Teenagers outfits!!!

[Gabzz212]

So am I being unreasonable to be sick to the back teeth of my 14 year old outfit choices now. Just spoke to her after she has been to town with her friend to buy 'an outfit'. Asked her please buy something appropriate for the weather she also knows I don't like stuff too revealing anyways she has been and bought some £30 nike pro shorts and a hoodie. I'm pissed. I was supposed to take her trusted her on her own and this is what she buys? All the time we are arguing over her outfits she wears sports bras as tops and always has tiny short, tiny crop tops on and big lashes. I'm sick of it I feel like she has no respect for herself and really don't understand why she always wants to have so much on show. I think she's too young and it also sends out the wrong message. My stepfather actually said to my mum after we had been for a visit last week that he didn't even feel like speaking to her as he didn't know wear to look and felt quite uncomfortable. I try and explain its not good to dress this way all the time but get nowhere. AIBU to feel quite upset and stressed over this situation?

'Parent doesn't approve of teenagers clothing choices shock'. Hold the front page.

Please don't pick this fight. It won't go well. She won't change for you. And you may give her all kinds of body image hang ups.

It sounds like Average teenage apparel round here.

if she gets cold then shes cold.

Ew at your step dad.

Nike Pro shorts and a hoody sounds like typical 14yo girl attire. Yabu.

To start the it’s not your dd’s responsibility to dress so your stepfather feels comfortable. He’s an adult, and it’s perfectly possible to have a civil conversation with a child in a bikini even without feeling like you are looking at that child in a sexual way.

what is the “wrong message” she’s sending out?

let her get on with it. Nike shorts and a hoodie is fine. It’s not even revealing. Bit cold for this time of year maybe, but she’ll soon learn.

leave her be. She needs to develop her own style. You imposing middle aged fashion on her will not help.

Why were you pissed? Maybe once you've sobered up you'll think differently.

Your attitude is terrible towards your daughter and her choice of clothes. And your stepfather is utterly vile too.

Why have you not had a word with him and his disgust rather than insisting on your daughter moderating her choice of dress so she doesnt upset the grown man who cannot help but stare at her and that being her, apparent fault?

Part of being a teen is experimenting with fashion and she is definitely not the only one dressing like it.

It's your inherited mysoginistic views that need to change along with your Stepdad inability to control his stares. That's the behaviour that needs calling out, not an outfit.

Urgh, your step dad is vile. Your attitude is odd also. What's up with Nike Pro shorts for a 14 yo? So what if she's cold, she'll learn.

Ugh at your creepy arsed stepfather.

I'd be more concerned about him than a teenager choosing fashionable clothes.

Sounds like an average many girls - including me - I know were having with their parents as teenagers 30 years ago.

You seem irrationally wound up about what is a normal teenage phase and I can't even see what is wrong with the hoodie anyway - surely that isn't revealing?

Hoodie and Nike Pros is pretty standard teen dress. DD is 16 and I do ask her to make sure they stay as shorts and not hoiked up to look like knickers.

In my experience it’s not a hill you want to die on. She’ll just become sneaky and change when she’s out. She also won’t feel you understand her and that leads to lack of communication.

I always told DD that in a fair world we should be able to walk around naked and not risk any harm. But sadly we don’t live in a fair world and dressing certain ways in certain areas of town for example can pull in attention she doesn’t want from bad people. It’s a sad conversation I’ve had to have with her. But it’s reality.

Aside from that advice I’ve always let her choose her own style and so far so good. Some outfits hurt my eyes and some make my eyes twitch but she’s her own person and it’s not my body.

My biggest battle now is getting her to wear a coat or enough layers but ultimately she still decides.

Your stepdad is out of line

Your step dad is very creepy.

You need to adjust your views on what your Dd is wearing - she’s a teen experimenting with fashion. They should be able to do this without creepy old men feeling “uncomfortable” and not knowing where to look.

Your stepdad is creepy and your attitude is odd. Nike pros and a hoody is the trend. That's what teens do. And they don't wear coats and don't feel the cold. I'd pick a different battle.

Not sure why the step dad is getting a bashing here (well I do, he is male, enemy number 1 on here for some)

My niece is 13 and dresses similarly, has 32DD boobs and I even feel a bit uncomfortable around her as her tops mean her tits are essentially out at all times, it’s pretty hard not to feel uncomfortable around her and that’s as a woman with kids myself.

But saying that you’ll never win this fight OP, it’s the fashion these days so it’s even less likely you’ll win.

You can however stop funding clothing purchases, logical consequences and all that

I mean I’d be freezing in those but teenagers are a different breed

Many teens wear that. It's all in the shops, all over the social media they look at...its normal she wants to wear what most wear.

It's also normal to be 14 and spend your money on shite. It's how you learn.

My father used to near have a stroke when I'd wear short skirts, fishnets and dr martens but that's what teens do.

This. YABU and a bit ridiculous @Gabzz212. Go shopping with her and buy something you deem "appropriate" and then it's in the wardrobe if she needs it.

Why are you sexualising a child instead of calling out your creepy stepdad?

I’m sick of young girls being told to coverup because grown men are perverted

I can kind of see step dad's view myself, my own step daughter is the same, lashes, nails, boobs out, shorts hoiked up and belly out. Yes we were all rebellious but 14 is young and who wants to see everything out.

You need to be having a word with your step dad not your daughter.

My 13 year old DS dresses in a way I don’t quite get. It’s supposed to be that way. They had mufti (non uniform day) just before school broke up when it was very cold and he wanted to go out in -7 in a t shirt and a body warmer. All I could do was gently shake my head and ask him if he’d please stick a hoodie in his bag.

All his female friends dress like your DD. I think it’s great they dress for comfort. No stupid heels and squeezing into restrictive jeans. Nice comfy sportswear and trainers that won’t wreck their feet. Good on em.

Pick your battles, you are never going to get her to change her entire wardrobe. If there is one thing you really think is too much explain why eg a crop top at school or work.

But bra tops generally are standard teen wear. Shorts and a hoodie aren’t revealing. Teen girls experiment with clothes, they always have.

Your stepdad is being a slimeball. Next time he says that tell him he’s giving you the ick. You look at a person’s eyes/face most of the time, whatever they are wearing.

Yabu
How can you feel embarrassed taking to someone in a hoody ffs Where does your stepfather look when talking to you? If it's your face like 99.9% of humans, does he even register what she's wearing on the bottom half of her body?
The look you describe is pretty common round here too. I would be freezing but teens wearing fewer layers is very common