Page 11 | To ask if I'm completely insane in thinking this could work?

windyerneckin13 · 2022-12-27T20:05:01+00:00

Hi Start a new job soon, full time 4 day week 8am-6pm. 2 days at home, 2 days in the office. 1 of the work from home days I'll have my 2 year old with us (partner also works home full time). We tried nursery recently for a couple of months 2 hours a day but 2y/o never settled and just cried from the second they saw the building until the second we picked him up. We can't afford normal childcare so having him at home that 1 day is our only option. Grandparents will be having him the other 3 days. I'm having a last minute panic that I'll not be able to pull this off. Work know that he'll be here and my partner will always be here so that we can take turns. Work is flexible in that I can make up a couple of hours once toddler is in bed if needs be. Please help....am I a nutter for thinking this can work? Any experience of doing similar? Unfortunately we can't really afford for me to drop to part time unless absolutely necessary.

MusicstillonMTV · 28/12/2022 11:18

I think for one day a week it is doable without being neglectful - I personally wouldn't want to but we have friends who do it once a week. Their schedule is something like:

She works 7-10am while her husband looks after the child
10-11:30 she takes her out to the playground or a toddler group
11:30-12 lunch for everyone
12-2 nap
2-3 TV/movie time - one of them in the room working
3-4 he takes her out to the library
4-5 her dinner
5-7 family time
7-9 catch up on work

They are basically tag teaming all day not just working and neglecting her

TerraNostra · 28/12/2022 11:18

Sherbetdip123 · 28/12/2022 00:53

You’re very funny 🙄

Quite clearly one of those people who cannot fathom the idea of children being helpful in having them as company or in their own wee ways. I mean life skills can begin from the early years given that children learn more in the early years than they do at any other time of their life. I am a mother of 3 and each of my children are very capable in their abilities to help in various ways. Not only that but they are seeing their mum work hard to provide for them which doesn’t include time away from them. My career is within the education industry however I chose to file a career break (position is safe for my return) to spend as much time as possible with each of the kids before they began/begin preschool and school.

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So do you work or did you take a career break?! And you still haven’t explained what exactly your 16-month old is doing to help you with your work? Just wondering as perhaps OP could ask for her 2 y.o. to be put on the payroll and at least earn his keep?

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 11:21

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 11:08

@FlissyPaps nobody was suggesting he would be on his own though were they. He prefers playing with his toys on his own, runs off screeching if we try to get involved unless it's with cooking, painting etc.
Plus husband is here and has been helping me with both kids over Mat leave so it's not a massive stretch to have thought for 1 day it might be possible to do both.

If you and your husband are to work from home, key word here is WORKING, your attention would be on your work, away from your son, he would be alone.

It doesn’t matter if he prefers to play alone with toys, he will still be unsupervised whilst you work. Which is neglect.

Your whole outlook on this is shocking. It is really poor parenting. I am horrified and saddened reading your posts. I will state again, nothing justifies this. Nothing.

Parents either sacrifice a wage in order to be SAH parents to properly care for their children, or they sacrifice their time with their children in younger years in order to earn a wage to pay for private childcare so their children can be properly looked after.

I agree with you @IneedanewTV completely.

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 11:27

@FlissyPaps but he wouldn't be alone as we would be in the same room as him at all times.

I've also said the option of my dad taking him for an or 2 in the morning is there that one day a week and my husband and I would tag team the day so that we weren't just focusing on work and not our son. But in any case "really sad to read your posts" have you not read the ones where I've clearly said I've taken all opinions onboard and will look into childcare or part time instead of considering this one day a week of keeping him home with us? I can assure you my son is very very well cared for and will be regardless of my work set up in the end.

OP posts:

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 11:35

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 11:27

@FlissyPaps but he wouldn't be alone as we would be in the same room as him at all times.

I've also said the option of my dad taking him for an or 2 in the morning is there that one day a week and my husband and I would tag team the day so that we weren't just focusing on work and not our son. But in any case "really sad to read your posts" have you not read the ones where I've clearly said I've taken all opinions onboard and will look into childcare or part time instead of considering this one day a week of keeping him home with us? I can assure you my son is very very well cared for and will be regardless of my work set up in the end.

Being in the same room but having your attention on your work is still neglect.

Why do you keep trying to justify neglecting your child?

To answer your title. To ask if I'm completely insane in thinking this could work?. Yes. Personally, I think your completely insane. And cruel.

It’s just not fair to leave a 2 year old to play alone whilst your attention will be on a laptop/computer.

Having no stimulation or attention shown by a parent because they choose to focus their attention on working.

I've also said the option of my dad taking him for an or 2 in the morning is there that one day a week and my husband and I would tag team the day so that we weren't just focusing on work and not our son

This still doesn’t justify neglecting your son.

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 11:39

@FlissyPaps hardly neglect if we're both here and can take it in turns between work and childcare is it though.

