To expect teens to use fucking headphones?

[chocolateasaltyballs22]

Am grumpy after a shit night's sleep. SS(16) is with us and seems incapable of using his headphones for gaming/talking to friends despite being told multiple times. Went to bed just after 11 and he still had his computer blaring out on loudspeaker so lucky me gets to hear both sides of the conversation whilst trying to sleep. What is it with kids having everything on loudspeaker? Have already endured a couple of week's WFH with him home for school holidays doing exactly the same thing whilst I'm in meetings.

AIBU to expect him to keep the fucking noise down and respect the rest of the household?

And you’ve let this go on so long without consequence because….?

You have already identified he will be tired for school if it carries on, but you said it in such a way that you seem to think it’s unavoidable?

Step in and parent perhaps?

And turning off the router

what is to stop the teen… turning it back on at 2am?

Don’t ask him.

tell him.

give him one chance, then switch the router off.

Grab the router and stuff it under your pillow.

He's my stepson. I don't see it as my job to parent him. I've commented to DH that he probably shouldn't be up all night but it's not up to me to enforce it.

Sounds like it is really a DH problem, he really needs to sort this or remove the Xbox / turn off the router.

Agree SS is being unreasonable but if it was my DS he would certainly know it was unreasonable and if he didn’t comply he’d have the Wi-Fi turned off if no one else was using it.

I was thinking that even if she sleeps clutching the router like a pillow, he may hotspot from his phone.

So the phone needs to go as well. Getting that off him will doubtless be fun, fun, fun.

<Lesigh>

I have a pin lock in the router, if dd disturbs me after one warning I lock it, she learned!

You don't need to turn off the internet or the router. Go to your router's settings on your browser and turn on MAC address filtering. That means that the router will only allow individually authorised devices on the network even after the correct password has been entered. If the device's MAC address isn't on the list of allowed devices, the device can't get online na matter what.

When SS refuses to turn volume down, you can kick his device off the network while the rest of the household continues to have access.

On some more complex routers and networks, e.g., a Ubiquiti Unifi, you can kick off a device and block it from the network even without setting up MAC address filtering.

Either way, the rest of the house doesn't need to suffer.

Depending on the make and model of your router, you may also be able to set time limits on the network access of individual devices, e.g., SS's Xbox goes offline from 9.30 pm till 7 am.

It isn't difficult - unplug the router and stick it under your bed.

I find some responses hilarious - it was at night, so not punishing anyone else by turning off the Wi-Fi.

I have taken my son's Xbox to work and left it in my office before - so he knew there was no point searching for it.

My DH was still up watching TV. Turning the router off means we have no Netflix or whatever. We watch all our TV via the internet.

Fair enough, so just remove the Xbox.

Change the password and don’t give it to him?

I have teens and ime treating teens like kids never works. Treating them like adults works part of the time.

Teens are often arseholes (this is normal) and the tricky part is making sure the adults around them don't copy/escalate/match.

Part of the issue is that you are already really pissed off so a tiny thing becomes a big thing. He shouldn't be gaming without headphones. But needs reminding. Constantly. Just keep being a broken record but don't escalate. Every time, remind him, DSS you are stopping me from sleeping, can you please use your headphones.

I have had a teen be like this over Xmas (not mine btw!)but a close relative.

Phones at the dining table and literally a pout on most of the time. In the end as parent did nothing I asked her to put her phone down whilst eating and to be fair she did. Parent said they wouldn’t have done it for them!

Just why do we take this sort of behaviour as normal? It’s disrespectful and I really don’t buy they cannot help it, addicted etc. Its a very poor excuse.

I just don’t understand why adults would let this go in tbh

So you turning the router off might make your husband more willing to parent his own child. Many people only care about something once it inconveniences them personally, unfortunately.

• You being unable to sleep = no inconvenience to your husband.
• Your husband being unable to watch TV = inconvenient to him.

Hence, he does something about son's behaviour.

Agree. Just because it’s an SS I don’t see that makes a difference. It’s your home, so set boundaries and enforce them.

It’s rude and disrespectful to behave like this. It’s not as though they are expecting an urgent call. It’s normally teen shite…..

You shouldn't need to switch the router off. You should be able to restrict the computer from accessing the internet using thr routers app. I have BT and can switch off devices individually or groups if needed and also set time restrictions. Much simpler!

Agree, turn off the router and DH will have to get off his arse and parent his selfish child.

Alternatively, change the wifi password. He can earn it back by not being a brat.

Turn off the electricity to the upstairs plugs if router is downstairs…… no more gaming upstairs husband continues to watch tv SS can join him downstairs.

This. Removing the cables is also an effective solution.
So DH doesn't get to watch Netflix, he'll be more responsive / considerate about parenting his best of a child in future.

You're right you shouldn't have to parent your step son but unless you are living rent and bill free at his fathers expense then you have every right to limit his activities where they have a negative impact on you.

Plus I'd have music blaring at 7am this morning. Something loud and irritating. Because I am petty

wifi off or cut the plugs off everything.
Don't ask him to be quiet - TELL HIM. And then make noise in his room whenever he is trying to sleep. Every time.

After asking multiple times and him "forgetting" I'd be unplugging the router and sleeping with it under my pillow.

Don't let a 16 year old ruin nights sleep for the rest of the house, how ridiculous.