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AIBU?

Is my 7 year old just being honest or is she ungrateful? Maybe it’s me maybe I’m really shit at choosing presents?

265 replies

MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:23

My 7 year old DD had the following on her Santa list...

A cuddly koala that talks
Gym equipment so she can do gymnastics at home (obvs can’t have a rope hanging from the ceiling)
Lol stuff
Barbie aeroplane
A history book
Lego set
A see through umbrella
A computer
Photo frames
Surprises
Clay

And few other bits that I couldn’t make make out (sneaky look at letter before it went to Santa because she didn’t want me to see it)

This morning she opened from her list
Cuddly koala that talks
Barbie aeroplane
History book
Lego set
Surprises which were...
Playdoh set
Arts and crafts set (new pens, ribbons etc)
A lovely fluffy lockable box to put her special things in
Barbie doll for the aeroplane
Polly pocket set
Sink n sand game (she’d said she wanted this)
Puzzle
Couple of new clothes

She’s just told me she doesn’t like most of her presents and this year isn’t as good as last year.

Shes told me she isn’t that keen on the Barbie aeroplane now, Santa got the wrong history book (it’s an age appropriate lift the flaps Usbourne book), she never wanted polly pockets (already has some and asked for more about a month ago), doesn’t like the crafts set....

Aibu for thinking I’m shit at choosing presents or do I have an ungrateful child? I need perspective.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

759 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
16%
You are NOT being unreasonable
84%
Whatthediddlyfeck · 25/12/2022 11:50

Daffodilis · 25/12/2022 11:39

Great behaviour for an adult calling a child names, is your child scared of you btw?

She didn’t call the child names, it was the BEHAVIOUR she labelled, which is entirely appropriate.

Singleandproud · 25/12/2022 11:50

I think particularly this year children know there is a financial crisis, even if you have tried to protect them and not mention it there is a lot of negativity in the country (and the world) and children over hear others talking about how this Christmas will be rubbish and no one has any money and how everyone is struggling. If you hear that negativity enough then it seeps in and children often repeat what they've heard.

Sunflowersinthewind · 25/12/2022 11:50

So you got her sibling something that was on her list? Why didn't you just buy her some of the other stuff that was on her list instead of spending money on things she didn't ask for? She put two larger items on the list and didn't get them. Fair enough but maybe don't make writing lists into such a big thing! Or say lists are only for smaller items.

I agree with others that she should be grateful. You can say that actually you need to be grateful for presents, but she is only 7 so still little, time for her to learn.

FTY765 · 25/12/2022 11:51

Daffodilis · 25/12/2022 11:39

Great behaviour for an adult calling a child names, is your child scared of you btw?

Huh? Where did you get that conclusion from that post?

MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:52

Thank you so much everyone for your really kind comments and really.

I think we need to have a think about how we do Christmas next year and managing expectations.

OP posts:
Daffodilis · 25/12/2022 11:53

FTY765 · 25/12/2022 11:51

Huh? Where did you get that conclusion from that post?

Her son wouldn't tell her that his watch didn't fit whilst looking upset, so his sister had to tell her

SnowAndIceLobelia · 25/12/2022 11:53

One year my older Ds (cannot recall how old he was at the time, but around 9) was desperately disappointed with his gifts. All of which he had asked for,

Turned out he had watched a 'christmas present reveal' on youtube that one of those child 'influencers' had filmed and the child got loads and loads of toys- including DS's heart desire of an iphone.

It took a bit to winkle out what had happened. he just asked why Santa loved xx child more than him.

That may not be what has happened here- but whatever it is the hoped for dream did not match up to the reality. It might not be the child is ungrateful- just a bit disappointed. Working out why won't hurt and if it is just garden variety ingratitude then that can be gently worked on. She's only 7. Kids are still learning about social cues and social etiquette at that age. (heck, so are many of us as many threads about adults behaving badly is anything to go by. ).

olympicsrock · 25/12/2022 11:54

She’s being ungrateful I’m afraid. Your presents are fab and just what she asked for.

Durango · 25/12/2022 11:55

That’s fine darling, sometimes we don’t like the gifts we have, however there are lots of children who didn’t get anything for Xmas this year so put all the things you don’t want in a pile and we’ll take it to the food bank tomorrow <smile and walk away>

Daffodilis · 25/12/2022 11:55

Whatthediddlyfeck · 25/12/2022 11:50

She didn’t call the child names, it was the BEHAVIOUR she labelled, which is entirely appropriate.

Oh she did, it was also definitely a smug my child is better than yours post.

