Is it inappropriate for an opposite sex teen/YA to share a hotel room with parent?

[MrsRobinsonsHandprints]

This was raised on another thread but isn't directly related to the thread so I don't think this is TAAT. Also if you read that thread please don't talk about it, this is a wider question than that situation.

Providing everyone gets on and is happy with it I don't think it is inappropriate for a parent to share a hotel room with their opposite sex child/Young adult. I would go further and say (again providing both sides are happy) that it isn't inappropriate to share with your child at any age.

YABU you shouldn't share with your older child

YANBU, it is a parent child relationship of course it isn't inappropriate.

It’s inappropriate due to lack of privacy and autonomy.

Never thought about it. But we've always gone away in the boat so everyone gets a bunk of their own. I guess it's the same in tents and camper van

I'm gonna try to avoid breaking guidelines here. Some posters post really odd, controversial and strange hot takes on mumsnet on lots of topics. They might be doing it for a reaction or they might just have a collection of very odd opinions but when you see a pattern it's worth noting. There may well be such a pattern in this case.

My DS18 wouldn't give a shit (ok, maybe would mind my snoring a bit), especially if it means more money for adventures. And food 😋

What is inappropriate about it?

No one has said that though have they.?

It is your right to not like the idea for your family. All fine. Do what you want for your family.

But just because you don't like it for you and your family doesn't make something inappropriate. That's why people are getting frustrated with your inability to see that the situation isn't actually an issue for the vast majority of people. You not liking something doesn't mean it is inappropriate for others to do it.

The only difference for us is changing in the bathroom, which is a minor inconvenience not a privacy issue, bathrooms have locks, no one is walked in on. Separate rooms just to read/sleep would mean we couldn't afford to go on holiday.

What lack of privacy and autonomy? And how does that make is inappropriate?

privacy is fine, there’s a separate room for changing and washing. No one is being forced to change or pee in front of anyone else.

autonomy they can still make their own decisions, no one is taking away any rights.

is it also inappropriate for children on school
trips to share with others?

how far do you take this right to privacy?

how do you feel about families forced into sharing rooms and bathrooms in hostel situations?

having your own room is a privilege, not a right.

When we went away last Xmas we had DSs friend who was 16 with us, we still bunked in a family room at Premier Inn, I offered to get a 2nd room and the friend and his mum said don't be daft, it's one night to just sleep at the airport.

Maybe the poster will come back and give us their take on the best way to get around the ‘inappropriateness’ for those who cannot afford multiple rooms for a a family.

Don’t go. That’s what we did. I posted this much earlier in the thread.

You liking something doesn’t make it appropriate for others to do it either.

how far do you take this right to privacy?
Separate bedrooms for teen DCs

how do you feel about families forced into sharing rooms and bathrooms in hostel situations? I think it’s horrible over-crowding which will lead to stress, and long term, serious MH issues.

No doubt you shouldn't dare to go away as a result.

So even if your children really want to go away and are more than happy to share you aren't allowed to let them. They have to miss out instead.

Folks, now you know that unless you can afford to pay for multiple rooms, you must never travel with your teens. Because it’s ‘inappropriate’.

So many millions engaging in this ‘inappropriate’ behaviour against human rights in a civilized society. Today you have been unmasked.

You haven't explained what is inappropriate about a parent and teen sleeping in the same room. What are the privacy concerns about sleeping in pyjamas in separate beds?

Most of the examples you gave, Onnabugeisha, are examples of incoveniences where the sex of the individuals concerned is irrelevant.

The question asked was 'is it OK for a teen to share with an opposite sex parent?'

Part of your answer seems to be 'no, because one might want the light on and the other might want it off'.

This makes no sense.

The part of your answer relating to periods possibly makes sense as being only an issue between opposite sexes, but even then, whilst it might make it slightly more embarrassing, it doesn't make it inappropriate.

So I should stop my teen dc travelling round the world with their hobby because they have to share a bedroom? Either with a team mate or a parent?

you know in events like the Olympics team mates share rooms? Should athletes turn down their places because they need their own rooms?

Yes, because it’s against human rights, apparently.

Bet you didn’t know this. Everyday is a school day.

When my DS was 13 we shared a double bed at a friend’s house and both agreed that it would be the last time.

We’ve shared a hotel room since (twin beds) which wasn’t ideal as we’re used to our own space and privacy at home but would not say it’s inappropriate.

DS is now 15 and it is definitely inappropriate for us to share a bed now.

You’re missing my initial answer which was it is inappropriate with any teen DC, but even more inappropriate if the teen DC is of the opposite sex.

It all makes sense to me in terms of privacy and autonomy. 🤷‍♀️

You don’t have privacy if you’re sharing. That’s the concern- no privacy.

I think people don’t understand that privacy is the quality or condition of being secluded from the presence or view of others.

As in if you’re not alone, you don’t have privacy.

Not usually I appropriate if it's a hotel room, I'd say, as long as everyone is still afforded some privacy.
I had to share a room with my dad as a young teenager for a few years, it was absolutely awful. It would be inappropriate in that case as I had no privacy and was always disturbed by him going to bed later/getting up for work. Not to mention he never wore pyjamas (luckily we had single beds!). 🤢

Why do people need to read/sleep in a room alone? Why is privacy needed for those activities?

Why is it inappropriate 😊