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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel upset my inheritance is reduced

812 replies

MoMuM7 · 26/12/2022 11:18

I have very generous parents who worked extremely hard to ensure their kids were looked after. When we came of age (21) they told us how much each of us would inherit when we're turned 40. My sister asked for them to give a her a lump sum equal to her share so she could buy a house and they did that. When my brother turned 25, her asked for half of his share ao her could put down a deposit for a house and have enough cash to cover a 3 year sabbatical which they did. I haven't asked for anything as I was happy to wait till I turned 40. I started working when I was 16 so I have always been more financially secure than my siblings but im a freelancer which makes work difficult to come by and i also have 2 under 2. I'd planned to take 6 months maternity then go back to work in January but I'm shattered. My body, soul are exhausted from back to back pregnancies. I turn 40 in Feb so I was hoping to use my inheritance to take another year off, get therapy and sort my self out without financial pressure. DH works hard but his income alone won't cover us if I'm not earning.

Anyway, yesterday (Christmas!) my parents asked if they could reduce my inheritance sum as my brother 'needs it more'. He's just gone through a divorce (he cheated) and his ex-wife took him to the cleaners. His business went under during Covid and he hasn't worked in 2 years although he could get a job if he chose to. He claims he can't go back to working for someone else after having been his own boss for 10 years.

I'm devasted. My parents insist I don't have to say yes but I don't feel like i have much of a choice. I haven't stopped crying since.

OP posts:
Grrrrdarling · 31/12/2022 03:47

MoMuM7 · 26/12/2022 12:25

He still has his 50% of his share but he's saving it for his future apparently. And may parents are right in thinking he'll need every help he can get if he carries on living like he is.

Show quote history

This is your brothers future & he needs to use his one 50% share kit dip into someone else’s unless he decides to give you back the percentage he takes form your ‘inheritance’ when he gets his 50%. He is in need now he will probably be less wasteful if he is using his ‘future money’.

bemusedmoose · 31/12/2022 22:27

Your brother was a twat, you shouldnt have to pay for his mistakes. Say no because you need your share and he spent his already. He'll have to stand on his own 2 feet.

Annabella91 · 31/12/2022 23:36

OP please don't give in your brothers cheating isn't your problem he need to apply for jobs so he can get out to work.
He can't just decide he doesnt Want work that's now how life works keep your share and feel no guilt.

Annabella91 · 01/01/2023 12:22

He's a lazy leech very unfair for op.

Canthave2manycats · 01/01/2023 19:42

yphtutor · 28/12/2022 00:07

You aren’t as you are not actually entitled to anything. I never inherited any money that’s an amount worth talking about. I’ve always made my own way in life, worked hard, don’t expect anything from anyone else. I get they asked for their share early and got it, you missed the boat. Move on don’t get bitter and I wish you all the very best for the future

Jealous much?

Feetupteashot · 01/01/2023 19:44

Yabu by saying you don't have a choice. Your parents obviously aren't sure which is why they are asking you your opinion!

Feetupteashot · 01/01/2023 19:44

Maybe they are expecting you to be the 'bad guy'

Canthave2manycats · 01/01/2023 19:46

eastegg · 27/12/2022 22:54

I agree with others that the suggestion is unfair and unwise, and that OP should say no, but also I think PPs are picking out the worst bits about the brother and character assassinating him just as I think the OP intended. I mean if his business has gone under due to Covid that really is shit. Ok sounds like he’s not helping himself, but financial ruin due to Covid deserves a crumb of sympathy.

Financial ruin - in a brand new Merc...???

SHOLALADY48 · 19/04/2023 21:53

Say no. Period. Repeat after me... "No." Your brother caused all of his own problems and he shouldn't be rewarded for his irresponsible behavior. You have two toddlers and I know from experience that is HARD. Now your parents expect you to sacrifice your mental, physical and financial well-being to coddle him???

Zonder · 19/04/2023 22:21

SHOLALADY48 · 19/04/2023 21:53

Say no. Period. Repeat after me... "No." Your brother caused all of his own problems and he shouldn't be rewarded for his irresponsible behavior. You have two toddlers and I know from experience that is HARD. Now your parents expect you to sacrifice your mental, physical and financial well-being to coddle him???

Fortunately OP did that back in December... Zombie thread!

McSlowburn · 19/04/2023 23:09

An absolute no OP. Stay strong.

I lost both my parents last year. They were pretty solvent with multiple properties.

It's just me and my sister who inherit - we are in very different circumstances but it's completely down the middle and we accept that and remain close.

wentworthinmate · 15/05/2023 18:21

How is any of this inheritance? They are not dead. They shouldn’t give any of you anything whilst alive and split equally in a will. Job done.

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