35965a · 25/12/2022 11:56

I think at that age there’s so much expectation and build up plus being tired and overexcited which can lead to a bit of an anticlimax. I never voiced it but at that age I wasn’t a fan of Christmas Day because I found it overwhelming. Boxing Day was much nicer as I’d had time to get stuck into my new things and a better sleep. So I think she is being a little ungrateful but I totally understand how that could happen.

TheHouseElf · 25/12/2022 11:56

Sure there are lots of children, who have received nothing or very little, who would be grateful for her unwanted toys if they are so disappointing to her. If she says it again, suggest you rehome them to somewhere they'd be more appreciated. 😉

Acheyknees · 25/12/2022 11:58

I ask her to put all the presents she doesn't want in a box and you can donate them to children less fortunate than her.

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 25/12/2022 11:59

I'm a bit shocked at the length of the list tbh, of which you seem to have done a heroic job of trying to fulfill.
My dc, who are now adults, were allowed to ask for 3 things, a 'big' present and 2 smaller ones. I always got them more than that but may è ots about managing expectations.
I think you are allowed to let her know she is being ungrateful.

MargaretThursday · 25/12/2022 11:59

I remember being 5 and really upset because Father Christmas had come to a party and given me (and everyone else) a colouring book.
Dm thought I was being ungrateful.
Actually I was upset because we had loads of colouring books at home and I was upset because I thought, being magic, he would have known that. I thought that meant that he had deliberately given a present he knew I didn't want.

MarrymeKeanu · 25/12/2022 11:59

sunflowers She did get things on her list, she also wanted surprises! She wanted a balance beam and a rope hanging from the ceiling as gym equipment, obvs couldn’t get that. And she doesn’t need a computer atm.

OP posts:
Rover83 · 25/12/2022 12:00

In our house Santa only brings one gift and the rest are from us. I think sometimes the magic of Santa is hard to live up to and things kids see on adverts aren't always what they have imagined. I think she is allowed to be dissapointed if things haven't lived up to her expectations but obviously being ungrateful is not OK.

Playdoh is the only thing my 7 year old would have been sad about as despite playing with it she's too grown up to want it as a gift luckily her 2 year old sibling got plenty to share!

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 25/12/2022 12:00

I like @Acheyknees suggestion

Deathraystare · 25/12/2022 12:00

You got most if not all that she asked for. You could go down the There are kids in Ukraine that would love this but I don't think she would care. Particularly bad that she now does not want the aeroplane. Perhaps not give her so much next year?

stayathomer · 25/12/2022 12:01

Technically she is ungrateful but don’t know how she’s being rude since it was Santa who got them!!! I’d if she’d got it from an auntie and told them then that’s rude, but she’s not telling Santa, she’s telling her mum that it didn’t quite hit the mark which is terrible for you but she doesn’t know that!!

BadShepherd · 25/12/2022 12:01

Sounds to me like you’ve done a wonderful job and for whatever reason, I think you need a large glass of something and tube out the whining. you are a great mum!

I think the book sounds a little babyish - maybe offer to take her to Waterstones and get her another one. “Santa didn’t realise how good you are at reading these days”. (A child that can write a comprehensive list is beyond “lift the flap” imo).

ShimmeringShirts · 25/12/2022 12:01

I’d say that’s fine and take them all back off her. Can’t stand kids acting like ungrateful brats, but I’m also a Scrooge and hate Christmas and the expectations that go along with it.

Gemmanorthdevon · 25/12/2022 12:02

I agree with the poster who said it's a symptom of what some parents make Christmas to be, which is that a magic man comes and dumps a ton of presents under the tree for free!

It may of made a huge difference for her to know at 7 that actually, you did that for her at a big cost to you because you love her so much.

My Son is 6 and is a pleasure to buy for, a lot of that comes from knowing we both work like dogs and we do so to give him the extra in life, not for a fat git smelling of mince pies and whisky to come and take our glory away! 😂

Tell her.....you did that, Santa can only do stockings..she will no doubt give you a cuddle and say sorry with it all having a new meaning. I bet she is a lovely girl, and she is old enough to understand.

Enjoy the rest of your day 😊

leftitabitlate22 · 25/12/2022 12:02

@MarrymeKeanu did she also get the see through umbrella she asked for, or did just her sister get one?

Mookie81 · 25/12/2022 12:03

I'm fed up of people excusing poor behaviour due to being 'overwhelmed' or 'tired'.
It's rude, plain and simple. 7 years old is old enough to know this isn't appropriate.

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