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Original poster

Husband just told me he wishes I was someone else

233 replies

FedUp2023 · 29/12/2022 23:42

Marriage not good at the moment. He’s very cold, unloving and secretive. He suffers ED so haven’t had sex for nearly 4 years, I’ve tried but been rejected and at very rare times he’s tried but couldn’t get an erection. He never shows me any affection. It’s always me who does but I’ve stopped too now.

today I tried to talk to him and asked him to tell me what he’s thinking. He said he wishes he was with someone else. In another universe he would want to be with a really “confident, in your face girl”. Whereas I’m “shy and anxious”. I’m actually very talkative but shy when I first meet people

it’s really upset me.

OP posts:
KateMcCallister · 30/12/2022 00:34

Does he manage to get an erection when he's being rinsed for money or imagining it? I get that it's a kink but fucking hell he is using you as an emotional punch bag.

Fucking hell love, leave the limp dicked cretin.

JonahAndTheSnail · 30/12/2022 00:35

To hell with him. You're raising his kids with no input with him. He's saying he'd rather be with some else. Yet he's presumably had several years to find such (a fictitious goddess in his ideal universe and with shitty bribes of handbags wtf?)! Still he can't use his 'big boy words' to communicate what the issue is to his partner and mother of his children, who has been a saint to put up with his bs for the past 4+years. Leave him and let his kids in time see him for the pathetic man he is.

WeyAyeMan · 30/12/2022 00:36

Off you fuck floppy cock!!

Seriously, read your posts again you deserve so much better and you won't find it while you're wasting your life with this sad case...

Purplestorm83 · 30/12/2022 00:36

Both kids are ill so your energy/attention is on them not him. He felt jealous and decided to get your attention back by being a cunt imho.

ArcticSkewer · 30/12/2022 00:38

I dunno...

You are choosing to stay with him

There's not much to say, really. If you think it's better to stay than leave then that's up to you.

LadyLolaRuben · 30/12/2022 00:41

You need to focus on getting your strength back then take all the advice from here to LTB. Lots of people on MN will support you virtually with their experience.

Orangepolentacake · 30/12/2022 00:42

Purplestorm83 · 30/12/2022 00:36

Both kids are ill so your energy/attention is on them not him. He felt jealous and decided to get your attention back by being a cunt imho.

This

also - you can’t save him

FellOnMyArseToDay · 30/12/2022 00:42

He has destroyed you.

you CAN BUILD yourself up.
YOU and DC deserve and should have better.

Maybe being a weekend dad would suit him, sounds like he wasn’t meant to be part of a nuclear family. Finally
YOU ARE more than enough for your DC.

DarceyG · 30/12/2022 00:42

FedUp2023 · 29/12/2022 23:42

Marriage not good at the moment. He’s very cold, unloving and secretive. He suffers ED so haven’t had sex for nearly 4 years, I’ve tried but been rejected and at very rare times he’s tried but couldn’t get an erection. He never shows me any affection. It’s always me who does but I’ve stopped too now.

today I tried to talk to him and asked him to tell me what he’s thinking. He said he wishes he was with someone else. In another universe he would want to be with a really “confident, in your face girl”. Whereas I’m “shy and anxious”. I’m actually very talkative but shy when I first meet people

it’s really upset me.

Omg leave this piece of shit. It’s better to single with such a fucking horror!! Tell him you’d rather be with someone who can get a hard on the sad little freak.

gaydadoliver · 30/12/2022 00:44

Leave him...

OldFan · 30/12/2022 00:44

What an abusive and perverted saddo. Please separate from him @FedUp2023

Thedogscollar · 30/12/2022 00:46

OldFan · 30/12/2022 00:44

What an abusive and perverted saddo. Please separate from him @FedUp2023

Exactly this. He is repulsive🤮

ashitghost · 30/12/2022 00:46

Give him what he wants. Get in his face and tell him to fuck off.

oakleaffy · 30/12/2022 00:48

@FedUp2023
How would he feel if you said

''Actually, I really want to be with someone different, who can 'Get it up' and be confident and kind''

I wonder if he feels crushed about erectile issues?

No need to take it out on you, though.

gaydadoliver · 30/12/2022 00:51

It sounds like He wants you to leave him... he does not have the courage to do it so it putting the ball in your court!

TheCurseOfBoris · 30/12/2022 00:55

It end now.

TheCurseOfBoris · 30/12/2022 00:56

Please get out of there.

mathanxiety · 30/12/2022 00:58

Tell him he needs to get out there and find someone more to his taste.

Tell him he has until the end of next week to pack his bags and leave or you will order a skip and start throwing his stuff into it. It's not your concern where he goes.

Your marriage is over love. Put it out of its misery. The only way you can go from here is up.

AnnaBanana8 · 30/12/2022 00:59

FedUp2023 · 29/12/2022 23:42

Marriage not good at the moment. He’s very cold, unloving and secretive. He suffers ED so haven’t had sex for nearly 4 years, I’ve tried but been rejected and at very rare times he’s tried but couldn’t get an erection. He never shows me any affection. It’s always me who does but I’ve stopped too now.

today I tried to talk to him and asked him to tell me what he’s thinking. He said he wishes he was with someone else. In another universe he would want to be with a really “confident, in your face girl”. Whereas I’m “shy and anxious”. I’m actually very talkative but shy when I first meet people

it’s really upset me.

Omg I can't believe he said that to you. I'm sorry but when he said "I wish you were someone else" I don't think I would have been able to stop myself saying, " I wish I was with someone who could get it up."

mathanxiety · 30/12/2022 01:01

He can be your financial slave. Make sure you get a really good solicitor.

Reindeersnooker · 30/12/2022 01:03

You'll be much happier away from him.

butterfliedtwo · 30/12/2022 01:03

FedUp2023 · 30/12/2022 00:02

He’s crying now and saying he’s really sad and unhappy. I have no energy. I’m getting up every hour or so as both kids are unwell. I just feel so alone all the time. He never steps up and helps me emotionally or practically.

He sounds such a manipulative bastard. How fucking dare he offload that on you and then cry and be sad so you get to deal with that too? Absolute wanker of a man.

I'm so angry for you reading this.

BadNomad · 30/12/2022 01:04

Yeah let him go try find a "confident, in your face" woman who will settle for a pervert with a limp dick. What an idiot.

butterfliedtwo · 30/12/2022 01:08

mathanxiety · 30/12/2022 01:01

He can be your financial slave. Make sure you get a really good solicitor.

Absolutely this, OP. Such a twat.

Free yourself.

OldFan · 30/12/2022 01:09

He can be your financial slave. Make sure you get a really good solicitor.

@mathanxiety 😂

I wonder if he feels crushed about erectile issues?

@oakleaffy I think if a woman likes penetrative sex (unless the couple are, like, really old so it's par for the course really) a bloke not being able to get it up long-term is very disappointing. In an ideal universe we wouldn't have to put up with it.

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