Is it inappropriate for an opposite sex teen/YA to share a hotel room with parent?

[MrsRobinsonsHandprints]

This was raised on another thread but isn't directly related to the thread so I don't think this is TAAT. Also if you read that thread please don't talk about it, this is a wider question than that situation.

Providing everyone gets on and is happy with it I don't think it is inappropriate for a parent to share a hotel room with their opposite sex child/Young adult. I would go further and say (again providing both sides are happy) that it isn't inappropriate to share with your child at any age.

YABU you shouldn't share with your older child

YANBU, it is a parent child relationship of course it isn't inappropriate.

I think it is fine, it is possible to be respectful when sharing a space. I honestly don't understand what people think would happen psychologically to a teen who shared a room for a night or two with their parent? Or went camping?

So true.
last summer my 20 year old and 17 year old shared an airport hotel bedroom. We left the bar, got changed into sleeping stuff and got into our beds. The boys shared a double and I had the baby bed. It was fine.

and yes my two spend any spare time in their beds. I’m always talking to them whilst they are in bed .

OMG! I was talking about a BED. A room?! How ridiculous ofc that’s fine.

”wildly inappropriate”

in what way?

dc both have a hobby which requires regular overnight hotel stays. They’re 13 and 15. How are they supposed to travel with no parent? Under 18’s aren’t allowed to stay in a room on their own in hotels.

options are I take time off work each and every time and go with them- not possible as I don’t have enough AL, and depending on departmental demand sometimes I just can’t. So do they not go? Let their team down, stop their hobby?

or do I book a twin room and dh takes them. There’s a private bathroom for showers and changing, what’s inappropriate?

For a few nights? 🙄

I don't know tbh. I've not got teens so it's hard to say at this age. But I think I would be fine sharing with my dad, if it was twin beds and only for a night or 2. Not for a full weeks holiday or more, I wouldn't be able to relax properly, like when getting dressed etc. It would be awkward taking everything to the bathroom but fine for a day or so. I can't imagine it ever arising though so it's all hypothetical.

I’ve gone on holiday with my Dad and shared a twin room. Can’t see the issue, I’m 36!

Me, Dh, ds17 and ds13 all shared a room at my in-laws over Christmas as it was the only way we could fit in - obviously it's not ideal but inappropriate? I don't think so - it was actually quite a laugh. I wouldn't do it for more than a couple of nights though and certainly not for a whole holiday. We had an adjoining family room last year with a shared bathroom and 2 separate bedrooms. That was fine.

I think it depends on what the teenager thinks. One of mine is happy to share with me for holidays/short term reasons, but the other isn't because they need their own space. I shared a room with my dad on holiday right through my teenage years and into my 20s (he used to take me on business trips abroad so I stayed in nice hotels and saw a lot of the world!) We respected one another's privacy (dressed in the bathroom etc) and didn't think twice about having a twin room. I'd still share with him now if the need arose.

Not Inappropriate

This is really weird.

My dad and I love a certain band and will travel all over the UK to see them in concert. Depending on what's available we will quite often share a twin room.

We get ready for bed in the bathroom, then sjt in our single beds and chat / watch tv then we go to sleep. I'm 41, he's 71.

Not sure why people would find that inappropriate.

The only one still at home is 17, she shares a room with us on holiday. We couldn't afford a holiday otherwise. We do try to get a bigger room or one with a divider and always a bed. She's absolutely fine with it, it's only for a week.

We’ve shared rooms with dc, especially if it’s a one night stay en route for a longer holiday. I probably wouldn’t’t for a long stay, but one or two nights, fine.

Out hotel next summer holiday is a family room, double and two sofa beds. Kids are 12 and don't want to be in a room by themselves yet so they don't have a problem with it. We could have had two rooms but they are both girls so DH would still have had to be with one of them. Wouldn't trust them in a room by themselves tbh. I thought this was a pretty normal family set up.

Depends alot on the child, the room, the circumstances. I said “YABU” because I didn’t want to vote for a blanket “it’s ok”.

Might be controversial but I also think it’s more likely to be ok for a mum to share with a ds than a dad to share with a Dd. But even then, I’d probably only do it when it’s a younger teen, not a 17 yo.

I think a teenager sharing a room on holiday with both parents, or with a parent and another sibling is more OK than just one parent and one other sex dc.

I shared a room with my 8 yo ds over the Christmas holiday staying with family and did remark to Dd (14) that when he’s a teenager it might be more appropriate for she and i to share - there’s a twin room much bigger than the single room in the house I’m talking about, the single room is v small so not like giving one child “higher status” iyswim

But you’re a mature adult not a 17 yo girl.

Many hotels won’t let an under 18 stay in a room without an adult, so in practice there may be no choice. And what about a cabin on an overnight ferry, sleeper train etc? Depending on the number and sex of your children there may be no other option but to share with a parent of the opposite sex.

I don’t see the problem - you can always get changed into PJs in the bathroom.

Not everyone is able to double their hotel bill, paying for two rooms when one would suffice! When we've been to Uni open days etc, of course we share: why would I pay out £200 for two Premier Inn rooms when I could pay £100 for one?
If there is the option of a twin room, then I would take that over a double, but frankly the teen is fortunate that they're being taken away at all, and I wouldn't listen to any complaints about needing privacy.
For a longer trip, then yes, I would look for two bedroom accommodation, if it existed in my budget.

it's a hotel room, so not likely to be a long term arrangement. I think it's totally fine. Even think sharing bed would be ok too, if necessary, so long as DC agreed.

I wouldn't have taken my two DSs to half the amazing places we went to as there was no way I could afford two rooms, or we were in a tent.
I recently shared a hotel room for a couple of nights with the eldest who is in his 20s. Can't see what the problem is.

Also had to share a room with my DBro recently when my mum died we are both mid 40s. We had separate beds but argued a fair bit, in fact it was like being children again. I like to read quite awhile before bed, he doesn't but likes to get up to run at 5am and he farted all night and stank the room out. We let my elderly aunt have the other spare room as she is in her 80s and snores loudly. Needs must.

Seriously?!
If a teen is uncomfortable with the idea, then of course it's not OK. But wildly inappropriate? Is it heck. I'm wondering if some posters are thinking about sharing a bed, not a room.

If my teenagers want the sort of holiday they want, then we all share a family room! This year I gave them the option "we can spent £600 on two bedrooms, or we can spend the £600 on additional activities" (they're both very sporty and adventurous). There wasn't even a moment of hesitation before they said "activities".

What damage are they likely to come to? I wear more to bed that I would wear round the pool! We're not having sex in front of them. An explanation of what this perceived damage is would be appreciated!

I've shared a travelodge family room with sons age 17, 15 and 11.
Also shared a twin room with 15 year old son. Never a thought about if it was inappropriate. We were hardly parading around naked in the room!!

My two would be gutted not to share a room with us. We often book a family room if we are away. Bathroom for changing & privacy & we literally just go to sleep.