To expect teens to use fucking headphones?

[chocolateasaltyballs22]

Am grumpy after a shit night's sleep. SS(16) is with us and seems incapable of using his headphones for gaming/talking to friends despite being told multiple times. Went to bed just after 11 and he still had his computer blaring out on loudspeaker so lucky me gets to hear both sides of the conversation whilst trying to sleep. What is it with kids having everything on loudspeaker? Have already endured a couple of week's WFH with him home for school holidays doing exactly the same thing whilst I'm in meetings.

AIBU to expect him to keep the fucking noise down and respect the rest of the household?

@Ursuladevine

They are already teens, and as I said earlier they're (thankfully) lovely 95% of the time! Tbh they're easier to deal with than my DD.

But - they don't live with us, they stay EOW. DD, DP and I all live together and spend the most time together hence the dynamics are totally different.

You don't need to turn off the router. You should be able to just block his device. I did this until DS got the message, and still do it because he gets FOMO in the night and will sit and read texts or whatever.

Well you’ve come out the other side and survived! 💪

@susiesuelou out of pure nosiness, do you and your dp have any children together?

Yes we have one.

That's the other thing that wound me up. Sorry but I've been stewing on this all day. He said to me that if my daughter's ever noisy he deals with it and doesn't make a 'thing' of it with me. (She just stayed with us for 10 days over Xmas and I never heard her be noisy once). Well a) I never asked him to 'deal with her' because that's my job. And b) they're completely different kids and take things differently. His son is honestly scared of his own shadow. I don't think he deliberately ignores what he's been told, he just forgets. But it's still fucking annoying and inconsiderate.

And with that I'm off to bed. He's still out. He can go fuck himself and then sleep on the sofa.

What a horrible marriage and home life OP
for all concerned
but by the sounds of it you have no intention of actually doing anything about it other than “stewing all day” on it.

So I wish you all the best and will bow out

You don't decide to leave a marriage overnight do you. People are quick to tell you to leave. And this is a one sided view of an argument, without any of the good stuff her does for me.

You haven’t really given a balanced view of any ‘good side’. You’ve ranted, been quite snippy in your replies, admitted to slamming doors in retaliation and that you let the whole episode ruin your day. Your posts are full of anger.

Yeah I accept that, sorry. I can stew on things and it's not healthy. Here are a few of the things he does for me:

Walks the dog when it's raining because he knows I hate the rain
Cooks regularly
Does more than his fair share of housework
Will drive to the pub if I want a drink
Sleeps in the spare room if he knows I'm tired and need a good night's sleep
Will do absolutely anything for my daughter (not his)

He's not a bad man. But his blind spot is his kids.

So this is a one off? Came out of no where? Otherwise all very pleasant and happy with your step children and husband?

Well no, it's not a one off. Like I said, his blind spot is his kids, and I struggle with them. Well, the one who's still at home anyway. But he's addressed it so we'll see what happens.

In OP's defence, that's normal when you're posting about a problem with your partner. You don't tend to say "I'm fuming about x and y, but here's all the lovely things he does....". When someone upsets us it's human nature to just give an overview of that aspect. I haven't RTFT so don't know whether OP was specifically asked "does he have any good points?", but if she wasn't, it wouldn't make sense for her to spontaneously include them in a rant about a specific situation that's pissed her off.

My “blind spot” is my kids

and that will never ever change. And I suspect same for your DH

The difference is, your DH’s blind spot seems to include allowing his children to be thoughtless and disrespectful not just to his wife, but at a basic “what constitutes decent behaviour”. That’s not a “blind spot”, that’s poor parenting. But if he’s always been like this… then well not much you can do about it now.

Did you ever clarify how often your SS stays over?

FWIW it's my house, in my name. And none of them would have such a nice place to live if it weren't for me.

can you imagine if a man posted this on mumsnet about his wife and SC

I think you need to read the thread

He stays over 3 nights a week. Too much, imo. I'm hoping it reduces as he gets older but he doesn't seem to want to do anything with friends (other than talk to them via a screen). I don't know if this is normal for boys, my DD is very social and was always out and about with friends when she lived at home. But he's always here.

@Ursuladevine why?

Was OP asked about the good points of her DH and chose to ignore it? Because that was the specific point I was commenting on in reference to not having RTFT.