to ask for non-judgy advice? Buying clothes for obese DD

[christmassedout]

DD8 is very overweight. We are aware and trying to tackle it.

I'm really struggling to find clothes that fit her. She needs age 9-10 for the length as she's also tall. Her belly is currently huge and out of proportion with the rest of her :( Age 9-10 jeans won't button up, but if I go up a few sizes to fit around the belly, they'll be too long and too big in the thighs, bum etc. She says elastic waistbands dig in and are too uncomfortable. Tops are less of an issue as she can just wear things very oversized, but I would like her to have some clothes that actually fit her properly.

Parents of overweight children, how do you find clothes to fit them?

When DD1 was 2 she was fairly tubby and lived in leggings from Asda, as they were of a generous fit. Now she’s thinned out M&S and H&M standard range fit her well, so stay away from those.

P.S. I don’t know anything about your DD and her health etc, but as a primary teacher I’ve seen so many overweight 8/9/10 year old girls suddenly shoot up at the end of Year 6 and become gangly preteens. As I say, I know nothing about your circumstances, but just my anecdotal observation.

My mum used to make my clothes; trousers, long tops and dresses. She also used the offcuts to make matching scrunchies and head bands and dresses for my dolls. All fine until I was a teen then it wasn't cool!

My daughter also had this problem when she was younger. Really struggled to get clothes to fit, and she also had a huge belly. She's 12 now and she's hit puberty, her body is completely in proportion now thankfully.

However it was my fault she was overweight, I had all the wrong foods in the house, so I got rid of it straight away and replaced for fruit and yogurt, low sugar cereal bars etc. we reduced portion sizes and increased cardio vascular exercise, this was all supported by our GP, who said not to weigh her, but just carry on with what we were doing.

Lololol 🤣🤣🤣 poor kid
You can get cool badges, pins etc now but it's all part of a certain 'look' so kids who are a bit quirky, like a standout look but generally at 8 most want to just look like their friends or (ime) like kids they see online in influencer families 🙄🤯

Statement scarf is hilarious 😂 saw a funny prog on French style recently and all the French girls and women were laughing about the assumption all French women just throw on a scarf to pull their outfit together.
They all agreed the statement scarf thing is so dated now.

I know a mum and daughter who dress exactly the same in mum's style.
it looks great on the mum but the kids don't look like their peers, and look old before their time, like mini middle aged women.

it's cute when little to dress them in quirky clothes we'd wear like run and fly and lucy and yak style and little boden, dms, converse etc but unless its really something they would choose for themselves, frumpy mumsy clothes on pre-teens makes me feel a bit sad for them.

As well as Statement scarf, i think goks advice was to always add a belt to pull the outfit together.

Another Poster mentioned jeans, for someone who is tummy conscious please consider something with a jegging style waist rather than button and fly , those fastenings add unecessary bulk, plus really bloody uncomfortable to sit around in.

Really hope OP can help her girl find her own style and the most comfortable and flattering way to wear it.

Her friends mostly seem to wear jeans, cargo pants, or leggings with fitted tops/oversized sweatshirts. So it's bottoms that we're really struggling with.

If I'm being completely honest with myself she's probably been slightly overweight since covid started. But her weight has really gotten out of control this year. Her belly is a sticky out pot belly shape and is very loose and flabby, so anything like yoga pants with a wide waistband just looks awful.

Seconding this!

My nephew was a very large kid and my sister used to buy the men's sizes and cut the legs off...

She‘s not that big. Lots of girls wear is deliberately cut small to push kids up into women’s or teen sizing earlier. Just try lots of different brands. Some cut bigger at the waist while others cut bigger at the hip and thigh; and if she’s short waisted her tummy will need bigger sizes because it’s at an awkward place in terms of clothing.

In my experience of trying to find clothing for a tiny waisted but tall girl Joules / H&M / M&S / Zara / Boden / New Look / Next all cut big at the waist in normal clothing but are then true to size (or even below it) with jeans. For Jeans GAP, Levi kids, Ted Baker, Ralph Lauren kids cut quite big on the waist (a lot of styles are designed to be worn with belts).

Search up how to dress an apple body shape. Easiest thing is to find tops and dresses that are tighter at the top, floaty from the waist down.

Are you getting professional help with the weight loss now, or have you got access to lots of tips and resources? It can be so difficult x

😀😀 I wasn’t the smallest child and LOVED scarfs, brooches, badges. Still do 😀

If you got cropped bottoms then you can go up a size without them being too long.
Also short sleeved T-shirts are easier to fit. You can then get a zipped hoodie to wear with it, maybe left open.

Really sad re all the overweight children; if not for medical reasons. It's not their fault in the first place.

And what decade was that?

Give up on trousers and wear dresses. I used to suffer terrible abdominal bloating, and honestly, wearing loose fitting dresses were a life saver. Just so bloody comfortable.

I have also recently discovered that trousers for horse riders are not only warm and well fitting but also stretchy so super comfy ( so perhaps don’t need to give up on trousers after all).

Worth trying the boys range in these too op as boys clothing contains more material

age 11 and let her choose them. Talk about colour, fabric, fit, co ordination, check out accessories- let her really enjoy it. She is probably aware of her weight so why not also talk about which clothes are flattering on her, bring out her colouring etc. Building confidence in her will make her more confident in dealing with other people and help minimise bullying.

Everyone wants to feel special. Eating and shame are often closely linked as well so when you make her feel good about herself you help to break that cycle.

Clothes are also often security blankets for people. If she has clothes she lives and feels good in she will relax.

What do her friends wear?
Just reading full thread, seen youve posted 'she just wants to wear clothes like her friends' then thats where you start.

Sshe does not need clothes specially made as someone suggested on here, neither does it sound 'horrific' as one of them also said , it sounds more horrific to make an 8 year old beleive they can only fit into specially made clothes!

As in my previous post, if you factor in stealth exercise and as a previous poster said, make subtleshoping changes with healthy snacks available, then by the time next year's 'special occasions' happen she will be wearing clothes she loves , and feeling fab.

Measure her, ascertain her clothes size, buy what she likes online in those sizes, whether in adults, teens or kids sizes , have a fun trying on session and take it from there.

Just to say, your DD sounds exactly like me as a child in relation to body shape and I lived in jogging bottoms. When I hit puberty I was much more in proportion but still bigger than my friends. At 18/19 I lost a lot of weight ( having tried unsuccessfully throughout my teenage years to do so) and became size 6/8. Am now at 45 still a size 8/10. Don't beat yourself/ her up. I don't think my diet has broadly changed- something else has. I reckon she'll be fine. Re clothes, I'd go leggings and long tunics/ jumpers or dresses at the moment.

M and S petite leggings or jeggings

I've been told she's obese, but no professional help beyond being told to eat healthy and exercise. She does actually exercise a lot compared to most kids her age, but she's getting more and more reluctant to do that because she's finding it harder to keep up. Portion sizes and junk food has been the big problem really. Some of that is in my control but a lot of it hasn't been this year. She's spent a lot more time with her dad in the last few months because he usually lives a huge distance away, and she's gained a shocking amount of weight in that time. That won't be the case from January, so I'm going to really try and get her weight back under control.

Or the OP could simply learn to take up a hem herself. It's not at all difficult, and I am sure there are many tutorials on YouTube.

That kinda falls into the same category as having clothes made tbh.

Sorry haven't read the full thread but look at sturdykids.co.uk.

Can you get some cropped leggings or trousers a few sizes up so they're full length on her?

How about dungerees? You can get denim jean type if she wants, length more flexible as adjust at top, no tight waist band.