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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect teens to use fucking headphones?

169 replies

chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:17

Am grumpy after a shit night's sleep. SS(16) is with us and seems incapable of using his headphones for gaming/talking to friends despite being told multiple times. Went to bed just after 11 and he still had his computer blaring out on loudspeaker so lucky me gets to hear both sides of the conversation whilst trying to sleep. What is it with kids having everything on loudspeaker? Have already endured a couple of week's WFH with him home for school holidays doing exactly the same thing whilst I'm in meetings.

AIBU to expect him to keep the fucking noise down and respect the rest of the household?

OP posts:
tealandteal · 29/12/2022 08:18

Did you ask him to use headphones?

Withholdingvitalinfo · 29/12/2022 08:20

Headphones don’t help much if they are shrieking at their mates unless you live in a castle or something.

I find treating them as adults helps - a proper sit down convo explaining how exhausted you are and that you need a proper nights sleep.

is there anywhere else in the house they can game?

FOJN · 29/12/2022 08:22

OP says she has told him multiple times.

You need to switch the router off every time the gaming disrupts the rest of the household rather than lying there feeling angry and frustrated. He'll soon get the message.

Original poster
chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:23

Husband has sat him down multiple times and asked him to use headphones. He agrees then promptly forgets the next day. I feel like I'm constantly imposing rules where he has none at his mum's. I'm always the bad guy.

OP posts:
glittermoomoo · 29/12/2022 08:24

Yell at him to shut the fuck up

Ivyonafence · 29/12/2022 08:25

DH needs to tell him to put on headphones before he pulls the plug and switches off the wifi.

What's DH doing about it?

Withholdingvitalinfo · 29/12/2022 08:27

chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:23

Husband has sat him down multiple times and asked him to use headphones. He agrees then promptly forgets the next day. I feel like I'm constantly imposing rules where he has none at his mum's. I'm always the bad guy.

You need to sit down and explain how it’s affecting you. Have an adult conversation. You don’t have to be the bad guy, you are just explaining the effects of his behaviour and asking for solutions. Perfectly reasonable.

Ivyonafence · 29/12/2022 08:27

chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:23

Husband has sat him down multiple times and asked him to use headphones. He agrees then promptly forgets the next day. I feel like I'm constantly imposing rules where he has none at his mum's. I'm always the bad guy.

The time for asking is over. Tell him that's a mandatory condition for gaming at your house.

What a selfish prat. If he doesn't learn how to treat people in ten years he'll be one of the selfish and useless DHs people post about on here.

wonderingwhatsnext · 29/12/2022 08:28

Every time he "forgets" reset the router.

Original poster
chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:31

TBH at the minute I feel like we need to be turning the router off at a set time. Fuck knows how he's going to get himself up for school next week when he's used to being up all night.

OP posts:
Survey99 · 29/12/2022 08:32

Why isnt your dh telling him to stfu or get off his game?

Why arent you telling your dh to just deal with him?

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2022 08:34

Don't understand why you're not turning off the router when her starts this shite.

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:35

Presumably you knocked on his door and asked him to turn it down?

Original poster
chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:35

@Survey99 I'm doing exactly that. But here's what happened last night. I went to bed earlier than him. Realised SS was being noisy so I texted DH asking him to tell him to be quiet. DH doesn't read the message. So 10 mins later I have to stomp downstairs and ask him again. By this time too wound up to sleep.

OP posts:
Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:35

You mean to say

you asked him politely to turn it down
and he just looked at you and ignored you?

LlynTegid · 29/12/2022 08:35

Agree with turning off the router. Your DS has been asked more than once.

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:41

Turning off the router? So everyone suffers. Not a chance.

I just can’t get my head around my teen being asked to turn it down and keep door closed and just looking at me and virtually giving me the middle finger by ignoring me.

He turns it down, or the Xbox is unplugged and taken from him until he can keep it down. Every single time the volume deteriorates, his father walks in, unplugs and removes. Rinse and repeat

GCAcademic · 29/12/2022 08:43

chocolateasaltyballs22 · 29/12/2022 08:31

TBH at the minute I feel like we need to be turning the router off at a set time. Fuck knows how he's going to get himself up for school next week when he's used to being up all night.

Why on earth haven’t you done this already?

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:43

How old is the teen?
what time was this?

Butchyrestingface · 29/12/2022 08:44

Turning off the router? So everyone suffers. Not a chance.

At 11pm when everyone else is going to bed? How so?

SleeplessInEngland · 29/12/2022 08:44

Turn off the internet FFS.

GCAcademic · 29/12/2022 08:44

Turning off the router? So everyone suffers. Not a chance.

How will everyone else suffer? It’s happening at night when they’re trying to sleep.

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:44

I can’t believe all saying turn off the router

so everyone is “punished”

no! He and he alone needs to have consequences

the Xbox is unplugged and removed by his father every time he disrespects the request to keep the noise down

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:45

GCAcademic · 29/12/2022 08:44

Turning off the router? So everyone suffers. Not a chance.

How will everyone else suffer? It’s happening at night when they’re trying to sleep.

The dh was up
any other kids around

Ursuladevine · 29/12/2022 08:45

And it doesn’t deal with the disrespect