To be furious SIL woke us up at 6AM?

[XmasDone]

We had a chaotic couple of days and late nights albeit lovely. SIL who lives abroad calls at 6am this morning just to say hi. Dh told her can he call back later as too early and she says oh sorry didn't realise Uk was that early.

I haven't been able to go back to sleep since and I was really looking forward to a lie in this morning. Aibu to be furious that she couldn't even be bothered to calculate the time difference?

She usually never calls and when she does it's either when she wants help with something or to ask a question. I want my sleep back!!!

So clearly there is backstory here, given your comment about her selfish nature.

If this is the most recent in a list of things done that impact on your life, I'm much more sympathetic to 'fury' - the kind that stems from exasperation.

YANBU. You don't even need to 'calculate' the time difference, just look it up - most phones have a world clock function so you can instantly see what time it is in X place, or you can just Google 'what's the time in London / Paris / New York etc. It's a 5 second job, no excuses.

I agree. It’s selfish and thoughtless

Sorry, that wasn't a clap back at Brefugee, it was a crossed post. I do see where you're coming from but the point was OP cannot be fairly accused of over reacting when what she had was - an emotion. We can't help what we feel, we can only help what we do about it.

I'd be really pee'd off too. Very selfish. It doesn't take much to work out the time difference. She couldn't be bothered.

We are not close to Sil.

I'd never have guessed

YABU. If you have to have a phone not on silent then you should expect this.

For everyone saying you should have put your mobile phone on silent... Mobile phones have replaced the need for land-lines in a lot of households. So if you think its unacceptable to call a land-line at 6am, then the same rules apply for mobile phones.

The 6am call from SIL could have been an emergency, but it wasn't. She should have checked the UK time before calling.

That said, it's happened now, and it's not the sort of thing I could be angry about for too long.

Our SIL / BIL text ‘Merry Christmas’ separately from Thailand which was at 3am our time Christmas Day.

They know full well the time difference, I had my phone on silent but the vibrate still was enough to wake me.

Theres been years and years of this kind of low level arse behaviour. I just roll my eyes now.

Listen to yourself. You are massively overreacting. You’ve even posted on an internet forum about getting a phone call early in the morning. It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks she was unreasonable- it’s weirder that you’re having such an extreme reaction to it.

I'd be much more irritated at the sleepy, disheveled idiot beside me jumping around looking for his phone because he can't manage to place it beside the bed before falling asleep on it -particularly when it's his phone which is required to be on 24/7 for work.

You do realise you can turn vibrate off. You are the master of your own destiny.

Nowadays I sleep pretty well every night and could shrug off a disturbed night’s sleep. But when the kids were babies/toddlers or I’d been unwell my emotional reaction to someone waking me up hours early would be firstly to want to cry, and if someone had caused it by thoughtlessness I would be furious. And if you wake up with a big jolt of adrenaline you can’t just snooze again. So I totally understand where the OP’s coming from.

But then she wouldn't be able to moan about it every year .....

This was why I never gave family or friends my work number. Never mind it wasn’t my personal phone.

Then when it rang I knew it would be for work and my personal phone was on whatever setting it needed to be.

How would you know you were enjoying a cosy lie in if you were asleep? Surely her waking you up early has added to your enjoyment?

I’d be furious too OP, don’t disturb my precious sleep! I despise early mornings so that would make me so angry. Morning people really don’t get it.

Nope. A mobile is a mobile for a reason. If you don’t want calls between certain times use the feature of your phone and put it on silent.

Otherwise accept calls at all times.

Your fault for not having phones on silent.

I’d get over yourself. I’m busy but on going to bed around 11pm, usually wake up around 2am and 6am to pee. I’m not ‘furious’ or ‘raging’, and just go back to bed and sleep.

And no, I don’t have any liquid after 5pm, bladder just has its own ideas these days.

@Saynow I'm not a morning person but I think "furious" is a huge over reaction.

This. She didn't calculate the time difference. I'd sleep was that important to you, his phone should have either been on silent or if it really had to be on, be next to him.

Sorry, that wasn't a clap back at Brefugee, it was a crossed post.

thanks @Anniegetyourgun - i didn't take it that way, I am very much aware of how petty and vindictive i am

We're dinosaurs and have a landline and we don't take our mobile phones into the bedroom. However given that OP's DH has it in there for work reasons, the only real option is to heavily customise who can break through the DND setting.

Given there's history, though, i think my plans of Petty Vindictiveness would be justified 😂

Exactly! I remember losing it with my father once when I was staying with them because the childre were young, sleep was precious and it was a sort of performative 'look at me up and at it so early' versus his usual behaviour. I had one night without the children in which to have a good sleep and lay in in til about 8.30 but he woke me at 7 and that was it. It was just indicative of his general thoughtlessness, a similar context perhaps to the OPs dynamic with her SIL

I'd be furious too and understand why you are.
If you are not well and tired and sleep deprived, someone waking you up at 6am because they cant behave its horrible. Plus if you cant go back to sleep it makes your day horrible. Or even if you are able to get to sleep as it makes you get up later.