He just went and lay on the sofa after Christmas dinner

[Shakybumtoyforchristmas]

I’ve spent weeks organising Christmas, planned everything, bought and wrapped all of Dds presents, done all the food planning & shopping. I organised all outings and all of Christmas Eve, made through Christmas Eve meal, made Christmas breakfast today and Christmas lunch/dinner. It’s only 3 of us this year, Dh, myself and Dd, 4.
He got up and down during the meal, let Dd pull crackers throughout (I’ve always waited until after the meal) then finished his dessert and went and lay on the sofa saying he was stuffed and exhausted.
I pulled the rest of the crackers sat at the table with Dd, then cleared all the table, cleaned it and swept underneath and did all the washing up and putting away.
Aibu to feel that he’s just a cf and i’m
not appreciated at all?
The main thing he did was the setting out of presents last night, letter from Santa and footprints etc. The dishes from the meal I made last night for Christmas Eve were left out, I had to ask him to please do them.

Sounds stressful from both sides. If he can’t even pull a cracker without asking permission he probably felt he couldn’t do right for doing wrong.
And why miss out on all the fun aspects of Christmas like outings etc? So you can present a Hallmark vision of perfection on the Day? For whom?
Yes your DH was unhelpful but I think you’ve set yourself up for disappointment.

Crackers are done at the beginning

Agree.

Also never heard of doing more than one cracker per person. Extras are saved for next year.

What was he doing up & down?

Yes. So you can wear the hat while you're eating.

Stop enabling him; stop behaving like his domestic skivvy, stop being a martyr.

I have a DP who 'doesn't mind doing the cooking and the gifts either'. Neither do I. Compared to the clearing up and other grunt work, cooking nice food, making things look lovely and spending money on those we love, are undoubtedly the prime jobs.
The cooking side also generates a lot of mess. You've done 3 'special' meals in less than 24 hours, which is a lot of clearing up. Did your DH and DD really want that? I know if I was expected to tidy up after each of them, then I wouldn't.
If he expects the same elaborate affair you do, then he should indeed share the work. But its possible he doesn't care much either way.

My husband does all the cooking and clearing away at Christmas. He just likes to do it all himself. To be honest, I find entertaining the kids a whole job in itself!

Oh I let mine finish the pack!!

Jesus. Im lying on my arse and the kitchens a mess. Hope dh isnt complaining about me online.

Me too 🤣

I think we have to set our own standards, and if he's like this the rest of the time (as I suspect) why would you think Christmas day would be any different?
I used to have a man child too, and several children to him, but that's simply not good enough for me now.
This year I bought, wrapped, and organised all of the presents, all of the activities for us, and all of the food. I also did all of the cooking (we had our 'big' dinner on Christmas Eve as I like to spend every minute I can with the children on Christmas day, rather than in the kitchen) but to be fair, he was at work until 2pm so couldn't help with the cooking. He did, however, wash all of the pots after the meal. We wiped the table and worktops down together, and he then hoovered/mopped the floor while I sat down with a drink. In the old days I would have done everything and I mean everything. There was no way I was going to stand for that for long.
Tell him what you want doing. Yes we shouldn't have to tell them, but if he's anything like mine he walks around with his eyes closed and doesn't notice what needs to he done. You are allowing his behaviour I'm afraid.

'Agree.
Also never heard of doing more than one cracker per person. Extras are saved for next year.'

Oh we push the boat out and pull the whole pack, total rebels 😂

Next year, more playing with your kid, less organising etc. we had 7 round for dinner, have had 14 or more in the past…and always had time to sit down and pull crackers.

My OH is doing the dishes today after I cooked the dinner last night. Maybe we're just clarty, but it's xmas day, the dishes can wait, I don't really care (and I'm anal about the dishes being done each day usually).

What's wrong with him getting up from the table during the meal? We had ours on the couch.

He should have helped clear the dishes away yes. Maybe he would have, if you gave him chance? It sounds like you did it immediately because he needed a lie down after dinner (we did too in this house) - but maybe that's not the case and you left it a while too and he didn't bother.

The crackers thing - not everything has to be YOUR way, OP.

Just to add - if you're cooking dinner then yes the xmas eve meals dishes should have been done ready for xmas day dinner prep.

You need to learn to speak up and communicate