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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for non-judgy advice? Buying clothes for obese DD

207 replies

christmassedout · 27/12/2022 18:13

DD8 is very overweight. We are aware and trying to tackle it.

I'm really struggling to find clothes that fit her. She needs age 9-10 for the length as she's also tall. Her belly is currently huge and out of proportion with the rest of her :( Age 9-10 jeans won't button up, but if I go up a few sizes to fit around the belly, they'll be too long and too big in the thighs, bum etc. She says elastic waistbands dig in and are too uncomfortable. Tops are less of an issue as she can just wear things very oversized, but I would like her to have some clothes that actually fit her properly.

Parents of overweight children, how do you find clothes to fit them?

OP posts:
Willowswood · 27/12/2022 21:11

Can you speak to her dad and find out what sort of food she's been eating? To see if that's the cause?

PinkFrogss · 27/12/2022 21:11

How much does she weigh?

Do you think there’s an emotional side to her overeating/body image? As that would be something you need to address as well as the physical issue of her weight.

As others have said, sounds like the best option would be to buy in sizes that fit but are too long, and learn to hem them.

If the GP is not if any help could you contact the school nurse?

AuditAngel · 27/12/2022 21:11

One thought about dresses, if she’s chubby, do her thighs rub? Mine used to. And I hated it, snag tights do their own sizing based on height and measurements, there might be something for her?

mrsconradfisher · 27/12/2022 21:13

I had a DS with exactly the same issue. He was also very very tall though so I managed to just go straight to Adult sizes.
Nike do extended sizes so that might help? Exactly the same clothes but just made slightly bigger.
I can’t quite see the problem with leggings, surely they just stretch with her? Im a size 16 but can easily wear leggings a couple of sizes smaller as they just stretch. If they are that uncomfortable on her tummy, then it might be more of a medical issue which needs investigating.
I sound like I’m being flippant but I do get it honestly. I remember a memorable shopping trip with DS sobbing cause he wanted skinny jeans the same as his friends.
I know have another DS who is completely the opposite and can’t get jeans to fit as they are all too big, I haven’t done anything differently in terms of food etc it’s just the way they are built.

Willowswood · 27/12/2022 21:17

mrsconradfisher · 27/12/2022 21:13

I had a DS with exactly the same issue. He was also very very tall though so I managed to just go straight to Adult sizes.
Nike do extended sizes so that might help? Exactly the same clothes but just made slightly bigger.
I can’t quite see the problem with leggings, surely they just stretch with her? Im a size 16 but can easily wear leggings a couple of sizes smaller as they just stretch. If they are that uncomfortable on her tummy, then it might be more of a medical issue which needs investigating.
I sound like I’m being flippant but I do get it honestly. I remember a memorable shopping trip with DS sobbing cause he wanted skinny jeans the same as his friends.
I know have another DS who is completely the opposite and can’t get jeans to fit as they are all too big, I haven’t done anything differently in terms of food etc it’s just the way they are built.

I'm a size 16-18 and live in leggings, but no way could I wear leggings a couple of sizes smaller. I'm an apple shape, and they just wouldn't fit around my tummy.

footiemum3 · 27/12/2022 21:27

You say she does lots of exercise compared to other children her age. Can I ask what she does sport wise weakly as obviously her weight will have an impact on that.

Freddiesextrateeth · 27/12/2022 21:27

Sturdy kids can be pricey bit you get stuff on ebay x

MynameisJune · 27/12/2022 21:27

My 7 year old lives in joggers, wide leg or mum style jeans, or smock dresses and tights. Oversized clothes are all the rage. What about wide leg trousers with an elasticated waist? You can take them up in length and it won’t be obvious if they’re big around her thighs/bum

mrsconradfisher · 27/12/2022 21:28

Willowswood · 27/12/2022 21:17

I'm a size 16-18 and live in leggings, but no way could I wear leggings a couple of sizes smaller. I'm an apple shape, and they just wouldn't fit around my tummy.

Show quote history

I’m exactly the same shape but I’m fine. I am very short though (I’m like a round ball!) so maybe they just come up over the bit which is uncomfortable on me.

MynameisJune · 27/12/2022 21:29

footiemum3 · 27/12/2022 21:27

You say she does lots of exercise compared to other children her age. Can I ask what she does sport wise weakly as obviously her weight will have an impact on that.

Does it matter what she does? The Op doesn’t need advice on weight loss or she would have asked for that. Your comment has under tones of you not believing the OP when she says she does exercise or activities.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/12/2022 21:31

What about high waist leggings or trousers? Ones that would go over her belly.

