He just went and lay on the sofa after Christmas dinner

[Shakybumtoyforchristmas]

I’ve spent weeks organising Christmas, planned everything, bought and wrapped all of Dds presents, done all the food planning & shopping. I organised all outings and all of Christmas Eve, made through Christmas Eve meal, made Christmas breakfast today and Christmas lunch/dinner. It’s only 3 of us this year, Dh, myself and Dd, 4.
He got up and down during the meal, let Dd pull crackers throughout (I’ve always waited until after the meal) then finished his dessert and went and lay on the sofa saying he was stuffed and exhausted.
I pulled the rest of the crackers sat at the table with Dd, then cleared all the table, cleaned it and swept underneath and did all the washing up and putting away.
Aibu to feel that he’s just a cf and i’m
not appreciated at all?
The main thing he did was the setting out of presents last night, letter from Santa and footprints etc. The dishes from the meal I made last night for Christmas Eve were left out, I had to ask him to please do them.

*The Christmas Eve meal

Why didn't you just tell him to wash up?

I would have just said ‘I’ve done everything else, you will need to clear up.’

He does sound a bit crap but if ever there was a day where you can just leave the chores for a few hours or even till the next day it's today!

I’ve spent weeks organising Christmas, planned everything, bought and wrapped all of Dds presents, done all the food planning & shopping. I organised all outings and all of Christmas Eve, made through Christmas Eve meal, made Christmas breakfast today and Christmas lunch/dinner.

Why though? Does he not care about any of it or he does but expects you to do all it all? He’s her dad too, why on Earth didn’t he do anything until last night?

We’ve all come to lie down on the sofa after lunch but we did equal amounts of work and prep and well tidy up together later.

It sounds rubbish and disappointing but it’s not about him lying down after a big meal, he’s disengaged and doesn’t seem to care about any of it. Some people don’t which is fair enough but it was up to both of you to make things nice for your shared child.

If I had voted it would have been YABU because you let him lie on the sofa. You should have spoken up and told him he needed to do the clearing away and washing up too.

Why did you do all of this? Why do so many people put such pressure on themselves at Christmas? Insane.

Make a note in your diary to remind you NOT to do so much next Christmas. Time blurs the memory so a diary note might help?
Next time conserve your emotional input and energy. Just don’t do so much. It’s clearly lost on him and totally unappreciated.
I bet he won’t even notice.

I bet you have going around with a martyrish cats bum expression on your face OP and that is what your DD will remember (along with the slightly happy memory of being allowed to pull loads of crackers with her dad over Xmas lunch)

Why does he have to do everything to your timetable? There really is no rush to get stuck into the washing up immediately upon finishing Christmas dinner.

and he let kid pull crackers during the meal. What a bastard.

Why haven’t you told him to do the washing up?

@Ursuladevine Ok 🤣👍

normal people don’t go around demanding things of others or issuing instructions/orders to other grown adults.

@Westernesse He wouldn’t do
it, it would be left

@Westernesse I haven’t done that, if he’d made all the dinners etc etc, I’d be getting up, saying a thank you and tidying/washing up 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Warspite Yes, def, not doing it this way again

Bet that’s the only time you’ve smiled today

@Scalottia I don’t mind to do the cooking, present organisation etc, it would have been appreciated to help out a bit

@Ursuladevine Very good.

It actually isn’t, had a lovely day..up until now and feel a bit rubbish

Did you ask him?
Or silently just thinking it?

Doesn’t everyone want to have a lie down after a huge Christmas dinner? That’s not your problem, but him being generally lazy might be.

As for the Christmas crackers, what are you on about waiting until after dinner to open them? The whole point is that you get a hat to wear, jokes to tell and tat to talk about while eating your Christmas dinner. They’re completely pointless after dinner, so on that your DH is right.

Sure you did. Bet it’s been dreamy based on your OP

I don’t normally recommend a Christmas puppy - but for the love of god - if you’re sweeping up crumbs on Xmas day, do yourself a favour and get a dog for next year. They don’t see this as a chore.

nobody likes a Christmas martyr.

Doesn't everyone have a lie down after a Christmas meal? We do. Our dishwasher is on. We are all knackered. You should've left it all and made him help later.

The thing is, by going to do it yourself, he gets the impression that you don't mind and that he doesn't have to help.

I'd have sat down myself too and told him that he needs to wash up before bed/dinner as you're the one that cooked.