For those having a crap Christmas- come here and rant

[ReformedWaywardTeen]

Just that really.

Mine are:
Yet again, no Christmas gift from DH. He's had weeks. Ive literally done everything else, every gift, every bit of food planning, been cooking since Friday for it. Not one fucking thing.

My house is damp and crappy, landlord is a wanker so no point asking him as he'd already made comments about our rent being way under the value for houses in the area. Despite the fact the only thing the tosser does each year is a gas check and we've lived here ten years. So I went to put something nice on today as I live in jeans and never go out really bar to the supermarket, to find my tights have rotted through due to damp. The back of the drawer they were in is disgusting but I didn't realise as it's not a drawer in regular use. So now, fuck all to wear.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

DD very obviously didn't like their gifts. It's difficult to know what to get them as they're an older teen, and don't conform to typical teen fashion from PLT and the likes. They barely smiled at anything but have said it was all nice they just don't have to jump around about gifts as they're not a little kid anymore.

DS is unwell with a cold. He's really trying to get in the spirit but can tell he'd rather be in bed bless him.

So yes, if you're having a shit time and can't say anything to your nearest and dearest, say it here.

We’ve had a nice day, but tinged with sadness that another year has gone by and no further on the baby front. I look at our dd (who is 5) and wonder what her Christmases will be like once my parents aren’t around anymore in our small family unit. My brother lives the other end of the county so she rarely sees/knows her cousins and he cannot understand why we can’t easily visit (despite explanation of how tough and expensive IVF is, he has behaved like a sulking child). Icing on the cake is I started my period this morning - happy Christmas!

Our pet got very ill , don’t drive due to a health condition, spent hours on phone between emergency vets and trying to get a taxi, the emergency vet is nearly an hours drive so there’s been no Christmas Day, bank account drained massively but our pet is alive so nobody cares about anything else.

I bought the majority of presents for the DC. On 23rd I did a quick sort of the presents to check what I had. It’s been very busy work and life wise, so had some bits but wasn’t sure how everything matched up. Realised DC3 was lacking, so nipped out yesterday morning to collect a couple of things. I’ve wrapped all of the presents. All of them. DH was going on yesterday about not being bought Christmas Eve PJs in front of the children. We sat down after lunch so they could open their Christmas Eve pjs and I handed him his. I didn’t get any, or anything for that matter.

DH threw a strop last night and stormed up to bed. Left me to bring the presents downstairs, once he was sleeping. Did the same about lunch time today, threw a strop and off he went. Has picked up numerous night shifts, so he’s working from tonight until 5th January. I’ve been left to sort stuff all day and have been left to sort Christmas dinner, which we can’t have til 6:30 due to him working, by myself.

We've recently got a new puppy. I’ve been up since 5:45 with her, running on less than 4 hours sleep. I’ve dealt with her all day, in between trying to do everything else. It’s going to be like this all while DH is on nights, though I’m also working too from tomorrow on long days. DC1 will have to sort DPuppy in the day time while I’m working and DH is sleeping, I’ll be doing mornings before work and nighttime’s before bed.

I’ve got a toothache which has been ongoing since Friday evening. Pain relief temporarily takes it away, but it comes back. I can’t pin point it to a particular tooth, it’s just one side, but it really hurts. Im praying it goes, as I’ve no dentist and cannot afford private. Nowhere here has been taking NHS patients for such a long time.

All trivial things, but I am just so tired and in pain. Want to curl up in bed and just sleep.

Errm please don't. 48hrs symptom free before you return to work! Get well soon.

The number of men I’ve seen out jogging today, and you just know there’s a wife/partner/mum at home doing ALL the hard work.

Why are you with someone who can’t even buy you a Christmas present?

My 8 month old didn’t sleep at all last night so I’ve spent the whole day in a tired haze. Also a whole load of my hair fell out because of chemo and that’s the first time it’s done more than shed when I brush it. I’ve been cold capping and holding on to the vain hope that I might not end up bald. So fed up ☹️

Saying that someone can't be sad because others have it worse is like saying that you can't be happy because others have it better.

