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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

768 replies

tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:42

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

OP posts:
upfucked · 02/01/2023 02:46

You flew with covid? Why did you test if you weren’t going to change your behaviour? Are you parents older or vulnerable?

Merlott · 02/01/2023 02:47

Some people still panic over Covid. You can take that as a measure of the success of the campaigning that was done throughout 2020 and 2021.

It is annoying but not worth losing the relationship over.

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:49

@upfucked
No. I tested after I arrived in my home country. I stayed in another city for a few days but I left out these irrelevant details to make this post simple to read.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 02/01/2023 02:53

Perhaps your parents don’t want to catch it , if you choose to end the relationship over this then you can’t care much about the person involved .

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:55

@Floralnomad i spent thousands of pounds and took a lot of time off work to travel with my young child to see them. Everyone involved is vaccinated and has had COVID. I think that this demonstrates that they don't care much about me.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 02/01/2023 02:55

I think their reaction was pretty normal, and you planning to see your parents while knowing you had covid was not normal. Why would you think it is ok to do that?

Thedaysthatremain · 02/01/2023 02:56

I wouldn't let anyone in my house with covid either

Waynettaaa · 02/01/2023 02:56

I definitely still would have seen you after all your efforts with travelling. I would feel exactly the same in your position.

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:57

@Stompythedinosaur I did not ask them to see me anyway. But they certainly showed that they don't care about me and I can't count on them.

They left me in a really bad spot with the airport etc (I was supposed to stay with them, the airport is several hundred miles away).

I certainly won't bother traveling to see them again.

OP posts:
upfucked · 02/01/2023 02:58

Are your parents older or vulnerable?

CharlotteRose90 · 02/01/2023 02:58

Your username is accurate. How selfish can you be. Throwing a tantrum because your parents want to protect themselves and the rest of your family from getting covid. They’ve done the right thing. You wouldn’t be welcome in my house either. It’s crap it’s happened but it’s what you get when you don’t test before flying and you are around someone that was positive. I hope you didn’t infect loads of people in the other city you visited.

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:59

@CharlotteRose90 I was perfectly healthy when I left. I probably picked it up from family in the other city.

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 02/01/2023 03:00

I’d be annoyed too, but surely you’ve noticed that different people have different levels of anxiety around covid?

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 03:00

@upfucked they are in their 60s and are reasonably healthy

OP posts:
Bagsundermyeyestoday · 02/01/2023 03:00

I think you're worse given you didn't care about passing it on, but understand why you feel upset. They may not have been ill, or they could've died? People all have varying degrees of how comfortable they are abut covid so YABU

supersonicginandtonic · 02/01/2023 03:01

Why on earth did you test of you had no symptoms and you were intending to carry on as normal?

Wombat100 · 02/01/2023 03:01

Grow up.

Your parent(s) didn’t want to increase their chances of catching covid by inviting you into their house once they knew you’d had a positive test. Seems fair to me.

I’d caution against throwing your toys out the pram over this. I’ve just lost my dad and can categorically tell you that life is too short to hold a grudge.

Original poster
tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 03:04

@Wombat100 grow up?

I can tell you that I won't be pissing away thousands of pounds to try to see them again.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 02/01/2023 03:04

tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:59

@CharlotteRose90 I was perfectly healthy when I left. I probably picked it up from family in the other city.

Boo hoo. You have it now and are being incredibly selfish. I suppose you will fly positive Aswell and infect hundreds of people on the plane. Just accept it and move on. Your family don’t want to see you and rightly so.

WandaWonder · 02/01/2023 03:05

If you were my child with that attitude I would tell you to save your money

Your attitude is very odd

Wombat100 · 02/01/2023 03:08

tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 03:04

@Wombat100 grow up?

I can tell you that I won't be pissing away thousands of pounds to try to see them again.

Don’t then, no skin off my nose.

You asked if you are being unreasonable. Currently 82% of posters say you are being unreasonable. Choose to ignore that if you want but seems pretty definitive to me.

Toomanybooks22 · 02/01/2023 03:11

I think people are being really harsh on this thread, the OP travelled thousands of miles to see their family and got Covid at some point en route. However, unless the family are clinically vulnerable I don't see how they could reject their child like that and go on with having a Christmas party and seeing lots of other people that might give them covid anyway. It doesn't sound like the relatives are self isolating. The idea that anyone should just be ok with being rejected like this seems really quite harsh. I don't think I'd cut off family (although don't think I'd be bothering travelling anymore for them) but I can totally appreciate the OP must be feeling really rejected.

Ivyonafence · 02/01/2023 03:12

I wouldn't let anyone in my house with COVID.

Bad luck OP, but they're not unreasonable.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/01/2023 03:13

My parents banned me from Christmas in 2021 because my sister was getting married and incase they got covid. I did NOT have it. However you do have it and I don't blame them for wanting it in their house.

SugarplumFairyyy · 02/01/2023 03:14

tantrumingcoldchild · 02/01/2023 02:57

@Stompythedinosaur I did not ask them to see me anyway. But they certainly showed that they don't care about me and I can't count on them.

They left me in a really bad spot with the airport etc (I was supposed to stay with them, the airport is several hundred miles away).

I certainly won't bother traveling to see them again.

If you were child I would definitely see you.