Was this rude? (Please ignore if your problems are never trivial; this is!)

[SarahAndQuack]

DP and I went to a small party at my boss's home; he'd cooked a roast dinner. DP looked at it and said 'ooh, potato gratin for the third day in a row!' to me. I thought this was rude so said something like 'it all looks really delicious!' Since I'd not acknowledged the comment, DP repeated 'we've had potato gratin three days in a row now!' DP did also, to be fair, say it was delicious. We are now disagreeing. DP thinks it was a perfectly fine comment and doesn't really believe me that it was rude. I think it was rude.

Who is right?

Rude. Then if it wasn't meant like that, surely your DP can understand why someone might be offended?

Very rude.

I honestly don’t understand why anyone would be offended by this.

Yes, it was bad manners and thoughtless to the person who made it. But perhaps he wasn't brought up to know this. It wasn't mean or offensive.

Rude - especially to keep on about it.
I might comment on it to a really close friend - but not to a partners' colleague - whom presumably your partner does not know particularly well.

Rude. I’m on the spectrum and it’s the kind of thing I’d have said before I had my autistic traits a little better managed

The host doesnt know what you eat every day its a thoughtless comment-dont understand people who do this-i expect a child to say it not an adult

%Honestly as a host I’d be pissed off to spend half the morning thinly slicing potatoes and layering them only to be told it’s as exciting as cold sick.^

Yes, that’s it. If it was just something ordinary like, say, broccoli or spinach, that she really likes, it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s the effort that makes it rude.

FWIW, I personally wouldn't be offended by it. Infact I'd feel regretful that they have to be subjected to the same meal again (if they're tired of it) but if they thought it's delicious, then that's all that matters. However, I understand most people would find it rude, so it's a generally rude thing to say to most people.

If it was said in a jovial, upbeat, hahaha type way then it's not remotely rude.

Sorry.

Yes, the host heard. No, he doesn't know her well.
Yes, to whoever said I should have saved it by saying how much she likes gratin, that's true.

Personally I'd give someone the benefit of the doubt and assume they just had a foot in mouth moment and not think much of it BUT it might cause offence because most people don't want to have the same dish three days in a row (even if it's a dish they enjoy). So it comes across as being disapointed in what's being served which a host might be annoyed by having taken the time to prepare the dish.

The other day I went to my friend's for dinner she had made a desert which was very well prepared (she's an excellent baker) but had quite a bit of almond essence in it which I don't particularly like. I wouldn't mention this to her even though it's true and not her fault I don't like almond essence (she couldn't have possibly known this). I just pointed out how well prepared the dish was.

Sounds like the kind of thing I would say where I don't mean to but it comes across as really sarcastic!

Tactless and thoughtless.

Ok, we'd have to agree to disagree. I bloody love gratin and it was a nice meal.

He's obviously a bit thick if he didn't catch on to your hint to belt up.

I don't have any reason to believe she's autistic; I think it's other posters who have mentioned autism.

What's more to the point is her mum has shocking manners (and will routinely say things that make even DP squirm), and I think she's ended up with a fairly skewed idea of what's socially normal.

You are right. So rude!

No; I just figured it wasn't relevant here. Often it is, I realise. I would NC if I thought it was important to be gender neutral, but didn't.

Very rude.

It comes across like he's saying 'Oh no, not bloody potato gratin again'

Who on earth, apart from your DP, would think that was anything but rude.

I agree with @ABigSalad123
why did she repeat it? Probably looked as attention seeking. Also as it’s your boss I would be really careful with comments.

Beyond rude and embarrassing.

Rude.

Someone (who doesn't even know her) goes to the trouble of cooking her some really nice grub and she moans about it? I would be going on my own to social events in future.

Does she have any manners?

Sorry, how do you mean, ignored her?

I don't want to tell her what she can or can't say, but I wanted to know whether other people would have thought this was rude, or not, because I feel there's a pattern of her saying things that I think offend people, and then her wondering why people are offended. She hasn't asked for help with social skills and I think finds it all upsetting (and it would be for me, too, and god knows I get things wrong often too). But she does sometimes ask why people don't include us/DD more.

Not the worst possible thing, especially if he then said it was delicious, but yes, a bit rude.