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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I just an ungrateful bitch?

187 replies

mumbojumbo7 · 30/12/2022 19:02

Been with DP a few months, our first Christmas. He can’t do enough for me and he’s so so lovely.
I absolutely love the little things, it’s something I’ve always said and he knows about me. I got him a pair of boots he really wanted, but I also filled a stocking of his favourite snacks and got a few little bits he really loved.

He knows I’m huge on little things too. And there’s lots of little things I have been pointing out such as ornaments for my room, types of (not expensive) jewellery I like, fave type of sweets etc etc.

He got me one big present, which was a piece of jewellery with my favourite flower on it, as well as a Prosecco glass as I accidentally broke one of mine.

It’s honestly really lovely, but he spent over £100 on this big present and I’ve never been huge on big sort of superficial gifts like that. I know I’d rather have £100 spent on lots of little things or something for us to do.

I am really grateful for it but I think I just worry that it means he doesn’t know me very well, or doesn’t listen.

Am I being a bitch? I haven’t said anything and obviously won’t, but just wanted to know if I’m being mean

OP posts:
Minimalme · 30/12/2022 19:55

He is a monster. He chose a present he wanted to give you, rather than the presents you wanted him to give.

Next he'll be choosing his own clothes and not deferring to you when planning dinner.

Clear cut case of LTB I'm afraid.

misslucy92 · 30/12/2022 20:00

Hippyatheart58 · 30/12/2022 19:18

He is your boyfriend. Not a partner. No he does not know you because it has been a few months. You come across very ungrateful. Referring to a gift as superficial and I suspect would be hurtful if he knew you thought that. Perhaps he considered it thoughtful. He spent more than I would of on a new relationship. You basically wanted a heap of stuff and didn't get it and this is somehow his fault?

What is the difference, if I may ask?

To me a boyfriend and a partner are the exact same things.

Fuckitydoodah · 30/12/2022 20:01

Yep, yabu.

Send him my way 😁

Newuser82 · 30/12/2022 20:02

Sage396 · 30/12/2022 19:07

Jewellery with your favourite flower, and a replacement for an item you broke, seem like very thoughtful gifts from someone you've been with a few months, and both show that he pays attention and listens...

Totally!

ReneBumsWombats · 30/12/2022 20:02

You cannot be serious.

HeadNorth · 30/12/2022 20:03

I agree, he sounds completely wrong for you - I hope you are going to throw this one back.

Longstockin · 30/12/2022 20:03

Sage396 · 30/12/2022 19:07

Jewellery with your favourite flower, and a replacement for an item you broke, seem like very thoughtful gifts from someone you've been with a few months, and both show that he pays attention and listens...

Exactly what I thought.

ThePoshUns · 30/12/2022 20:04

Did it look disappointing on your instagram? Comparison is the thief of joy.

StickofVeg · 30/12/2022 20:04

Sorry but as PP I think YABU.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/12/2022 20:04

Yes you’re being ungrateful. If having a stocking of little things is important to you then you need to say this explicitly, you’ve only been together a few months and this is your first Christmas so he’s not going to get it 100% right. Next year when it gets round to autumn make the suggestion that you both do stockings for each other for Christmas, agree on a budget and then start dropping hints once you’ve actually shared your expectations with him!

TrimTheTree · 30/12/2022 20:04

Maybe he’s thinking the same? He would rather one single high quality present with thought than £100 quids worth of crap?

ButtonMoonLoon · 30/12/2022 20:06

Referring to him as your DP after a few months seems a bit of a premature leap to me.
Some people wouldn’t even be at the point of present buying after so little time.
His choices sound incredibly thoughtful.
You are coming across as a little high maintenance and immature.

Wrinklydinkly · 30/12/2022 20:06

You sound like hard work. How old are you?

Candleabra · 30/12/2022 20:07

They’re lovely thoughtful gifts. I’d be thrilled.
A few months is not long to know someone. You are being very ungrateful.

catandcoffee · 30/12/2022 20:08

Appears a unanimous vote which is unusual for AIBU 😆

BadNomad · 30/12/2022 20:08

It's not often you meet someone who prefers quantity to quality.

You better have the "love languages" talk with him so he knows you need gifts to feel loved.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/12/2022 20:08

if you want lots of cheap crap, why not go and buy it yourself?

Pushmepullu · 30/12/2022 20:09

Sorry, as the mother of a boy who would have probably bought these gifts, you sound like a thoroughly entitled spoilt brat who I would advise my son to stay away from.
There are women on here who would have loved to have been given such thoughtful gifts, but you have come on here asking such a ridiculous question. Are you for real?

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 30/12/2022 20:09

This made me think of Dudley Dursley being furious because he only got 36 presents compared to last years 37 😂😂😂

Taillighttoobright · 30/12/2022 20:11

Very ungrateful - and you know it, too, which is promising for the relationship as he sounds like a keeper! Give your head a massive wobble and reassess your gift requirements.

Messyhair321 · 30/12/2022 20:11

Yes. Look I've been married over 20 years & I still think with gifts my DH often misses the mark. It just doesn't matter though not in the big scheme of things & it's nice to get something isn't it?

Tempyname · 30/12/2022 20:13

People are not the same, he put in effort but it’s not good enough as you would have done it differently. Buy the little things you wanted yourself?

NUTELLAPEANUTBUTTTTEERRRRRRR · 30/12/2022 20:14

He sounds thoughtful, you sound like hard work

Schnooze · 30/12/2022 20:14

Next present giving occasion just say that you love little gifts rather than a main one, and can he focus on that.

No big issue.

MichaelFabricantWig · 30/12/2022 20:15

Well if you’ve only been together a few months he won’t know you that well yet so not sure I see the problem

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