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AIBU?

Is my 7 year old just being honest or is she ungrateful? Maybe it’s me maybe I’m really shit at choosing presents?

265 replies

MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:23

My 7 year old DD had the following on her Santa list...

A cuddly koala that talks
Gym equipment so she can do gymnastics at home (obvs can’t have a rope hanging from the ceiling)
Lol stuff
Barbie aeroplane
A history book
Lego set
A see through umbrella
A computer
Photo frames
Surprises
Clay

And few other bits that I couldn’t make make out (sneaky look at letter before it went to Santa because she didn’t want me to see it)

This morning she opened from her list
Cuddly koala that talks
Barbie aeroplane
History book
Lego set
Surprises which were...
Playdoh set
Arts and crafts set (new pens, ribbons etc)
A lovely fluffy lockable box to put her special things in
Barbie doll for the aeroplane
Polly pocket set
Sink n sand game (she’d said she wanted this)
Puzzle
Couple of new clothes

She’s just told me she doesn’t like most of her presents and this year isn’t as good as last year.

Shes told me she isn’t that keen on the Barbie aeroplane now, Santa got the wrong history book (it’s an age appropriate lift the flaps Usbourne book), she never wanted polly pockets (already has some and asked for more about a month ago), doesn’t like the crafts set....

Aibu for thinking I’m shit at choosing presents or do I have an ungrateful child? I need perspective.

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CatJumperTwat · 25/12/2022 11:25

It really depends whether you asked and how she said it.

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Hellocatshome · 25/12/2022 11:25

She is ungrateful and even if the presents are from Santa so she doesn't know she is being ungrateful to the gift givers face she needs to learn to appreciate what she has been given. I wouldn't be impressed by that attitude.

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Hellocatshome · 25/12/2022 11:26

CatJumperTwat · 25/12/2022 11:25

It really depends whether you asked and how she said it.

Ah yes but also this. Did you push and push her for her thoughts on the presents or did she just come out with these remarks as she was opening them?

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themusicmum · 25/12/2022 11:28

She is being rude.

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WaddleAway · 25/12/2022 11:28

She’s ungrateful. I have a 7 year old and can’t imagine her saying those things even if she thought it! Mine didn’t ask for anything this year so everything was a ‘surprise’.
However, Christmas Day can be a bit overwhelming for some kids. All the hype and excitement. If she’s not usually like that I’d cut her a bit of slack.

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MelchiorsMistress · 25/12/2022 11:29

It’s a symptom of the way we set children up to believe that Santa is magical and will bring them what they ask for.

You did a wonderful job in fulfilling your child’s list and of course she should be grateful for the lovely things she received, but from her perspective she’s probably wondering why Santa would give her things she didn’t want when he didn’t give her things she asked for.

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loridee · 25/12/2022 11:29

Is she tired? I would be really offended if my daughter said this, I would tell her she's being really ungrateful.

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bellac11 · 25/12/2022 11:29

This is what comes of teaching children a blanket 'be honest about your feelings' because they dont understand that actually its quite rude to just blurt out things like that. At that age there is some growing recognition of being polite and saying thankyou even if you're a bit disappointed. She needs to learn this.

Plus she is ungrateful.

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Rotherweird · 25/12/2022 11:29

She’s only 7, Christmas is a lot for young children. I’d let it go.

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SapphosRock · 25/12/2022 11:30

Only child?

The pressure of being centre of attention on Christmas morning could be a reason if so.

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AkoraEdelherb · 25/12/2022 11:30

She’s being very ungrateful.

That’s also plenty of presents and I couldn’t imagine not appreciating the effort (but then I grew up poor). Is she spoiled all year round?

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bookworm14 · 25/12/2022 11:31

SapphosRock · 25/12/2022 11:30

Only child?

The pressure of being centre of attention on Christmas morning could be a reason if so.

Piss off with your stereotyping. My DD is an only and would not behave like this.

