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Original poster

Am I just an ungrateful bitch?

187 replies

mumbojumbo7 · 30/12/2022 19:02

Been with DP a few months, our first Christmas. He can’t do enough for me and he’s so so lovely.
I absolutely love the little things, it’s something I’ve always said and he knows about me. I got him a pair of boots he really wanted, but I also filled a stocking of his favourite snacks and got a few little bits he really loved.

He knows I’m huge on little things too. And there’s lots of little things I have been pointing out such as ornaments for my room, types of (not expensive) jewellery I like, fave type of sweets etc etc.

He got me one big present, which was a piece of jewellery with my favourite flower on it, as well as a Prosecco glass as I accidentally broke one of mine.

It’s honestly really lovely, but he spent over £100 on this big present and I’ve never been huge on big sort of superficial gifts like that. I know I’d rather have £100 spent on lots of little things or something for us to do.

I am really grateful for it but I think I just worry that it means he doesn’t know me very well, or doesn’t listen.

Am I being a bitch? I haven’t said anything and obviously won’t, but just wanted to know if I’m being mean

OP posts:
tuvamoodyson · 30/12/2022 19:34

RUN!!!! (Him, not you)

Yoloohno · 30/12/2022 19:34

I’ll have him and you can have mine.

He is off the quantity versus quality school of thought.

This year I had £50 worth of small, generic presents that are consumables rather than 1 good quality item I would cherish for years with some thought.

Beelezebub · 30/12/2022 19:34

You don’t like “the little things”, you like lots of things.

kingtamponthefurred · 30/12/2022 19:35

If you want a load of tat, you can always go to Poundland and buy it yourself.

DashboardConfessional · 30/12/2022 19:36

Cheap jewellery that's going to tarnish and end up in landill is far more superficial than a decent piece made of gold/silver.

NothingHoldingMeBack · 30/12/2022 19:36

You're lucky you got that.. I'd have got you nothing!

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 30/12/2022 19:37

Honestly, those sound like absolutely lovely gifts.

I think you're being pretty harsh and yes, quite ungrateful too.

theremustonlybeone · 30/12/2022 19:38

well safe to safe your relationship wont last long if you cant seen what a lovely thoughtful person this man is. He replaced your broken glass and bought you something with a specific flower he knows you love. You may prefer small presents but perhaps its time to venture into adulthood and enjoy being spoilt with more expensive meaningful items

Sunnydays0101 · 30/12/2022 19:39

You sound like hard work. Who really has the time or inclination to be running around buying random pieces of crap or to make sure to absorb the many hints you were giving about the tat you had spotted in shops?

Isn’t your necklace meaningful as it’s linked with your favourite flower ?

Did you want to be exclaiming in delight - oh you saw me admiring this in xx shop - oh you remember I said I liked xx - oh you remembered me saying I’d like xx.

SallyWD · 30/12/2022 19:41

He seems very thoughtful and generous for a man you've only been seeing a few months.

Puckthemagicdragon · 30/12/2022 19:42

Why on earth would you want a pile of of tat? He's probably thinking to himself how soon can I charity shop all this crap she's given me!

theremustonlybeone · 30/12/2022 19:42

oh and a lovely thoughtful expensive piece of jewellery isnt 'superficial'

Googlecanthelpme · 30/12/2022 19:43

You’re not being a bitch as such no.

But you are trying to impose your way of doing things on another person.

It’s lovely that you are a sentimental person who enjoys traipsing shops and coming up with the exactly perfect little bits for people - but not everyone wants to do that.

I certainly do not! Fuck that for a joke.

I would rather give someone money every single time. Gift shopping fills me with absolute horror.

I like to tell someone what I want and then they buy it, I don’t want a bag full of shite they’ve randomly picked up.

You’re not wrong to be the way you are OP but he is not wrong either.

His presents sounds very well thought out and very personal. I think he’s done exceptionally well.

Perhaps look into ‘love languages’ OP

EarringsandLipstick · 30/12/2022 19:43

JFC.

I rarely say anything like this - but you are fortunate to have a lovely thoughtful DP, who got you a great present, and you are here whinging. I'm a single parent to 3 DC, and much as it's normally fine, at Christmas, I get wistful for a DP/H that might do something nice, get me a proper present. Grow up.

Bananarama21 · 30/12/2022 19:44

First World problems

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 30/12/2022 19:44

Sounds very much like the sort of thing one might be overly preoccupied with if one were hoping to post an impressive ‘haul’ on insta/wherever.

<shudders>

Come on now, @mumbojumbo7, you must know you’re being ridiculous!

Burgoo · 30/12/2022 19:45

Yes. You don't seem to deserve what he has given you IMO.
He seems too nice for you, and you need to get over yourself. This isn't all about you. People want to do nice things, just let them.
PS I find little things are usually tat and maybe he feels the same.

BashfulClam · 30/12/2022 19:45

I think you are missing these are the little things. Knowing your favourite flower and getting jewellery with that theme. Knowing you broke one of your glasses do buying a replacement for you…those are so thoughtful and is the little touches. My mum buys me a mountain
of absolute shite, really cheap tat as she likes to have lots of presents to hand over. I’ve often said for the same money she could just get me one or two really nice things that I don’t have to charity shop or quite frankly bin.

Charlize43 · 30/12/2022 19:45

Maybe it's a generational thing but gifting was all about the gesture when I was brought up...

I'm always shocked to see threads here with people complaining about the monetary value or something not being good enough.

When did younger people become so entitled and hard to please?

I never really give much thought to presents I dislike as it's all about the gesture and the gratitude to receive and accepting things with good grace - that's what we called it 'good grace'. Even if it gets taken to the charity shop, something good has come out of it.

Typo22 · 30/12/2022 19:46

Think yourself lucky, one year I bought my DH a blender for his birthday.

Absolutely no idea why I thought that would be a suitable gift or what I was thinking.

I ended up using the blender more than he does...

Shoecleaner · 30/12/2022 19:46

It's a yes from me.

IneedanewTV · 30/12/2022 19:47

You need to grow up.

who wants a pile of £10 tat gifts rather than a piece of jewellery that had you favourite flower on? Are you a child? He also replaced a glass. I would say that’s really thoughtful. What thought did you do in buying him a pair of boots………….how exciting …….not.

BrutusMcDogface · 30/12/2022 19:48

If you carry on like this you won’t have this “problem” next year as he just won’t stick around. Poor bloke.

Theluggage15 · 30/12/2022 19:51

He really put proper thought into your presents and you’re here asking if you’re ungrateful. Well, yes you are. Really really really ungrateful. Buy your cheap tat yourself.

BabyFour2023 · 30/12/2022 19:54

Sage396 · 30/12/2022 19:07

Jewellery with your favourite flower, and a replacement for an item you broke, seem like very thoughtful gifts from someone you've been with a few months, and both show that he pays attention and listens...

This with bells on!