Drama on holiday. Aibu?

[Somethingborrowed21]

Would this upset/annoy you?

My DsD wanted to pull my DS on a sledge and I'd told her numerous times not to go too fast as it would be dangerous. Clearly she didn't listen. Went too fast, suddenly stopped and DS went flying face first and hit the snow with his face. He didn't cry but was stunned and said it really hurt his head. I panicked as I saw him face plant and worried he really hurt his head. I got annoyed but didn't shout and said I told you not to go too fast because look what's happened. She didn't ask how DS was and then stormed off and started crying. My DP followed and they sat talking for ages. Then we went back to the apartment, DsD wouldn't speak to my DS. DS kept saying DSD are you upset, it's ok don't be I'm OK. She still wouldn't talk to him. My DP is off with DS too and Me.

So me and DS are made to feel bad because DsD didn't listen and my DS faceplanted the snow hard.

Aibu to think me and DS have done nothing wrong?

How old is she? How old is DS?

How old are the children?

It sounds as though you all need to get over it. These things happen, you told them off, job done. Your partner should not be off with you. You were parenting, so should both be singing from the same hymn sheet.

All sounds like a storm in a teacup tbh and something that should be forgotten about in 10 mins!

No you didn't do anything wrong but my child doesn't like being told off even when she knows she's in the wrong. So she might be a bit off with me for a while after sometimes. But then she comes round. But it really depends on the child for which is the best way to deal with it

Let it blow over. It’s an accident and she probably feels awful whether she is putting on a brave face or not. Do something nice with your DS have fun and enjoy yourself. They will be over it by tomorrow. Enjoy your holiday

What on earth makes you think ages are not relevant enough to mention, OP?

Yes would annoy me for 3 mins. Move on, it’s no big deal. Depending on child’s age she probably couldn’t estimate what “too fast” meant and I am sure is very upset too.

The lack of kids ages on posts annoys me more than anything else on AIBU.
You should have to fill in a standard form with the essential info before posting.

How do you suddenly stop when PULLING something like that?

How old is she?

DS is 5 DsD is 11.
Yes I was over it. I cuddle DsD and said goodnight to her. Her and DS are fine now. Its my DP who is being off with me and DS. I now have to sleep on the sofa as DsD cried and is now in mine and DP room. DP didn't consult me about it either.

Sounds to me like DSD is feeling guilty. It’s making her angry and she’s lashing out. Generally, it’s probably a good idea, if she’s obviously upset, to remind her she was told, acknowledge she’s learned her lesson and reassure her it’s okay and that nobody was hurt. Perhaps that’s what your DP was doing. The feelings she has are punishment enough, usually and I would leave it to him to judge whether any further consequence is warranted.

So unless you’ve been telling her on and on how awful she is (she knows) no you’ve done nothing wrong. If you reacted strongly and made a big thing of it when your DS is actually unhurt, then that’s likely why both of them are now being “off” with you. I understand if you are very protective of your child, but despite the warnings, this was essentially a mistake on the part of your DSD and with no harm done, unless it was malicious or a regular occurrence, it should be quickly forgiven.

Your DP is a bit of a knob, isn't he?
I think, in your shoes, I'd be happier with the sofa,

Apologies, cross post. I hope “D”P gets over it, as everyone else seems to. Good luck, OP.

Siblings knock each other over. He’s hardly a baby, no harm done. You told her off, fine, she sulked a bit. Ignore it.

Your husband sounds ridiculous and I wouldn’t be be sleeping on the sofa. Get in your room and make them budge up! And if he seriously expects you to sleep on the sofa over all this I’d be out of there!

Just in case you're not aware OP, I think you've used your child's name in your first post

What the hell? You accept being forced onto the sofa? I'd be tempted to throw him and his shit onto the front lawn but I know with children you can't do that but believe me I wouldn't be thrown out of my bed that's for damn sure

YABVU because your original instruction to an 11 year old child was totally subjective, leaving both children very vulnerable, your son vulnerable to injury, and you SD in a position of having made a childish misjudgement, not of her own making, of your making, then making her feel responsible for the consequences

As adults you should of stepped in and let it happen

you don’t sound compatible anyway so much drama / your dh should absolutely prioritise his dd but you sleeping on the sofa is a dick move

id probably Question whether I stayed in this relationship tbh

I don't get the impression these children are siblings @Honeyroar, which makes a big difference.

Sounds like the problem here is your DP to be honest, OP.

I wonder what your dp's version would be. My guess is he doesn't feel you were treating his dd fairly or the same as you would treat your shared ds. Honestly, if your ds opted to be pulled on a sledge and then fell off, I wouldn't be telling off the dc pulling unless they had meant to hurt him. It is just something that happens.

Well I think you are being unreasonable re your sd. Your ds fell off a sledge and wasn't even hurt enough to cry so was it really worth a fuss? In a year or two she won't want to know your ds so let them bond whilst they can.

If you didn't think it would be safe you shouldn't have let her pull him. I hate when adults say I told you so. Don't bloody let them in the first place instead of saying I told you that would happen. They know you'd already told them no need to drive it home. There's a time and a place. But when you think she's likely to cause him unjury I don't understand why she was let.

What can I do though? DP moved DsD stuff into my bed. Don't want to cause a scene tonight.