To expect teens to use fucking headphones?

[chocolateasaltyballs22]

Am grumpy after a shit night's sleep. SS(16) is with us and seems incapable of using his headphones for gaming/talking to friends despite being told multiple times. Went to bed just after 11 and he still had his computer blaring out on loudspeaker so lucky me gets to hear both sides of the conversation whilst trying to sleep. What is it with kids having everything on loudspeaker? Have already endured a couple of week's WFH with him home for school holidays doing exactly the same thing whilst I'm in meetings.

AIBU to expect him to keep the fucking noise down and respect the rest of the household?

Tbh. Why are we looking a turning off routers, plugs etc. Just TELL them. How old is teen? Or take the play station away. If they start to look for it just TELL them it’s not coming back until they accept what you say.

They will understand. They won’t like it, how dare you tell them what to do….Not in a million years would my teens(older now) have been allowed to behave like this.

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Plus I'd have music blaring at 7am this morning. Something loud and irritating. Because I am petty

This!

I think some of ABBA's greatest hits outside his door at 7am would help you perk up after a night of disrupted sleep.

Headphones or the wifi goes off 🤷‍♀️

Well don’t see it as a parenting issue.

See it about what constitutes reasonable and civilised behaviour between two people under the same roof

Ds is also a gamer & can be very loud but is also aware that when we go to bed we don't expect to hear him so it's time to either switch off or put on headphones/tone down the chat. If we go to bed and can hear him one of us will go and give him a final warning -he knows it will be switched off there & then if he doesn't comply so 99% of the time will comply albeit with attitude if he's in a mood

Such a cop out to turn off the router

This is about disrespect and thoughtlessness. It needs to be addressed.

You and your DH make clear, no shouting, that any more shouting etc whilst gaming is unacceptable under this roof and that if it continues, the Xbox will be removed.

if the volume deteriorates, your DH walks in and unplugs and removes. It’s returned to him the following morning. Rinse and repeat every time it happens again.

oh, and surely you have a time when no gaming anyway?!

How old is he op?

@Ursuladevine
Each to their own, but not sure it is a cop out to turn off the router.
Next time, they know you mean it.
In adult life, there are consequences for actions. Tough lesson to learn. Start small, if you keep ignoring requests to keep volume down, router goes off/ device is disconnected from router.

Plus I'd have music blaring at 7am this morning. Something loud and irritating. Because I am petty

Oh don't worry I slammed all the fucking doors on the way out at 9.

Just had a row with H over it. Apparently turning router off or removing his device is 'draconian' and he wants him to take some responsibility for himself. Fine. So just make sure he does as he's told this time

FWIW it's my house, in my name. And none of them would have such a nice place to live if it weren't for me.

But the dh was watching tv

and what happens if he does during the day too when others will want to use the WiFi

it is the Xbox that needs to be removed from him. Specifically, him

Why I will never ever EVER blend families. No man and no other children than mine or moving in to the home of ME and MY children.

@Ursuladevine I think you might have misread my post - I said or disconnect his device from the router.

Anyway, have a good day.

Draconian? You have a DP/DH problem as well as a British teen on your hands

@Ursuladevine believe me, I wish I could turn back time and do things differently. But you don't know how you're going to feel until you're in the situation. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but like I said I wish I had a crystal ball.

What is stopping you leaving? Divorcing?
do you have any children from a previous relationship? Do you have any children with your husband?

this is your home and honestly… it sounds awful.

how frequently is your dss there?

Odd

Seriously, @chocolateasaltyballs22 is this a sign of something a lot deeper, according to your last post? Is it time for a re-think?

This

Wifi is a privilege, not a right

This comment alone makes me think there's more to this than one night of disturbed sleep. Is this the final straw on a long line of things?

Why do you think your situation can't be changed?

And now we're onto 'I'm fed up of you constantly telling me my kids are shit' comment. How the fuck has this been turned around onto me?

We don't have kids together. My elder teen has pretty much left home. His adult child doesn't stay here any more. I love my husband and I don't want to divorce him but this situation is making me miserable.

I honestly can’t understand how you can love someone who is happy for his wife to be profoundly unhappy in her own home as a result of his son’s behaviour

How old is your SS??

16. It's in my original post.

He sounds like one of those parents whose kids can’t be criticised. You’re fighting a losing battle. On the plus side, you own your home, so don’t have to put up with this.

Exactly. What love or respect is he showing his wife?

Just had a row with H over it. Apparently turning router off or removing his device is 'draconian' and he wants him to take some responsibility for himself. Fine. So just make sure he does as he's told this time

your H knows he's wrong. If you are constantly telling him his kids are shit (from your other post) then there is an issue that needs to be resolved.

But i'd be waking the H as well as the SS when they are trying to sleep. I'm petty and vindictive. I would take time off work to enable me to do this. Then when they're on their knees? Either they both accept that they have to behave like adults in your house, or they ship out.