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MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:31

I didn’t ask her, she just said completely randomly “This year isn’t as good as last year I don’t like most of my presents, I didn’t get what I wanted”. I pointed out what she got from her list and that she’d asked for surprises too. We always say a Santa list is a wish list.

Shes ripped open everything, played with everything for a matter of minutes and now has a long face because last year was better.

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TidyDancer · 25/12/2022 11:31

On first glance it does seem she is quite ungrateful but is it possible she overwhelmed? My two could be right little shits at that age when it all just got too much. They needed an hour or so to decompress a bit and they were back to being pleasant human beings again!

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Angeldelight81 · 25/12/2022 11:32

Just ignore it should be playing with it happily in an hour. Mine just had a meltdown about his Apple Watch. A fucking Apple Watch and it’s the wrong one. I’ve just had to grit my teeth and smile

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SeenAndNot · 25/12/2022 11:34

MelchiorsMistress · 25/12/2022 11:29

It’s a symptom of the way we set children up to believe that Santa is magical and will bring them what they ask for.

You did a wonderful job in fulfilling your child’s list and of course she should be grateful for the lovely things she received, but from her perspective she’s probably wondering why Santa would give her things she didn’t want when he didn’t give her things she asked for.

We’ve always made it clear there’s no guarantee Santa will bring everything asked for for this exact reason. He brings small stocking stuff not big expensive stuff. To do it any other way really runs the risk of disappointment because they’ve asked for too much or stuff that isn’t affordable.

OP yes she’s being ungrateful - perfect learning opportunity here to explain we don’t always get what we want, but that’s ok, we near to be grateful for everything we do have and learn to be content. You got her good gifts. It’s part of growing up to learn to be grateful and deal quietly with disappointments.

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Daffodilis · 25/12/2022 11:34

I'd say slightly precocious rather than deliberately ungrateful, maybe she thinks it's a good think to give her honest opinion.

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MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:36

Nope not an only child! We have children aged 4, 6 and 7.

Definitely not spoilt and indulged children.

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Ihatethenewlook · 25/12/2022 11:37

Extremely rude. My 5 year old has better manners. He looked crestfallen halfway through opening his presents this morning. I asked him what was wrong but he plastered a fake smile on his face and said ‘nothing mummy’. I was confused thinking I’d missed something out he’d really wanted, but he hadn’t even finished opening everything yet. His sister told me later that he’d opened the little bluey watch I’d bought him and it was too big, but didn’t want to tell me and make me sad. Took me less than a minute to sort out with a new hole and I gave him a cuddle and said tell me next time so I can help you! I’d be taking the presents back if my children came out with such a bratty comment like yours did.

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MichaelAndEagle · 25/12/2022 11:37

I'd just ignore it tbh. Or reply with a gentle, oh dear what a shame.

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Ilkleymoor · 25/12/2022 11:37

She doesn't know they are from you so she's saying what she thinks - I also think this easier to articulate I don't like presents than christmas is odd and I wanted magic perfection but I don't even know what that is.

Plus there is so much pressure at Christmas. My much you get child asked for one thing, got it and was a bit bemused at having more rather than delighted. There are a lot of mixed messages at Christmas. If the sulks last, have a chat, otherwise give her time to get her head around it. She'll probably end up loving one of the surprises or using it loads in a month.

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PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 25/12/2022 11:37

It's probably just 'anticlimax-itis' after all the the build up to Christmas, the day itself has a lot of 'hype' to live up to!

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/12/2022 11:38

Granted when I was a,kid the dinosaurs were still waltzing around but if I'd have said that to my mum at 7. The toys would have been gone.

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Ilkleymoor · 25/12/2022 11:38

Also ignore the Aggy messages from some of the other posters here.

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FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 25/12/2022 11:39

I would very much park her comments for today.
I'd bring it up tomorrow, that her words sounded ungrateful and was she actually ungrateful or is it all a misunderstanding?

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