To ask if I'm completely insane in thinking this could work?

[windyerneckin13]

Hi

Start a new job soon, full time 4 day week 8am-6pm. 2 days at home, 2 days in the office. 1 of the work from home days I'll have my 2 year old with us (partner also works home full time).

We tried nursery recently for a couple of months 2 hours a day but 2y/o never settled and just cried from the second they saw the building until the second we picked him up. We can't afford normal childcare so having him at home that 1 day is our only option. Grandparents will be having him the other 3 days.

I'm having a last minute panic that I'll not be able to pull this off. Work know that he'll be here and my partner will always be here so that we can take turns. Work is flexible in that I can make up a couple of hours once toddler is in bed if needs be.

Please help....am I a nutter for thinking this can work? Any experience of doing similar? Unfortunately we can't really afford for me to drop to part time unless absolutely necessary.

Hi op, only you know your workplace and if they’re writing it into your contract they’re obviously ok with it.

My main concern (having ‘worked’ with a 15 month old at home over lockdown) is that you will end up being completely burnt out as you’ll always be playing catch up with work after your DS is in bed.

I still work for the same company and we have always had a ‘no meeting day’ one day a week so one day each week internal meetings of any kind are avoided and frowned upon

We've had similar in my organisation (tho the nature of my role means this is not as possible now)

I'm not disputing the arrangements in your company but the reality of people juggling actual childcare & work (it's not just about meetings, it's about responsiveness - if someone sends an email at 930 needing a quick answer, and most people are working, say, 9 - 5, there's a reasonable chance it'll be replied to in the working day. If everyone is spreading hours between 7 a.m. & 9 p.m., for example, that's so much harder to achieve, and it does impact on output. I saw it in lockdown, but of course then there really was no other option) is that it affects ab organisation's optimum performance.

I say that as someone who does also juggle kids / work (single parent) but my kids are 11, 13, 15 so require no immediate care, but I will pop out to give a lift or have a quick chat on my wfh days. Even with that I find it challenging to mix 'work' & 'parent' roles (but really glad it's an option for me!)

you will end up being completely burnt out as you’ll always be playing catch up with work after your DS is in bed.

That's a very good point too.

@HerMajestysRoyalCoven

That's interesting.

The other point - more generally about wfh, not just regarding childcare too - is that colleagues feel their response or input is more discretionary. We have a 60/40 split (on-site / home). On the on-site days, colleagues respond - and initiate! - much more promptly and proactively - I mean, of course, they are sitting at their desks, working, unless at lunch. On wfh days, the response times & level of engagement can (not always) be slower.

I know it myself. I have to very consciously plan my day, allowing little breaks where I am happy to put on a wash, make a personal call, while ensuring I'm genuinely as engaged in my work as I would be on-site.

I'm all for wfh, and it's great that people now have those little moments of flexibility but it's certainly something that needs review over time.

Sorry, I've derailed OP's thread a little with this segue way!

I suppose it depends on the role but my work wouldn’t have been completed by anyone else. I had my own clients that I did work for as did others and they were long term projects. It requires very little to no involvement from others internally. I think people are struggling to imagine different roles. I can see that this wouldn’t work in my partners current role but it did in his last one.

OP, before you make a decision could you test it out for a couple of days - I know you're not working but could you pretend for a day and test it with your OH and how everything goes? You'll then guage how your child reacts etc.

Just a thought....

@Frosty1000 I probably could. I still have a few kit days left so could trial it that way before I start back properly.

Then you need to raise it with your manager or HR if it’s having an impact on your role. Others may feel the same and the company don’t know it’s not working if no one raises it as an issue. Presumably if people are unhappy, they’re leaving. Has staff turnover increased? Do they do regular engagement surveys? Are these showing that staff are unhappy? If it is working for the company as a whole, it may just not be the right company for you.

It works for our company as well as me personally for those couple of years and it may work for the OP too. I just wanted to provide an example for OP that it can work. It’s fairly obvious it won’t work for all.

😂 Keep moaning then. Doesn’t sound very pro active to me. It’s a public forum and people will write what they like. You are free to ignore. I’m not really the sort to whinge and do fuck all about the issue but I know the type. Maybe that’s why I’m happy at work. 😉 And some miserable fuckers just like to cause an issue for others, let’s not forget.

MY point is, it can and does work for many individuals and companies and OP should know that. It’s not bollocks.

Enjoy work. 🤭

Thanks @RunningRoutes for your perspective on it. I'll look into childcare for 1 day and see what happens.

My partner managed it OP, with 2 kids, 2 days a week. And he got 2 promotions in that period so the company were obviously happy with him. If you can trial it with your kit days, that sounds ideal as it will give you a chance to see what it will be like. Good luck.

Thank you @AlwaysArty 🙂

I’d like to hear how your children felt about it and the attention their parent was giving them.

I dread to think what these children's communication and social skills are going to be like once they reach school age.

Yet another AIBU where the vast majority clearly think you ARE insane, yet you ignore it anyway

Theyd be too little to remember wouldn’t they

Except she’s said multiple times that she will take it on board and is looking into getting childcare? How is that ignoring?

the remainder of the thread has been about people questioning why her employer would sanction WFH with a child there, and her explaining that they genuinely have. That doesn’t mean that she’s insisting she will do it.

I’m just here to find out how 16 month-olds can help with work as suggested by a pp, but apparently asking a straightforward question is the shortcut to releasing a torrent of abuse 🤷‍♀️

Yep. And posters try and claim others to be “nasty” and “sticking the boot in” when you highlight how irresponsible and selfish the OP’s idea is.

Not necessarily. It’s not about them being able to remember, it’s about them not receiving adequate attention and stimulation they require during crucial early years for their development.

If there’s one thing, that 25 years of parenthood is taught me, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. There is no optimum time to learn to read. It’s when you learn to read, there’s no optimum time to learn to speak French there’s no point or purpose to getting a head of one’s peers. It all levels up and levels off in the end.
And the ones that tend to do best in life are not the most intelligent, they’re not the most advanced. They’re the ones with the biggest gob who were able to demand their needs are met so this could be very good training for the OP’s kids

Christ 😂

That’s all I have to say about that utter nonsense.

I don’t think Christ can help you at this stage flappy you’ve been talking shite for days.