I guess I'm just missing my Mum and how special she made everything, how special she made me feel. That type of love is irreplaceable.

I've been feeling the same. Since my Mum got dementia, and then died, birthdays and Christmases just aren't the same. My Dad, who I love dearly and who is normally generous, has gone downhill health wise (nothing serious) and all he does now is think about his woes and he didn't give me anything for Christmas. He always gives me money, but this year not a thing. I trailed over to his place loaded down with gifts and groceries, and he is grateful for what I do, but I just feel a bit flat about it all.

Sorry to the posters who have lost loved ones recently, of course that is much worse.

Sorry you having a shit Xmas time,
thanks for doing this thread op

First Christmas since a break up so Woke up alone for the first time in over 21 years
Went and spent the day with the ex and kids
Was ignored by the ex fil
Drank a bottle to myself and thinking what's the point

Oh well tomorrow is a whole new day
Peace and love people

What a cowardly, shitty thing to do while you are away visiting and can't truly react.

I want to send masses of love and warmth to all on this thread. My heart goes out to those of you having a shit time, for whatever reason.

the last 3 christmases were awful for me, since I left abusive exh. Last year was a blur of police, lawyers, social services.

but this year, for the first time, it’s been peaceful. Has taken all of three years, but I am so grateful.

so this year I am not crying, or feeling terribly and desperately alone, waiting for thr police to come. The DCs are happy and fine. So I have love and warmth to spare, and am sending it to all of you. Rainbows will come, after the rain.

For the poster who asked why I stay with DH when he didn't bother getting gifts, my teen DD who is far more gobby than me, asked him.
He said he did actually buy something this year, but when it turned up it was shit and not what it was sold as, so he sent it back and intended to find something else. But apparently due to the strikes he knew it wouldn't get here in time so thought he would let me find something after Christmas.
She then said "and what about last year? You really bloody suck dad". He did look ashamed and he did tidy up after dinner.

I think DD is my guardian angel sometimes, she is as vocal as I wish I could've been all my life.

I think I may be getting something very soon after all.

I’m sorry this has happened to you. You must be reeling. Your partner chose to do this when you’re both away from home so you couldn’t react. He’s effectively silenced you because he knows you wouldn’t want to spoil Christmas for anyone by not putting on a front and taking it on the chin.

you really will be better off without him.

My toddler is being an arse.

I've been ill, only just feeling better today and now DD is ill. Missed out on time with family that I'd been looking forward to for weeks. House is an absolute tip and I don't have the energy to get on top of it.

Roll on 2023 please

I hope you all don’t mind, I made a post and wrote this last night as was feeling like shit.
Not feeling much better today to be honest and spend the whole night wishing for awful things.

Had a little wobble tonight and feeling awful.
I’m nearly 32, with my Dh for 16 years.

3 dc aged 17, 14,12

oldest dc was born after I naively “fell in love” with a 21 year old, pressured me into sex and fell pregnant that one and only time, he soon scarpered.
Kept the pregnancy a secret, knew nothing of terminations or even contraception for that matter.

Also abused by an uncle around the same time, I pretended to be asleep whilst he did it and never said anything to stop him.
I did tell a neighbour at the time, who then told my family, who then thought neighbour was lying and just trying to cause trouble, so I pretended like it didn’t happen. Told my mum the truth around 2 years ago, she didn’t say much, rather just stopped mentioning the uncles name in front of me. Grandfather asked if I would report him, because he didn’t want me to.

I have a younger sis (by 3 years), her DF and my DM divorced when I was 10, I called him and knew him as daddy even though I knew he really wasn’t. When they divorced he stopped all contact with me, would take my sis to stay with him for weekends, she got Christmas presents, birthday cards, phone calls. He’s never spoken to me since.

I’m mixed race, my DM doesn’t know who my DF is but always said he was from a specific country. DNA test done and the ethnicity I thought I was, is not that. Mum was shocked and then commented that’s obviously why I was 3 weeks late, she just thought it was another bloke.

