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Original poster

In laws cleaned our house while away....

465 replies

ohnnoclean · 28/12/2022 08:22

We were away for Christmas. In laws have our key for emergencies. The night before we left, in laws came round. I was in the middle of packing and a lot of things were everywhere ( but the house wasn't actually dirty ).

MIL kept saying, ' don't worry about cleaning the house before you leave, you won't have time '.. ( she's been asking me whether I was packed to go for about a week before I left. I don't pack a week early. I tend to pack the day before and I always manage fine. I travel a lot and always have and have traveled with my kids a lot too, so I do know what I'm doing..

Anyhow, the house wasn't dirty, there was just clothes everywhere as I was packing. MIL kept repeating I should not worry about cleaning.. kind of annoyed me, as it wasn't dirty. But OK.. I ignored it. She then said she'd come and clean while we were away. I said no don't worry at all, it's not dirty..

Of course, we got back and it's clearly been cleaned a bit ( fridge has been cleaned, for example ). Of course I'm grateful and I've said thanks. But I'm really uncomfortable with it. I assume she thinks I'm a dirty cow of course. Just the way she kept saying I shouldn't worry about cleaning - when it wasn't really dirty. The fact she was here when we were not here and the fact I had declined the offer of her cleaning my house.. it's annoyed me. I won't start a fight over it, but next time we go away, this can't happen.

OP posts:
MarshaMelrose · 31/12/2022 11:36

isthewashingdryyet · 28/12/2022 08:40

I went batshit when mine did this, it is rude, controlling and shows she thinks our way of doing things is not good enough. Just awful boundary crossing.

luckily her son my DH agreed, backed me up and she never touched a thing in the house again unless asked to do the job.

we then started on the garden, and I made her replant some weeds she decided we didn’t need. How dare anyone else comment on what grows in someone’s garden. My pets ate those weeds

I made her replant some weeds

You're batshit.

toomuchlaundry · 31/12/2022 11:40

If she had pulled up flowers or vegetable plants would you think she was wrong to get her to replant them @MarshaMelrose? These weeds were grown for her pets, so not a nuisance plant for that poster

AliceOlive · 31/12/2022 16:54

MarshaMelrose · 31/12/2022 11:36

I made her replant some weeds

You're batshit.

Show quote history

I’m thinking something like milkweed that attracts butterflies and bees.

I cut down what I thought were weeds at my cousin’s house years ago. I would not do that again, to anyone.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 31/12/2022 17:14

I spent 10 years cultivating a moss path in my garden and a neighbour took it upon herself to eradicate it when she was collecting my mail whilst i was helping a sickly relative.

They have never been invited back and never will be. To make matters worse, the starter moss was from my late parents' property.

People need to keep their meddling hands off others' business.

AliceOlive · 31/12/2022 19:35

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 31/12/2022 17:14

I spent 10 years cultivating a moss path in my garden and a neighbour took it upon herself to eradicate it when she was collecting my mail whilst i was helping a sickly relative.

They have never been invited back and never will be. To make matters worse, the starter moss was from my late parents' property.

People need to keep their meddling hands off others' business.

I would have cried! Have you started it again?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 31/12/2022 21:01

@AliceOlive

Thanks; yes i cried, and I'm not normally one to do so.

I'm nurturing it back but it will be a long slog. Begging moss bits from everyone i encounter!

AliceOlive · 31/12/2022 21:03

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 31/12/2022 21:01

@AliceOlive

Thanks; yes i cried, and I'm not normally one to do so.

I'm nurturing it back but it will be a long slog. Begging moss bits from everyone i encounter!

Have you heard that brushing buttermilk on the surface will help loss grow? I never tried it but it might be worth a shot.

LoisLane66 · 02/01/2023 02:47

Glad my in-laws lived in Australia. I certainly don't give ANYONE keys to my home and would be VERY p'd off if anyone started tidying, so I never do it to others. When our children left home they relinquished the keys and I never visit without a clear invitation to do so and I stay in a guest house or nearby hotel - my choice.

Ladysodor · 02/01/2023 18:10

Unless this is part of a bigger picture then I’d just assume she was trying to do something nice for you.

Flyingskunk · 02/01/2023 19:13

I’ve had loads of problems with my MIL and this sort of thing and it’s about boundaries. Lots of you saying oh well when I’ve been visiting I’ve done this and that. She wasn’t visiting she let herself into her house without permission. She could have asked DS.
My MIL used to do my ironing a bit if vacuuming etc and it was great. But she started going in my bedroom, making my bed, reorganising my clothes. Her main purpose seemed to be tidying rather than cleaning and would ignore obvious jobs that needed doing like dusting and instead reorganise my kids rooms.it got overbearing and controlling,
She let herself into our house when we were on holiday and reorganised our spare bedroom that was a junk room while we decorated.
She left the lounge covered in dust though and food going off in the fridge.
I hated her going in my bedroom but she continued to do it every week which would mean I felt like I had to tidy before I went to work.
I was mortified when I came home and a pair of dirty knickers were neatly folded on my bed.
(They been caught in my PJ bottoms)
Trees have been cut, flowers planted, curtain poles installed, my sons hair cut all without permission!

caringcarer · 02/01/2023 19:40

I'd kiss my MiL if she did this for me.

changeme4this · 03/01/2023 02:12

As long as they didn’t go into my office desk drawers or bedside table, then I don’t mind at all if someone wants to run the vac y around, clean windows/bathrooms etc they can knock themselves out!

you don’t have to be a grub for someone close to want to help out in some small way… try leaving a list next time.

nalabae · 03/01/2023 02:14

This reply has been deleted

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IneedanewTV · 03/01/2023 11:43

caringcarer · 02/01/2023 19:40

I'd kiss my MiL if she did this for me.

Same here

MarshaMelrose · 03/01/2023 12:40

Flyingskunk · 02/01/2023 19:13

I’ve had loads of problems with my MIL and this sort of thing and it’s about boundaries. Lots of you saying oh well when I’ve been visiting I’ve done this and that. She wasn’t visiting she let herself into her house without permission. She could have asked DS.
My MIL used to do my ironing a bit if vacuuming etc and it was great. But she started going in my bedroom, making my bed, reorganising my clothes. Her main purpose seemed to be tidying rather than cleaning and would ignore obvious jobs that needed doing like dusting and instead reorganise my kids rooms.it got overbearing and controlling,
She let herself into our house when we were on holiday and reorganised our spare bedroom that was a junk room while we decorated.
She left the lounge covered in dust though and food going off in the fridge.
I hated her going in my bedroom but she continued to do it every week which would mean I felt like I had to tidy before I went to work.
I was mortified when I came home and a pair of dirty knickers were neatly folded on my bed.
(They been caught in my PJ bottoms)
Trees have been cut, flowers planted, curtain poles installed, my sons hair cut all without permission!

Does she live in North West England? What she's doing on Thursday?

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