To ask if I'm completely insane in thinking this could work?

[windyerneckin13]

Hi

Start a new job soon, full time 4 day week 8am-6pm. 2 days at home, 2 days in the office. 1 of the work from home days I'll have my 2 year old with us (partner also works home full time).

We tried nursery recently for a couple of months 2 hours a day but 2y/o never settled and just cried from the second they saw the building until the second we picked him up. We can't afford normal childcare so having him at home that 1 day is our only option. Grandparents will be having him the other 3 days.

I'm having a last minute panic that I'll not be able to pull this off. Work know that he'll be here and my partner will always be here so that we can take turns. Work is flexible in that I can make up a couple of hours once toddler is in bed if needs be.

Please help....am I a nutter for thinking this can work? Any experience of doing similar? Unfortunately we can't really afford for me to drop to part time unless absolutely necessary.

It’s Flissy 😘

& likewise ….

@SouthwarkSwish except I haven't ignored anything at all, have I?

OP, you’ve listened to some really helpful advice on this thread. Good luck with everything.
Please ignore posters like @FlissyPaps who have nothing better to do with their lives than insult, judge and argue - they seem to do it on every thread they’re on.

this. Killed. Me. 😂😂😂😂😂

Thank you @Aftersevens

Well you're still considering it, despite everything...

@SouthwarkSwish I'm not though, as I've said plenty on here I'm going to look into get them into childcare or going part time. Other than mentioning the possibility of trialing it with a KIT day when someone else suggested it. However, I'm not going to do that.

You’ve made it into the daily fail op.

Cunts haven’t published my comment tho 😂

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin great 🤦‍♀️

Genuinely sorry about that @windyerneckin13 they are a bunch of twats

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin it's a wonder they're still in publication/online if this is what they choose to write about

You’re a nutter for taking payment from your company while you’re looking after your child. What do your workmates think - I wouldn’t like it if I was paying childcare while you’re having the luxury of not bothering. Two year olds need a LOT of attention - you can’t do both.

I think it's totally doable! Feel free to dm me if you want a sensible discussion on my experience with wfh with three kids.

The first 6 years of a person are the most important ones. The way we’re brought up during those 6 years will impact us in how we behave in adulthood. You might not remember how your parent was Ignoring you because they had to work but this will def make them feel alone at the time and make them insecure

What for 4 hours per week? Absolutely ridiculous catastrophising…. Grow up

Wait the pp I was referring to wasn’t 4 hours. Grow up yourself

Also op is not 4h a week. It’s 1 day a week if you don’t give a shit about your child’s well-being then it’s your problem not mine

It’s half a day each split between her and her husband…. And I should hope you don’t care about my child’s well-being. I certainly don’t care about yours.

It's half a day each for op and DH = One whole day for poor child.

@windyerneckin13 I see you are in NI. You seem shocked by how the thread has gone. Have you posted on MN before?

I grew up in NI but came to study in England at 18 and have lived here ever since. We have a young son.

Attitudes to inter-generational familial support for child rearing are VERY different here from what they are in NI. The culture in England is also less kid-friendly in general.

we have no regular grand parental support as our parents live 500 miles away. My parents in law haven’t seen our son in person for getting on for 18 months.

As I’m sure you’re aware, you’re very lucky to have that family support. I am another one thinking that looking after a 2YO while also trying to work 0800-1800 will result in your short changing both your employer and your child. Plenty HAD to do it in lockdown and wouldn’t go back there for all the tea in China.

Please listen to them because they know how stressful and awful that experience was. Luckily, I haven’t had to do that as we can afford childcare and our son has thankfully settled easily, but I would probably have had a breakdown if I had had to do it.

One of us is being extremely thick here and if it’s me I’ll hold my hands up but my understanding is child spends four hours with daddy playing while mummy works then four hours with mummy while daddy works. Poor child, that’s alot more attention than the kid will get at its local nursery.

Except we all have been in a pandemic and many of us have wfh with kids at home and know how things work. Meetings arise when you thought you Didn’t have any. Someone is in slack asking you questions and they need an answer now. Whilst you picture a happy mum playing with their child I see an stressed mum trying to balance pretending she’s happy playing with the child whilst her mind is in that email she’s just received and needs an answer soon or a problem that has arise in the team and it cannot wait until the time dad can pay attention to it in the evening when the child is asleep.

I thought they were both working for 8 hours a day and "sharing" child care at the same time.

@Piglet89 I have though not on AIBU. Was mostly shocked by the stick I got for MIL doing the childcare to allow us both to work when it was completely her choice and nothing to do with us.

Thank you for your reply. Definitely no longer entertaining the idea of juggling both unless absolutely necessary now and again.

You need to keep trying nursery. They will get used to it. Eventually