I was moved schools and houses constantly between my DM and DGP growing up as I was bullied and racially harassed quite horrifically.
Think 30or so youths lined up on the street throwing eggs at the windows and chanting. Had a brick thrown at my head, a knife held at my throat, beaten black and blue in broad daylight in the middle of the street. All that got one person an £60 fine that was paid £2.50 a week, this part was all before the age of 13. My maternal family is white British, so I am really the odd one out.

I don’t really know the point of writing all this, I’m just feeling like I was only put on this earth to be punished and tortured and as some sort of play thing for other people.

I have my lovely children, but my dh, in all honesty I don’t love him anymore, nothing wrong in our relationship, other than I don’t love him, I’ve tried, but I can’t force it. He knows this, but he loves and respects me still.

I wish I had a dad, whoever he is, he doesn’t even know I exist so it’s not like he could ever find me.

Ive written this down, but how can one person be handed so much shit, more than some people ever deal with in a lifetime. It’s only me in my family that has had such horrific crap to deal with, it’s like it’s me that’s the problem and not anyone else

Dm passed away earlier this year, trying to get through the day without her.
Told oh I would have a couple of drinks and try to enjoy the day (when dm was alive I was designated driver)
Oh decides to get absolutely smashed, face like a slapped arse, muttering nasty comments aimed at my family members while we're sat round the table, I'm trying to shush him, in the end told him to fuckin knock it off, guess who's fault it is, yep mine

Bloody hell how awful 😢

I have a tooth that I'm pretty sure is abscessed. The pain is awful. I have a telehealth appointment at 4:30, hopefully the doctor will call in antibiotics. I considered going to the emergency room, but that's a whole thing. I already have an appointment to have the tooth taken care of, but it's not until 1/4, and I called my dentist's office and they're out until 1/2 for Christmas.

FIL ALWAYS puts Morecambe and Wise on at Christmas and I absolutely hate it. It's the most unfunny crap on earth.

As I have no family and received no invitations, I thought I would volunteer to stave off the loneliness, they say do something for others, don't they? So I drove for a charity that does sit down Christmas dinners, picked up a woman and her teenage daughter. Both turned out to have significant disabilities which I hadn't made any preparation for, and the girl was horribly anxious and refused to get in the car. After quite a showdown in the street, her mother bundled her in. After I dropped them off I realised she'd wet herself in the back, poor soul. After all that when I picked them up for the return journey they hadnt even enjoyed their presents or dinner! But the worst bit was being ignored when I went inside, not a cup of tea or even an acknowledgement. Still, I'd put a casserole in the slow cooker so I had that to come home to.

I have had a lovely meal with friends and their son and daughter-in-law, my husband bought me a thoughtful present so I 'should' be happy

But I hate, really hate Christmas and have done so ever since I left my first husband. I lost my children, through my own stupidity and selfishness.

I used to love Christmas, and had lovely, happy ones. I was the perfect mother, and then I wasn't

Now I live in another country, my children are happy with their partners and have called me, and that is all I can expect. So I am miserable every Christmas, and have only myself to blame. And it doesn't seem to get better, every year it just seems worse.

My exBF from my teenage years is a full on Lycra clad cyclist and posted a dawn Christmas message featuring him on his very expensive bike on top of some hill this morning. He’s got less than a year old twins that presumably his poor wife was at home looking after. I guess I had a lucky escape!

Mine started out a bit shit as the dog got up at half 4 as I woke up and rolled over to check the time, which was enough to wake him up even though our bedroom is 2 floors up! DH was in a right stress as my parents came for lunch and he was in a flap trying to make everything perfectly tidy. My parents couldn’t give a shit if the house is messy or tidy! His parents are the opposite so I can see where he gets it from but he commented that hosting is stressful and I told him that it’s only because he made it stressful! I wasn’t stressed at all, except for him making me stressed. He had no idea that he’d been snapping at me all morning as I mentioned that he’d been stressing at me all morning and he told me he hadn’t and I’d had a lovely day 🙈. He’s chilled out now though and DS (13) has been so lovely and he’s so pleased with all his presents so it’s all worked out fine.