To be furious SIL woke us up at 6AM?

[XmasDone]

We had a chaotic couple of days and late nights albeit lovely. SIL who lives abroad calls at 6am this morning just to say hi. Dh told her can he call back later as too early and she says oh sorry didn't realise Uk was that early.

I haven't been able to go back to sleep since and I was really looking forward to a lie in this morning. Aibu to be furious that she couldn't even be bothered to calculate the time difference?

She usually never calls and when she does it's either when she wants help with something or to ask a question. I want my sleep back!!!

Meh, may be a nap later if you can, or an early night. By the way I have my phone on 24/77 for work but I only let certain number through between 9pm and 7am (iphone).

Why not put his phone on silent with priority calls so only work can get through?

I'm an early riser so it wouldn't bother me too much but I can understand why you are annoyed. I don't put my phone on silent in case anyone needs to reach me in an emergency. She hasn't made a silly mistake, you can check local time anywhere in the world on your mobile phone, she's been thoughtless. Tell her to keep UK time on her world clock.

Totally irrelevant!
There is a world of difference between being woken up by your own bodily functions and by a stupid phone call. Its actually quite discusting to see you cant see the difference.

Thanks all who get me.

Yes once I'm up I'm up, really find it hard to get back to sleep. And yes I do sometimes get woken up by DH's work calls but this wasn't a work call. I'm pretty sure SIL wouldn't have done this if she was calling another country for work - she would have definitely looked up before making that call.

There can be calls from numbers he doesn't have on his phone so can't do this unfortunately

I would be furious too, some people are thoughtless

So basically you wanted answers that agreed with you?

Er yes, furious is an overreaction.

I can imagine being irritated, probably lessening to mildly irritated by the time I had a coffee in my hand. But furious, really?

Why doesn’t your DP have a work phone? If he’s going to have his phone on 24/7 for work he should have a different phone for personal calls which he can keep on silent.

I don't know, he's never been given one from work. Do people own 2 at their expense if they're not given a work phone from work?

She made a mistake and apologised for it. To be furious is a massive overreaction imo.

I bet if it was your sister you would have been ok, maybe a little annoyed. It’s family! They supposed to call anytime 🤦🏻‍♀️ she realised her mistake and will call back. Furious is really OTT!

Furious? It's worthy of mild annoyance at most.

It must be very tough for those who live with the easily enraged.

Are you being deliberately naïve? Work equipment required to do you role should be provided, and paid for, by the employer. If I need a mobile phone to do my job then of course they have to pay for it!

I’d be a bit irritated. Going forward your dp needs to sort something so it’s only his work phone on vibrate if he’s actually on call.
An on call phone is usually different to a personal phone. Otherwise they could be ringing him when he’s not on call eg when he’s in hospital or abroad etc.

It sounds annoying, but more in an "I'm so tired today, I wish that hadn't happened" type comment you might mutter to a friend in passing than needing post on AIBU.

If she had deliberately calculated the difference, considered that DH leaves his phone on for work and decided that it would fuck you all over to call at that time, then yes, I'd be upset. But realistically, if she wanted to have a chat or ask for a favour then it would be a silly way to make that happen as no-one's in the best mood when they've been woken up that way.

Have you tried wearing earplugs when DH is on call for work, so at least your sleep doesn't have to be disturbed by his work?

If she's in another country and tends to call at random times just for a chat, I would put her number on Do Not Disturb overnight as it's not like you're going to be able to dash to her in a middle-of-the-night emergency anyway, and it sounds far more likely that she's just going to be calling for a chat.

YANBU. At best it's thoughtless. I always check when I'm calling abroad. I have very bad sleep, wake for the smallest thing and possibly peri, have kids, a DH who snores so if someone wakes me unnecessarily when I am asleep it's horrible.

I do have what others have and my phone is set to allow calls from my family as there could be an issue but I have said to my sisters to not send messages or call after 10pm unless it's an emergency. There is absolutely no danger of them calling at an early hour when I would actually be awake anyway as they are not morning people.

@MajesticElephant no genuinely didn't know. The organisation that he works for don't give out work phones.

Furious??

Get a grip!

What is the job that he can get calls from random numbers 24 hours a day 7 days a week?

Surely your sleep must be disturbed very often by his phone ringing.

I think you do need to look into a different solution for the work calls.

Also, If she lives in another country he is not going to be any use to her in an emergency. So he can adjust his phone settings to silence her number at night.

Also you can set your phone so that it silences the first attempt at ringing, but if the same number calls immediately again (ie emergency) then it goes through. I'd look into the settings on his phone and try to adjust it to prevent future I terruptins.

I'm quite surprised at the posters who think it's normal to sleep with their phone on silent - I presume that they have no possibility of emergency contact being needed at night.

I understand how you feel OP. My DH had a cousin in the US who used to randomly ring us very early on a Sunday morning.

Just have a cosy Boxing Day nap instead. No big deal.

So put the people you may be “emergency contacted by” to bypass the silent system and then you won’t get annoying calls from cousins abroad.