He just went and lay on the sofa after Christmas dinner

[Shakybumtoyforchristmas]

I’ve spent weeks organising Christmas, planned everything, bought and wrapped all of Dds presents, done all the food planning & shopping. I organised all outings and all of Christmas Eve, made through Christmas Eve meal, made Christmas breakfast today and Christmas lunch/dinner. It’s only 3 of us this year, Dh, myself and Dd, 4.
He got up and down during the meal, let Dd pull crackers throughout (I’ve always waited until after the meal) then finished his dessert and went and lay on the sofa saying he was stuffed and exhausted.
I pulled the rest of the crackers sat at the table with Dd, then cleared all the table, cleaned it and swept underneath and did all the washing up and putting away.
Aibu to feel that he’s just a cf and i’m
not appreciated at all?
The main thing he did was the setting out of presents last night, letter from Santa and footprints etc. The dishes from the meal I made last night for Christmas Eve were left out, I had to ask him to please do them.

We all muck in in our house. You should of told him to help out as you've done the majority of things yourself. Try to enjoy the rest of christmas and relax get your self a drink and put your feet up. Merry christmas

I don’t get the cracker thing. You do them at the start of the meal so you can wear the paper hat.

Because having a Christmas with someone determined to stick to a military routine and actively aware of how much they’ve done in relation to others… is unpleasant for all. Especially the children

People aren't trolls just because they have a different opinion to you.

It's the same in My house op. My husband said I never "let" him cook Christmas Dinner. I said crack on, what makes u think I want to do it? I still did it my brother helped. I've done all the washing up, came in the front room to find pulled crackers all over, toys all over the floor and him nodding off. I said u could have at least done that ffs.

Great advice.

Noting tips for next Christmas was great advice I got years ago.

My memory has gotten poorer but reading over my last year tips brings it ALL back to me.

@Inextremis Finally, someone who does it the same 😂We have our dessert, chocs, coffee etc and pull crackers 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh do fuck off with your cuntish, unhelpful attitude to someone who is clearly here to let off steam. If you can’t be helpful why don’t you put your phone done and have a go at making a person in real life feel like shit instead.

It’s shit to feel unappreciated @Shakybumtoyforchristmas, especially when the CF is a glory hunter who wants to take charge of the fun bits like Santa footprints and cracker pulling with none of the actual hard work. Try and make sure that next year is different.

It’s ok i’m ignoring the trolls (main troll)
There’s a difference between having a different opinion, which is fine and trying to be a wind up

@Ursuladevine my above message to you was in response to this post full of Christmas cheer.

”I bet you have going around with a martyrish cats bum expression on your face OP and that is what your DD will remember (along with the slightly happy memory of being allowed to pull loads of crackers with her dad over Xmas lunch)”

'Never heard of crackers after Xmas dinner either! Surely you do them right at the start and then wear your hat for the meal?'

This ^ the crackers thing isn't a big deal, very few 3 year olds want to eat their dinner and are so overwhelmed, that keeping them sitting at the table can be challenging. I know my 3 year old was obsessed with crackers too. My 5 year old was too excited from the morning's events to eat much (and just wented to play with new toys) but me and dh thoroughly enjoyed our dinner. I'm sure they'll make up for it later or tomorrow.

Laying down after a big dinner is what most people do. You should have just gone and joined him then said dishes are there to do. It sounds like the more you do the more he doesn't need to do, because you're doing it.

@Mumsanetta Thank you 🙏

Yes, next year we’ll swap roles, tbf he’s played with her most of the day (obviously as I’d been prepping/cooking etc…but I’m more than happy to take that role next year 💜

And also op just relax and enjoy the day, life is short, have some fun!

Does he help you at all with meals during the year or do you normally do it all?

My dh is not good at cooking, or if he does do it it’s always elaborate and takes forever so with that and work he doesn’t do much cooking but always clears up and sorts the dishwasher. Dc do their fair share too no are both good at cooking.

Come Christmas, or any meal with visitors, I simply tell them all what they need to do and they do it. perhaps you need to get him and your dd helping more during the rest of the year so they will naturally muck in with you at Christmas.

What a martyr you are. Go join him on the couch with DC, have a cuddle and watch a movie. The dishes could have waited til later.

@Jinglebellrocks Yeah, you’re right I was over the top letting the crackers part bother me, the rest was annoying though

The op's dd is 3 @HelloDaisy

If you keep doing everything then you are enabling his behaviour.

You need to stop. Leave the dishes. Leave the clearing up. Tell him it's his turn and sit down and relax.

If he doesn't do it. You still need to leave it.

She's four.

@HelloDaisy I generally do all
the cooking as I don’t mind it and he’s not great..but..because of this, I think he should help more with the washing up etc, sometimes he does, but last couple of days has been harder work and obviously need more help

Definately stop doing it all op, let your dh share the load. As I said earlier the more you do, the more you are allowing him not to do. I have dh in charge of the meat, we pre prep the meal together on Christmas eve. It is a joint effort, you need to start now the way you mean to go on. It is hard enough with young dc.

Yes but why? He's not an employee in training. Why are so many men utterly useless?

3/4 not much difference really is it.

And a merry crimbo to you too! 😂

let me guess…. You’ve also felt pissed off and put upon all day?!