AIBU to not lend neighbour my car?

[HouseIsOnFire]

Just that really... new neighbours (less than a year), not particularly close (friendly when I first moved in but a series of events has lead to some distance).

Was asked out of the blue if I had comprehensive insurance, and if so could they borrow my car as needed to sort something out at their buy-to-let (defrosting a boiler condenser pipe, so not an emergency!)

Been made to feel a bit mean, though I lied and said I didn't have the insurance.

YABU - Perfectly reasonable to ask an acquaintance if you can borrow their car, and it's mean of them not to say yes

YANBU - No, I wouldn't lend my car to someone (except maybe close family)

There's been a whole series of bonkers behaviour and now genuinely wondering if I was mean not to lend it! (I did offer a lift if needed but had to rescind the offer after 4 hours and still no time for said lift given - was clear I was expected to wait about all day in case offer was taken up!)

Sounds like OP has and they are messing around over that

OP you have your answer. This is a very inappropriate request from a neighbour. I think it’s good to not own a car but seems a bit inconsistent with the fact that they have a buy to let property somehow.

i really can’t understand your feeling guilty in any way if. I were you I’d stay very clear of them

OMG !! You are quite rightly being very careful. They sound as though they are positively goading you into a fight. But I think you are doing the right thing except you maybe should subtly withdraw to a polite distance. Get your locks changed, return their key. You could point out that it affects yours and theirs insurance cover which could be the case. Smile and wish them good day etc but try to have a good reason to not engage. Parcels are difficult imagine if they had one go missing? But a bit overtly unfriendly to refuse accepting neighbour parcels. They ARE gaslighting you so you really need to create a good space around you. They sound mad.

I’d say mad.

I think it was just so out of the blue to be asked to borrow my car, I couldn't work out if it was a "normal" request or not you know? Like when you find out your family tradition for years is completely oddball to everyone else! The PA responses I was getting was making me feel like I was being completely precious over my banger ha!

As for for the previous requests/events, I guess I've kind of been quite lenient on them, on the assumption they were overloaded and stressed out as so many people are right now - the final straw was being told I need therapy. It's only now I've written them all out that I've realised how bonkers the whole situation is!

It's quite normal and understandable to be blindsided when someone behaves in a way that isn't in line with cultural norms... if you're a polite person it's very hard to know what to do!

I did laugh at this 😆😆