Also, I'd give dresses a go but with lycra tights or the super stretchy thick leggings that looks like lycra tights. I'm a size 16 and have a pair (ok I look a bit stuffed sausage in them)that also fit my healthy weight 10 yo. Yes they are very long, but we cover the excess in boots and because they're fitted and stretchy ,they mould to her body perfectly.

Everything 5 pounds has some clothes in a size 4, so you can experiment a bit without breaking the bank.

Ideally for now, I'd do dresses (jumper dresses ) and leggings/tights. Maybe some of the slouchy/loose playsuits.

Bunce1 · 27/12/2022 21:31

Nike sports leggings. Have a wide waist band that sites higher and because it’s nice and wide it shouldn’t dig in. Get her size 9-10. They should work.

I think you “know” when it’s fat or bloating. If I eat too much or too fast my tummy gets big and hard like after Christmas dinner. I was greedy and in my element. But that’s a one off. And perhaps the Dd in the case has got some bad habits with food. Eating till very full ready to pop.

Habits can be changed. Children are adaptable.

Stay away from Zara, sizing is tiny and will make uoh feel rubbish.

Cargos with adjustable inside belts from h and m?

Webbing · 27/12/2022 21:32

Op something like this gadget could be useful if you decide to shorten trousers
www.woodies.ie/jml-magic-stitch-1185837

good luck with the new healthy ways in 2023 she will do great with your support xx

LadyFushia · 27/12/2022 21:32

Have you thought about looking for a local dressmaker? You may already know someone who is handy with a sewing machine. They may be able to customise items that need a tweak, or even do a few bespoke items. It might be worth it for clothing that truly fits. My mum is a dressmaker would often do this for children like your DD.

Liorae · 27/12/2022 21:35

Webbing · 27/12/2022 21:32

Op something like this gadget could be useful if you decide to shorten trousers
www.woodies.ie/jml-magic-stitch-1185837

good luck with the new healthy ways in 2023 she will do great with your support xx

Hemming by hand is easier, faster, and looks better. Take it from this woman who has had to hem all her life😀

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/12/2022 21:36

Or these leggings from next and other stuff in the range.

www.next.co.uk/style/st401734/t19107#t19107

Check their size chart and see where she fits on it.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/12/2022 21:42

Something like this?

www.everything5pounds.com/en/Womens/Dresses/Mini-Dresses/Raglan-Sleeve-Speckled-Mini-Dress/p/722499-444659

It would obviously not be a mini on her.

BeatrixPottery · 27/12/2022 21:42

How tall is she, would women’s petite clothing work. It’s designed for heights around 5’3 and leg lengths around 26/27 inches

ReluctantCourier · 27/12/2022 21:43

I’d get a lot of plain black leggings (and get them taken up) and get the same dressmaker to make her 5 or 6 swing style dresses in basic jersey, various colours. A little capsule wardrobe. Pop a denim jacket over and some cool boots/trainers and she’d have a variety of outfits.

BeatrixPottery · 27/12/2022 21:46

Sorry just seen your post saying womens petite would be too grown up, you need to shop about more!!! ASOS have a massive petite range and most of that is, very very young.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/12/2022 21:47

Or this if her shoulders are wide enough?

www.everything5pounds.com/en/Womens/Dresses/Mini-Dresses/Long-Sleeve-Red-Swing-Dress/p/712900-422032

Original poster
christmassedout · 27/12/2022 21:50

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 27/12/2022 21:36

Or these leggings from next and other stuff in the range.

www.next.co.uk/style/st401734/t19107#t19107

Check their size chart and see where she fits on it.

Up until recently, she's been wearing the next plus fit leggings in age 9-10. I think that's a 67cm waist. Her waist has really ballooned over the last couple of months and the band doesn't stretch enough to go over her belly properly. The size she needs in the next plus size kids is equivalent to an adult 10, but she's only 140cm ish.

OP posts:
SunshineLoving · 27/12/2022 21:51

What about oversized t-shirts/jumpers with tights/leggings? This sort of style can be very flattering on women so might also compliment your DD.

Stag82 · 27/12/2022 21:51

No judgement from me, but maybe ask school if they can help free you to a healthy eating programme that the two of you can do together?

I really think that shared care can make it really hard for children to maintain healthy ideas as there tends to be twice as many celebrations that involve food… two bday / extra day trips with ice creams etc…

Stag82 · 27/12/2022 21:52

*lifestyles!