To think toddler swearing isn’t a big deal

[Pottymouthw]

My daughter recently said fuck off recently. I was videoing her and she said it in context, she is two. I tried not to react as didn’t want to make it into a bigger deal. I don’t swear around my kids, or certainly not at them.

I told her dad, sent him the video because the timing was perfect and kind of funny ( I do NOT think children swearing is okay or cute but it happens).
a whole argue started as he said he’s not impressed, I need to find out where she got it from, we recently spent time with family over Christmas. My family also don’t swear around elders or children culturally it’s not the done thing.

Her dad said he feels like someone must be talking to her like that, maybe in my family we think it’s okay but no one is his family ever swore as a child. He said I need to figure out how she learnt this, could be from literally anywhere?! I don’t think hunk it’s a big deal, she doesn’t know what the words mean and I wouldn’t encourage it? Am I really being unreasonable to think it’s not a big deal?

I asked how old is your older daughter?

@Staffielove23 you made me giggle. How indeed do any of us get through life without the occasional fuck. It is a parenting website after all

Nah I don’t think that makes me special not swearing in front of my kids I just grew up in the culture that it’s very disrespectful. Clearly me not swearing didn’t work because I have a child who other posters wouldn’t let their child around 😂

Irrespective of your views on swearing I ca 't believe you are not more concerned. You say that you don't swear in front and it's not the done things in your home. If that's the truth then where on earth has she picked this up from? Is she watching something inappropriate on TV? Is someone else looking after her. I would be massively concerned about this from a what else has she been exposed to point of view.

I agree @PAFMO

MN users are fucking mental. You’ve all sworn in front of your kids. Have a day off.

I don't think that's true. Some people just aren't sweary in the first place, and imo some people find it much, much easier to filter their language than others. I never swore in front of my parents, even as a teenager. I've been a teacher for many years and have never sworn in front of a class. It becomes an ingrained habit not to. So I then didn't find it hard not to swear in front of my dc.

I don't 'deserve a medal', because it never really required much effort tbh. If my small child had said 'fuck off' I would have told them off in a calm but firm, age-appropriate way, then thought no more about it unless they did it again, not ignored it and posted the video to dh. No pearl-clutching, no shocked overreaction.

Well judging by the language used on Mums net threads that is normal conversation for many, so I assume she could have heard it anywhere.
I think under most circumstances swearing in normal conversation is the pits, it just proves lack of adequate vocabulary and is lazy speech.
I can totally understand your DH being annoyed about it.
My children have never sworn in the home or in front of me, no doubt they do when out with their friends, but it’s a mark of respect that they know there are boundaries to be kept.

How old is your older daughter?

does your ex swear?

how well do you get on with your ex?

I know it may seem hard to understand but physiologically, there is no way a child of 2 can spontaneously use a phrase in context.
Your description of what happened is a child who has heard somebody telling somebody else to fuck off when asked to do something they don't want to do. And they've heard it a fair few times. They don't understand it. But they know it's a functional response to a request.

It's the lack of concern for me, too. I'd be upset if DD came out with this aged 2. I'd be wanting to know where on earth she's been exposed to that sort of language. I certainly wouldn't be giggling to myself and posting on MN saying "this isn't a big deal is it"?

No one can! I will just never understand people’s need to martyr themselves.

Its so funny.

I think context matters most. "Fuck off" is horribly rude and that bothers me more than the swearing tbh. My DD once broke something and muttered "fuck" under her breath - she'd obviously heard me say it before. I didn't react and she hasn't said it since, but it didn't massively bother me because as far as she's concerned, it's equivalent to "oh bother!". I just made sure I was more careful about what I said. But that sort of swearing doesn't bother me. You can be very rude without swearing and that bothers me much more than swearing in a non-rude way (like when you've stubbed your toe or broken something etc).

Is this the site that coined the term "Atrocious Cunt" or have I been through the back of the wardrobe and entered the world of NetMums?

And your point is? Not sure there are many toddlers posting on MN, and I don't think anyone on the thread has suggested adults shouldn't be able to swear amongst themselves.

I swear
I swear sometimes in front my children (they and I hate it when I do)

however I am not so daft to know that there will be many that refrain from never swearing in front of their children. My mother swore once (I remember it to this day)!), and my father never.

I have never ever heard my BF of 30 years swear

My oldest child is 13. Far as im aware she doesn’t talk like that. I’ve asked her if she speaks that way and if so to not watch her mouth around her sister.

I’m not concerned that she has been exposed to anything. It could be from anywhere. Far as her dad we do try to get along, not long split up so tensions are high right now

Exactly! Language used on a forum for adults is an entirely different concept to language appropriate for use in front of a toddler. Not sure why that needs explanation, but there you go.

Refrain - agreed

go through their entire life accidentally not slipping out a swear word - absolutely not

Christ OP don't answer the nosey who want to know if you even get on with your ex......that has ZERO to do with your toddler dropping the F bomb or anyone else on this thread.

And there we have it.

if it is not her teen big sister
it is one of her sister’s friends

I know it may seem hard to understand but physiologically, there is no way a child of 2 can spontaneously use a phrase in context.
Your description of what happened is a child who has heard somebody telling somebody else to fuck off when asked to do something they don't want to do. And they've heard it a fair few times. They don't understand it. But they know it's a functional response to a request

I agree with this, your toddler has mirrored someone's behaviour.
I would not find it funny in the slightest, and if as you say your DC is really with no one else but you, it needs to be nursery, someone with your Ex or do they watch anything on your phone unsupervised that thru could stray on.

But yes to me it would be a big deal.

My oldest child is 13. Far as im aware she doesn’t talk like that. I’ve asked her if she speaks that way and if so to not watch her mouth around her sister.

That's probably the mystery solved. Pretty normal for 13 year-olds to swear when their parents aren't listening!

My oldest child is 13. Far as im aware she doesn’t talk like that. I’ve asked her if she speaks that way and if so to not watch her mouth around her sister

Well, I would think maybe this is the source

You truly believe absolutely every single parent on this planet has at some point sworn in front of their children? Without exception. Because it’s just not possible not to swear

There's a difference between overhearing an exclamation such as fuck or shit when a parent dropped a plate or stepped on Lego, and the specific insult fuck off. If you really don't think you say that in your house I would be questioning where she heard it. And no it's not funny. I'm not too bothered about swearing now my kids are secondary school age but wouldn't have been okay with a toddler swearing like that.

I think I’ve made that clear.