Friend being CF or I’m tight?

[PandorasBoxers]

I genuinely don’t know if IABU here. For context I grew up very poor and while this made my DB extra generous it made me really fearful of being cold or hungry again.

DB died 6 years ago with no partner or children and left his house to me, his only sibling. I didn’t want to live in it but couldn’t get rid of it and the things in it because I was so sad.

my friend asked to move in to it and she’d pay a small rent (£100 pm for 4 bed new build in SW England) in exchange for not touching the big pieces of furniture and this worked great for both of us. She cleared most things over time with my permission and really helped me. She has made it her own and it’s nice to see it as friends and not have sad thoughts attached to it.

in spring we decided to move house as we wanted to ttc and realised the extra property isn’t helping as second home stamp duty is expensive and my friends home/rental wasn’t being run as a money maker.

I said to my friend that by January 2023 I’d need to run it like a real rental and this gave her 6 months (when I found out I was pregnant). It’s on a ‘new’ estate - everything’s 8 years old but up to scratch, so this wouldn’t have been too much extra work for me as I already paid for things to be fixed if they broke. I was asking that she pay £600pm which is still below normal but massively more than she was used to. She knew the reasons I had to do this. It would also have been better for me to sell.

I received a text a couple of days ago from friend to say she’s moved out. She gave no warning and has taken the fridge, freezer, washer, drier and some furniture. None of those things were hers. The walls have been bashed due to the move too.

She’s left rubbish in every room and old things she didn’t want. The garden is strewn with rubbish she clearly couldn’t fit in the van she’s hired to move.

if I was BU I’ll listen but I am so upset that she did this and only let me know at the last minute.

I work full time and a part time job and was hoping to take a years maternity and had counted on the rent (about £450pm once fees/taxes come out) so I could go part time after.

She's a fool and a thief, OP, but be glad she's gone. You would have had a nightmare getting her out should you have wanted to.

Make sure you take meter readings for Gas & Electricity immediately, as I'm sure she doesn't sound like the sort of person who would have let the utility companies know she was off.

You may be on rocky ground if she doesn't pay and you don't have a tenancy agreement though, so find a forwarding address for her before you cut her off.

Change the locks
she is/was a friend. I’d absolutely text her saying how dissapointed you were to find what you did. You feel she stole what she took and would like them returned. I mean yes she helped you early days but she’s lived with barely any rent when round here that would cost well over £1k a month ( and more!)

Its up to you if you take that further but it may be more hassle than it’s worth.
You said you want to sell. Either repair damage and paint it for selling or pay someone to do if it’s too much for you and get it on the market. Like you said time has past and you can maybe move on

it has saved you a lot of time and money trying to evict her.

Not sure the friendship would survive if it was me! Actually no it wouldn’t. It’s more the way she’s done to all without telling you!

Definitely change the locks, and warn her you'll contact the police.

It may be hard to prove the property was yours, though - and possession is 9 points of the law, so physically getting it back may be difficult. Photograph any damage done to the property and sue her for repair/redecoration if you have the energy for it.

I say "if you have the energy" because she is obviously a CF and is likely to fight tooth and nail - she has shown how spiteful she is.

I would also check that she hasn't left any little "surprises" (eg prawns left defrosting under the floorboards etc.)

SHe's awful and doesn't deserve your friendship.

She took advantage from the moment that she presented giving you a pittance to live in the house as doing you a favour!

Why are you more upset about her leaving without telling you than that she has stolen?

Will you bother pursuing it or just change the locks & move on?

It was a spiteful little post, wasn't it?

OP didn't deserve that. I wonder if this is her "friend"?

For those saying there is no tenancy agreement, actually there is.

by the act of her friend paying monthly rent, a tenancy agreement exists however it would be in accordance with basic terms.

spiteful poster was partially correct with regards to certain things needing to be done (gas safety) but there was no need for the post really.

I would advise you take meter readings right now, and set up a new account with energy suppliers. Anything before that is not yours. Any utilities.

you need to keep the text message saying she has moved out, counts as surrender of tenancy.

you need to notify council that you are now liable for council tax.

Of course you are upset. Your friend took massive advantage when you weren’t in your right mind by offering to stay in the house for £100 pcm then when you put the rent up-which you know is already below market, she leaves you with a load of extra work.
Now you are feeling better you can sell or rent for market value.
However, working two jobs while being pregnant must be exhausting-you need a proper rest, please take some time for yourself.

