to ask for non-judgy advice? Buying clothes for obese DD

[christmassedout]

DD8 is very overweight. We are aware and trying to tackle it.

I'm really struggling to find clothes that fit her. She needs age 9-10 for the length as she's also tall. Her belly is currently huge and out of proportion with the rest of her :( Age 9-10 jeans won't button up, but if I go up a few sizes to fit around the belly, they'll be too long and too big in the thighs, bum etc. She says elastic waistbands dig in and are too uncomfortable. Tops are less of an issue as she can just wear things very oversized, but I would like her to have some clothes that actually fit her properly.

Parents of overweight children, how do you find clothes to fit them?

Is she aware of her weight problem? Does she like vegetables and meat etc?

My weight started piling on then and no one really helped me and it’s become a 40 year issue (obviously it’s my issue to deal with now) but my mum used food as a reward.

We successfully got my 9yo son to lose weight this year just by reducing sugar - two yoghurts and a penguin a day and it made a significant difference. We told him that he needed to lose some weight to be healthier and that we’d all do it together.

Concentrate on cutting ALL junk, a diet low in processed food with loads of veg and meat and she’ll be full and lose weight.

I think it’s great your addressing it.

I’d look again at petite. I’m very petite and I wear none petite 7’8 leggings, if you think petite might still be too long you could try her in petite 7’8 or cropped leggings iyswim. Try expanding your search to include sports and gym wear for more choice in leggings.

Zalando do ONLY which is a very you petites brand.

I'd say try these with kids jumper dresses/hoodie dresses/sweatshirt dresses in a size bigger. She can still get the kiddie designs and oversized is in now.

The leggings will be ridiculously long, but you can take them in, or if she has high boots you can hide the excess fabric inside. The waist is quite high on a child so shouldn't be too uncomfortable.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fleece-Lined-Tights-Translucent-Brown-Footed/dp/B09MTD5D5G?pdrddw=HBzWF&content-id=amzn1.sym.28ecf3c0-e35d-463b-8f69-d55af961869c&pfrddp=28ecf3c0-e35d-463b-8f69-d55af961869c&pfrddr=H1NK6K1AZK78MDX2R4YT&pdrddwg=NeTPk&pdrddr=5183c6d8-d4c3-4d31-b6f8-8e71e01de896&pdrddi=B09MTFXCXP&psc=1&ref=pddbapmmgridrpp011t&th=1

Stretchy jersey dresses with an empire or dropped waistband, with tights and ankle boots. Buy in the petite or teen range and get them altered if you need to

Cropped leggings and Boden tunics or dresses in bigger sizes and take up the sleeves?

My dd was big and honestly the ladies baggy trousers from Tu at Sainsburys were a great fit. They have elasticated waists and I shortened them myself.

That gives me hope @Merryoldgoat thank you. A big part of DD's problem is definitely too much sugar.

She's starting to become aware of her size and old enough to understand the basics of healthy eating/weight, but not old enough to make those choices for herself. Her diet at her dad's is very junk and sugar heavy, he's the kind of person who can eat like that daily and still be stick thin, but she isn't. She's started to make comments about her weight. But I think she's also just physically uncomfortable at the size she is at the moment.

Do you need support dealing with her dad? If he is feeding her into obesity to this extent then you can get help. You can call social services for support with dealing with him.
They are not the big scary bad guy. You need intervention with him. He can be made to attend parenting classes and meet with dieticians etc.

It's either get support in education him or have supervised visits.

What about maternity leggings? You'll need to adjust the length, but they tend to be normal size all over except the belly.

www.asos.com/asos-maternity/asos-design-maternity-petite-over-the-bump-leggings-in-black/prd/11610463

This has a size 2 available which sounds like it would be small enough elsewhere.

Try Uniqlo

they have more relaxed simple stuff
maybe a smaller womens size ?

@christmassedout can you provide her with healthier alternatives at her dad's at least for snacks? Does she have any input at all in the food shop? Like ask for fruit or veg to be bought? Os she enjoying her diet there?

I agree with @WeepingSomnambulist ss might want to get involved at some ping anyway if you’re unable to tackle it. If he’s the weak link get in there first and ask them or school to speak to him and make him.

After pregnancy I was very overweight and had a big tummy, as I said I’m petite. I wore a lot of 7’8 leggings, converse and a baggy’ish plain T-shirt with a checked shirt over the top or as others have said a hoody. This looks fashionable but would still be age appropriate for an 8 yo. Is used to like gym leggings as they held my tum in a little.

Do not get her in maternity clothes! Or adults or boys. I was a 'sturdy kid' back 80s (although looking at the picture I look really skinny! So bizarre how times have changed) anyway.

Get her girls clothing. Get nice trainers and boots and shoes.

Dungarees jeans should fit looser
leggings fine in a bigger size and not too long. Long tops not too flouncy. I'm still sturdy and done wear draped stuff. Bigger size from Matalan and TU.

Pair of joggers with cuffs
Tights should be fine too. If they are cutting in they are too small.

Buying jeans will be really difficult.

I may have missed it, but has she seen a doctor? It seems very unusual to be reasonably slim everywhere apart from her, as you describe it, such a huge belly that even elasticated waist bands are no good. I’d want some investigations done for potential digestive issues here.

I agree with @mincepiepie about giving the jeans a miss.

I won't be buying her maternity clothes. They wouldn't fit anyway.

She's definitely not otherwise slim. She was overweight but in proportion at the start of this year. She's now obese, but all the extra weight gain seems to be belly. The best way I can describe it is like a beer gut, but it's squishy.

I'm hopeful about the Tu plus range, they are a few cm bigger than Next's.

SS are involved with her dad, although not about her weight.

Landsend.com is a US site and has good kids plus options and ships easily to the UK. Landsend.co.uk is not as good for kids plus size so make sure you use the first one. You have to pay a little more for shipping and it takes longer but once you figure out the best sizing it’s good for repeat ordering. Definitely worth a try. They often have sales so definitely don’t pay full price for your first order especially.

She will happily eat fruit, veg etc but she'll also happily eat the food being given to her at her dad's house. Sending her there with snacks wouldn't go down well.

they make a product called hem bond. You can just fold up a new seam (shorter) and iron it down. its pretty cheap and sturdy. I do this to all my jeans cause im undertall

Also their customer service is great, and the clothes are very good quality.
Take accurate measurements of your dd and look at their charts, as obviously it is a pain sending stuff back to the US.

If you can’t work with her dad to improve her diet there, I’d definitely talk to social services. Given they’re involved already do you have a caseworker you could approach?

All three of you need to work together.

I've just ordered her some bits from Lands End. Their size guide looks more hopeful than the Next plus one, so fingers crossed some of that will work for her.

Her waist is currently much much bigger than the waist measurement even the Next plus leggings in her size are designed for. There just isn't enough stretch in the waistbands for them to go round her belly comfortably.

A dress to the knee is not dowdy for 8. It gives plenty of room for growth. Altering ready made clothes can be easier than making clothes or having them made. It’s better to avoid anything fitted at the waist. Concealing the problem area is key.

Hem bond is rubbish for hemming. Machine drying makes it unstick.