OP posts:

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 11:43

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 11:39

@FlissyPaps hardly neglect if we're both here and can take it in turns between work and childcare is it though.

Then what is the point of this thread?

Sherbetdip123 · 28/12/2022 11:46

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Sherbetdip123 · 28/12/2022 11:50

TerraNostra · 28/12/2022 11:18

So do you work or did you take a career break?! And you still haven’t explained what exactly your 16-month old is doing to help you with your work? Just wondering as perhaps OP could ask for her 2 y.o. to be put on the payroll and at least earn his keep?

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Ps….If you do have children do they attend your business or are they passed around others to care for them?

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:01

@Sherbetdip123 it's mad how toxic and crazy this place is! didn't think this thread would take this sort of turn.

OP posts:

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:03

@FlissyPaps obviously the point was to help me make a decision on work and my child which if you have read my posts as you say you have I clearly have made that decision based on what other people have said here.

OP posts:

Angeldelight81 · 28/12/2022 12:04

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:01

@Sherbetdip123 it's mad how toxic and crazy this place is! didn't think this thread would take this sort of turn.

This thread names, pulling in now, there is absolutely no justification for the personal attacks on the OP and other the posters. Ask for it to be deleted.

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:08

Angeldelight81 · 28/12/2022 12:04

This thread names, pulling in now, there is absolutely no justification for the personal attacks on the OP and other the posters. Ask for it to be deleted.

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Wow. People more concerned over “personal attacks” on the OP then the supervision and welfare of her child.

I agree how utter toxic this is. Anyone sticking up for the OP should be ASHAMED.

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:11

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:03

@FlissyPaps obviously the point was to help me make a decision on work and my child which if you have read my posts as you say you have I clearly have made that decision based on what other people have said here.

Needing strangers on the internet to help you make a decision on your own child’s welfare is crazy.

You as a mother should know how to safeguard and supervise your child whilst he’s in your care.

You know your initial thinking is completely insane. That’s why you’ve put it as a title.

You just wanted posters for agree with you and justify that not having your child in nursery/in child care whilst you work is a good way of saving money.

Mind blowing.

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:12

@FlissyPaps the way you're going on you'd think I'd asked if I could leave my 2 year old in the house on his own while I go off on holiday ffs. Wise up.

OP posts:

Angeldelight81 · 28/12/2022 12:14

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:08

Wow. People more concerned over “personal attacks” on the OP then the supervision and welfare of her child.

I agree how utter toxic this is. Anyone sticking up for the OP should be ASHAMED.

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precisely the kind of pathetic post that needs removing. Permanently.

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:14

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:12

@FlissyPaps the way you're going on you'd think I'd asked if I could leave my 2 year old in the house on his own while I go off on holiday ffs. Wise up.

Wise up on what?

Youve said countless times you think this is okay because your son enjoys playing on his own

Crack on.

It’s the child I feel sorry for.

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:14

@FlissyPaps actually no I wasn't at all looking for people to agree with me. If I was i wouldn't have bothered saying I was going to look into childcare would I? My child is and will always be safe thank you.

OP posts:

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:15

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Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:17

@FlissyPaps I haven't though have I? I've just said he prefers playing on his own than have us join him. That's a fact not once have I said it's okay for me to work because of that.

I've just said that this work pattern is an option and I was looking to see if anyone else has managed it.

OP posts:

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:19

@FlissyPaps seriously? Get a grip.
I'm not under any circumstances leaving my child unsupervised and never was planning to.

OP posts:

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:21

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:17

@FlissyPaps I haven't though have I? I've just said he prefers playing on his own than have us join him. That's a fact not once have I said it's okay for me to work because of that.

I've just said that this work pattern is an option and I was looking to see if anyone else has managed it.

If you’re so sure your son will be well cared for and supervised then why are you so defensive?

If your son will have one of his parents full attention at all times whilst you’re both working then what is the point of this thread? I don’t get it. What is the issue?

You must agree with me that it is horrifying and upsetting to read about a 2 year old that will be left alone to play whilst both parents’ attention will be on their work. Surely you agree that’s neglectful?

But as you say now, that won’t happen. As you will “tag team”. So what exactly is the issue???

Original poster

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:22

@FlissyPaps also how does any of this make me irresponsible or selfish? It's one day a week and I've said numerous times I will now look into childcare.

OP posts:

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:22

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:19

@FlissyPaps seriously? Get a grip.
I'm not under any circumstances leaving my child unsupervised and never was planning to.

Carry on being defensive.

It just makes you look dafter.

FlissyPaps · 28/12/2022 12:23

windyerneckin13 · 28/12/2022 12:22

@FlissyPaps also how does any of this make me irresponsible or selfish? It's one day a week and I've said numerous times I will now look into childcare.

Leaving a child alone whilst your full attention is on your work computer/laptop is irresponsible and selfish.

Clearly you don’t have the emotional intelligence to grasp that.

I've said numerous times I will now look into childcare.

Great stuff. Will be a lot better for yourself, your colleague and your son.