Am I just an ungrateful bitch?

[mumbojumbo7]

Been with DP a few months, our first Christmas. He can’t do enough for me and he’s so so lovely.
I absolutely love the little things, it’s something I’ve always said and he knows about me. I got him a pair of boots he really wanted, but I also filled a stocking of his favourite snacks and got a few little bits he really loved.

He knows I’m huge on little things too. And there’s lots of little things I have been pointing out such as ornaments for my room, types of (not expensive) jewellery I like, fave type of sweets etc etc.

He got me one big present, which was a piece of jewellery with my favourite flower on it, as well as a Prosecco glass as I accidentally broke one of mine.

It’s honestly really lovely, but he spent over £100 on this big present and I’ve never been huge on big sort of superficial gifts like that. I know I’d rather have £100 spent on lots of little things or something for us to do.

I am really grateful for it but I think I just worry that it means he doesn’t know me very well, or doesn’t listen.

Am I being a bitch? I haven’t said anything and obviously won’t, but just wanted to know if I’m being mean

For your boyfriends sake - please end the relationship. How is he going to live up to your stupid expectations for Valentine’s Day?

a partner is someone you share your life with, have a home together and make plans - a boyfriend is someone you're dating

Yes

Are you coming back to the thread @mumbojumbo7?

He sounds like a lovely boyfriend! You can steer him on this later if needs be, but frankly he's bought you two very considerate presents that shows he does listen - your favourite flower, a replacement for something you've broken - so I would just say thank him and be happy.

Sounds like you've got a good relationship. My advice - if you want it - is don't over-think things.

I’m confused as to why a piece of jewellery with your favourite flower on is superficial but little ornaments for your room and sweets are not? Regardless, I think you’re overthinking it and he sounds very nice

Wow bloody hell yes.

He probably thinks spending £100 on one or two "big" gifts is much more sensible than spending £100 on a sack full of (what sounds like) shite.

daisies from the local school field and a box full of 100 hand written reasons I love you

Why’s it superficial if he took the time to find something with your favourite flower on? You sound insane

Yes

If you like little ornament things, buy them for yourself. I wouldn’t expect my DH to walk round gift shops finding a perfect present for me. Grateful for the thought he put into any present. Also, once your a grown up earning your own money, a gift really is just a token to say your thinking of the other person. If you really want something that specific, ise your own money.

You like little things. He likes giving you something thoughtful & significant. Plus a "little thing" - the Prosecco glass.

YABU and ungrateful.

But more than that, you're imposing your preferences on him.

You sound about 14.

These are excellent, thoughtful presents from one adult to another. What’s more, they sound broadly equivalent to those you purchased for him.

Ask your mum to carry on making you a stocking, if you want to continue to have a bag of cheapie things to unwrap at Christmas.

I’m completely the other way OP. I would prefer one main quality present rather than lots of bits and bobs 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely this.

Beware of spoiling this time for yourself.

I'm married 30 years to a man i adore and I couldn't do a load of small thoughful gifts if both our lives depended upon it.😁

This. Ohhh he doesn't listen or pay attention but knows my favorite flower knows that I'm missing my Prosecco glass which I broke and spent a fair bit on a piece of jewellery.

I’m the 1% of voters who agreed with you. Yes it was thoughtful what he got but presumable the large superficial gift wasn’t something you wanted. I find men often can’t be bothered getting lots of little gifts because it’s just far too much effort for them

Some people will always find a reason to be unhappy

So you want him to spend £100 on cheap tat rather than something good?

I got a box of chocolates
I’ll swap those with your presents - if his gifts aren’t good enough

id have loved some jewellery

A "superficial gift" sounds like he got it spot on tbh

I kind of get where you are coming from but I think you need to just tell him. Every year I tell my husband I just want one 'decent' present. Every year he gets me lots of small presents. He does it because he likes lots of 'stuff' and can't understand how I wouldn't! I have to be very clear and he is slowly getting better.
If you don't tell him you are going to continue to be disappointed and hopeful that next time he will miraculously get it right. He probably won't and it probably doesn't have any link to how he feels about you either. We all just think differently.

Think you have been watching too many romance movies, OP.

I doubt is as she has had her arse handed to her.

Your gift was really thoughtful, I would have been really touched that he had actually put effort into something he knew you would like.

Next year just tell him to go to a Pound Shop and he can just get you100 items of crap.

If this happened of course🤔

Very