Is it inappropriate for an opposite sex teen/YA to share a hotel room with parent?

[MrsRobinsonsHandprints]

This was raised on another thread but isn't directly related to the thread so I don't think this is TAAT. Also if you read that thread please don't talk about it, this is a wider question than that situation.

Providing everyone gets on and is happy with it I don't think it is inappropriate for a parent to share a hotel room with their opposite sex child/Young adult. I would go further and say (again providing both sides are happy) that it isn't inappropriate to share with your child at any age.

YABU you shouldn't share with your older child

YANBU, it is a parent child relationship of course it isn't inappropriate.

I don’t think it’s against the rules. I’ve read the guidelines. Nothing about have to ignore context and I’ve seen posters frequently bring in context from other threads to new threads all the time.

Yes, it was meant to be a nice image…people who like to be close to each other and prefer it. Puppies definitely do and they feel cosy and safe and comfortable when sleeping all by each other.

Unfortunately not all of we humans are like puppies…maybe it’s genetic, but in my family past childhood, we just prefer to sleep alone. There’s no deep dark trauma or fear behind this, it’s just what makes us feel cosy and comfortable.

Different OP means the deleted thread is not context for this one. If you suspect trolling then report.

I don’t suspect trolling though?

Perfectly acceptable for parents and adult/teen offspring to share a hotel room - twin beds. We really don't need to sexualise every normal relationship - that's unhealthy!

Not opposite sex but I'm 25 and my mum lives 300 miles away. Often we meet up halfway for a little stay in a hotel. We always share a bedroom and a bed.

Each to their own, of course, and I understand some people wouldn't. But I think it's unfair to say its always inappropriate. I don't think it's as cut and dry as that.

So everyone is taking the OP at face value except for you @Onnabugeisha?

I've read your posts on this thread, I don't believe you.

I don’t see the difference from this and siblings sharing. My 17 and 11 year olds share a room, eldest is almost an adult. No more space available so they get on with it

My dd13 would love her own room on holiday, and it’s better for us too, but it’s not financially viable. The best she sometimes gets is a room with her 6 year old sister if we can get a reasonably priced family suite.

She understands that and would rather stay in a nicer place with less room too if given the options.

I’m assuming it’s not scarring her since she’s said she wants to still come on holiday with us even when she’s grown up as long as her sister is still getting taken (big age gap and FOMO!)

No no no. Ask MN, when I made this post the other hadn't been deleted and I am definitely not the OP of the other post. (As I said feel free to message MN)

I had just seen the post that 'it is inappropriate to share with a teen' and that interested me. I was surprised that someone thought a parent and child sharing was inappropriate.

I've read the rules, I can't see that a point that isn't linked to a now deleted thread is against the rules.

It was a post on a thread that interested me and I thought was worth of a thread on its own. As said previously I find my opinions are often very different from MN majority (not because I'm a troll, I just see the world differently) so I was interested to find out I'd others thought sharing with an older child was weird.

Obviously some are going to be happy about it. Some are even going to insist. If I booked seperate rooms for my daughter and I she would think she was being punished for something!

Exactly.

Dd and her dad stayed in a hotel recently... On condition that she shared a room with him to keep her safe from other randoms. She's safer with her dad.

I meant the poster I was responding to, not that you had done anything wrong. It seems they are not taking this thread at face value and are instead responding to it in what they see as 'context' of the deleted thread.

I share twin rooms with my teen DS. It’s not ideal but not all of us have the MN six figure salary.

Nothing wrong with sharing a room in theory.

However, when I was 17 I shared a room for one night in London with my dad. I was there for a university interview the next day and he was there for a work meeting. People definitely assumed we were a couple and I was completely mortified.

We got to the hotel and they'd prepared a room with a double bed and I think a bottle of fizz with two glasses or something - totally reasonably as they'd maybe only had our names and assumed we were married, but I was still embarrassed. Anyway my dad phoned reception and explained, and they put us in another twin bed room which was fine.

However we then went out for a meal which involved walking through Soho (when it was still a slightly seedy area). Someone actually cat-called me and said "got yourself a sugar daddy then luv?" It was genuinely the most embarrassing moment of my life. Neither of us ever mentioned it again.

So I'd just be wary of booking a hotel room in circumstances where you might give the wrong impression because, especially for a teenager, it's an awful, disturbing feeling.

I've shared hotel rooms with my mum loads of times as an adult and that is completely fine. After my dad died (I was 20) I also shared a bed with her for a couple of weeks as we both just needed the comfort.

Not caring. I can just as easily say I don’t believe you. There said it. 🤷‍♀️

That post was my post. And it was said in the context of that thread. So when you started your thread about my post on that other thread, why wouldn’t I respond in that same context?

It is not remotely inappropriate. Sleeping alone is a very modern concept - we are supposed to all sleep in close proximity to the rest of our 'tribe'.

@Onnabugeisha but why? 'Because it is' isn't an answer.

“Autonomy and privacy” obviously 🙄

haven’t you read the thread 😂

"When people says it’s weird i can only assume they have never lived with teenagers. They spend half their lives in their beds. If you didn’t talk to them while in bed you would never have a conversation."

This

It's fine.

I always shared a room with my dad when we went on holiday - because it saved us a fortune and meant we could actually afford to go away. I did that up until I was 18-19 and would do it now if we went away somewhere.

I shared a room and a bed with my mum not long ago as we had family staying. That was fine too.

Not been away with ds since covid started (except to peoples' houses) but in 2019 he was 17 and we shared a family room then. We usually had a family room but in some places if we could afford it he had his own room. A couple of times we had a suite where there was a lounge and bedroom so he had his own space.

He preferred his own room but it depended on cost and availability (and length of stay).