Wow, what a friend she turned out to be after you've been so generous! So sorry this has happened, I hope you can get your things back and move forward

Oh and I’m sorry you were taken advantage of, hope you can move past it. She wasn’t a good friend but you sound like a good person

www.lettingaproperty.com/landlord/blog/gas-safety-checks-landlords/

I wasn’t trying to be spiteful, I was trying to be factually accurate. No gas safety certificate? Unlimited fines and up to 6 months in prison.

no EICR? Fine of up to £30,000

she did have a tenancy agreement by virtue of paying rent. And the OP might have been doing her friend a favour but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been breaking the law and, therefore, I wouldn’t be pushing the white goods too far…

You’re right. She didn’t deserve it. It was the phrase “grief or no grief” which was particularly nasty and spiteful. Clearly someone who has never experienced grief.

She took advantage op.

Echoing other people, 48 hours to return the stuff or police for theft and she will be billed for deep clean and for clearing of the property and garden. She will also be billed for repairs.

Your “grief or no grief” phrase was unnecessary and nasty and has nothing to do with being “factually accurate.”

She's obviously been very passive aggressive and taking the white goods is theft, so a firm email /text arranging their return. Also she's been very unappreciative - she's helped you but she's had an unbelievably low rent in return and has chosen to end things in a really shabby way.

However, in some way she has done you a favour - you will be able to rent that for a much better rate, or sell it outright, and it will work out much better for you all in all.

Change the locks first
Rent out via agency for full amount.
She's a CF and has lived for pennies off your good nature.

I would seriously be calling the police.

I’d love to know where posters live who are giving out this advice? It must be idyllic. I’d like to move there.

We couldn’t get the police to be interested in our stolen car 6 months ago, despite us having clear CCTV images and a piece of clothing that was left behind on our property, we didn’t get to even see a police officer in person, all they were interested in was giving us a crime reference number for our insurance, they didn’t want the CCTV footage, we insisted in sending it to them and it “went missing” at their end.

It’s astonishing to me that people think the police will be interested in the theft of an 8 year old fridge and washing machine.

Indeed @StickyCricket

Can you imagine the first contact with police even if they were involved?

Tenant Friend: her brother had died, she didn’t want his things, that was hard for her. And of course, she didn’t need extra white goods anyway. We were friends too, me and her brother, so she said she wanted me to have them.

Police: well that sounds like bullshit, nobody is that generous are they? I mean - how much rent was she charging you? Oh.

I'm assuming you're no longer going to want to be 'friends' with this woman who so blatantly used your grief?

I'm so sorry about your DB - I'm in the too early sibling death club... It's the pits isn't it. 💐

Unless you're DB house is in a very odd area.... A 4 bed house in South West would be a minimum of 1200£ monthly.

You've essentially saved this woman a minimum of £72k.

Od let the theft of white goods go.... It's morally wrong what she's done.... But they would now be classed as old and she's inadvertently done you a favour for your incoming tenants.

However, send her a mail /text saying how disappointed you are at the state she has left the house for which you were letting her stay at peppercorn rent.ask her for a minimum of 500£ to thoroughly deep clean and clear the house.

I would be very tempted to persue through small claims.

I can't see it not being found in your favour?

Firstly I just want to say that I have lived this, I completely understand! I know it doesn’t feel like it now but this is totally for the best. If you needed to try and remove your friend it would have been a nightmare, courts and huge fees, which is so stressful as others said get the locks changed and house secure asap. Also I know that your brothers things have been taken but if they’re 8 years old then they’re nearly at their end of use, and if you rent it furnished then you would have been responsible for it all. And I understand your sentimental attachments and I did as you said and I sold the house as I just wanted rid of it, but in hindsight you were left that house by your brother so you could benefit from it he wanted you to have it. I wish I would have rented ours out, the rental market atm would make you a great income whilst raising a family, I’m now years later desperately trying to buy another rental for the extra income, and kicking myself for how much easier it would of been raising my family. Before you make a decision go to 3 estate agents and get figures from them, for a small fee you could have it rented out at nearly double what your friend was going to pay and they will do all the work so you don’t have to deal with it. Or if you can’t face it and the value will allow it sell the house and buy 2 smaller places to rent out. The property values will keep rising and you’ll have extra income every month which will allow you to raise a family in a much better position

OP you could be eligible for maternity pay from your part time job too - https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/maternity-leave-and-pay-if-you-have-more-than-one-employer/#:~:text=You%20do%20not%20have%20to,claim%20it%20from%20each%20employer.

So sorry for the loss of your brother

I’d report her to the police as surely she’s burgled your property. You’ve got the text messages so it’s an admission of guilt.

Definitely get locks changed, what a nasty way to treat you, just wow!

Your friend has her nose out of joint and is showing her true Colours. She’s used you for cheap rent when you were most vulnerable and repays you by stealing and leaving you in the lurch. Good riddance. She doesn’t deserve your friendship.

I think it might be hard to prove ownership of the things that were taken.

She hasn't entered the property illegally to take them.