For those having a crap Christmas- come here and rant

[ReformedWaywardTeen]

Just that really.

Mine are:
Yet again, no Christmas gift from DH. He's had weeks. Ive literally done everything else, every gift, every bit of food planning, been cooking since Friday for it. Not one fucking thing.

My house is damp and crappy, landlord is a wanker so no point asking him as he'd already made comments about our rent being way under the value for houses in the area. Despite the fact the only thing the tosser does each year is a gas check and we've lived here ten years. So I went to put something nice on today as I live in jeans and never go out really bar to the supermarket, to find my tights have rotted through due to damp. The back of the drawer they were in is disgusting but I didn't realise as it's not a drawer in regular use. So now, fuck all to wear.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

DD very obviously didn't like their gifts. It's difficult to know what to get them as they're an older teen, and don't conform to typical teen fashion from PLT and the likes. They barely smiled at anything but have said it was all nice they just don't have to jump around about gifts as they're not a little kid anymore.

DS is unwell with a cold. He's really trying to get in the spirit but can tell he'd rather be in bed bless him.

So yes, if you're having a shit time and can't say anything to your nearest and dearest, say it here.

Sending love to all❤
I'm just really grumpy. My head is throbbing and my 3yo woke me up at 6am, and i haven't eaten all day. Haven't opened any presents, i'll leave them till tomorrow. Family is having xmas lunch right now. At least my Dh is doing it all.
I feel so bad, I didnt want my kids to have this christmas.

The only thing which brightened my day was DD bringning me waffles with chocolate sauce, and tea (which had plenty of sugar in!!)

@girlfriend44 in the nicest possible way, may you shit a hedgehog.

I've been sick with a virus/secondary infections for 5 weeks - off work for much of it. Finally better this week after a blood clot scare and then ds and DH come down with a worse virus. I'm isolating from them as still on antibiotics and I just can't get ill again - DH spent the day and yesterday on a camp bed with a high fever. Ds (13 ) is downstairs . Managed to cook sausages and pasta quickly so we're fed.

Ds and I will watch 'ghosts' tonight, him downstairs and me upstairs.

My heart goes out to those of you who have lost loved ones and others who are having a really hard time.

My Christmas is perfectly pleasant because I have a toddler who is the best thing. But I think I decided I'm leaving my husband and that is...not so cheerful? Eh. He's been rubbish and I think it's the nail in our coffin.

@Flavourflava 💐 I'm sorry to hear this.

(Toddler Christmas is great fun though)

Ive got a terrible cough and cold. I have no desire to eat or drink. Youngest is never a great eater but has decided today she won't eat anything all (usually does love a roast dinner).

Eldest is normally a cracking eater and a joy at christmas - appreciates everything, loves the food etc. They are also ill and haven't wanted to eat.

My parents are here, normally lovely, great with the kids, helpful guests. But my mother is of a "grin and bear it" mentality and so i don't get so much as a tea and sympathy from her, I'm told to take as much medicine as we have in the house and soldier on. Father keeps trying to ply me with alcohol which im just not in the mood for.

Tomorrow i would like to go to bed. However instead i have to go to my in laws, where i will have to share a bed with both my kids.

I am with you all.

My 50th birthday was a week before Xmas. Got fuck-all husband didn't even get anything for my 9 yr old for me, my middle one is 16, has pocket money, got me fuck all, not even a card. Only got a present from my daughter. Luckily my sister sent a food hamper and got me a cake, which I put a candle in myself and lit, blew it out and made a wish.

Went onto the GOV website and filed for a divorce. He got served that 3 days later on his birthday, hope it's as memorable for him as my birthday was for me.

I have bought and paid for all gifts, wrapped them, decorated the tree, done the footsteps of snow etc. He didn't show his face til 3pm, just stayed in bed (in the spare room). He said he is cooking dinner, food all prepped, peeled, chopped etc which I did. He is cooking spaghetti Bolognese for Christmas dinner.

He thinks it's getting to me, but the only people he is upsetting is the kids, but to the outside world, he is the victim.

Roll on 20 weeks, seeing a solicitor in the new year, then putting a pin in a map and moving there, for a new start and a new life.

Roll on 2023. The year of change.

God why is Christmas such a let down? My ex (Childs dad) always seems to ruin special occasions birthdays Halloween now Christmas. He went out last night and gets in a mess, so I’ve had vile texts and calls all morning off him. Been trying to not have a panic attack and break down all day, he triggers me so bad the anxiety I get is horrendous. I’ve been in my parents trying to act normal and force my tea down. Just dropped my daughter off at her other nans, her dad was there hed been asleep all day so said he was better. I hate being anywhere near him feel like I can’t breath. So I said I’ll leave her for a bit if that’s ok will pick her up about 6? And he goes ‘what you think she’d just get her presents and fuck off back home with you to play happy families with your new man’ I’ve just had to walk out drove home crying and now I’m sat on the couch still in my coat crying my eyes out . I still need to go back to my parents said id be back for desert and to bring the presents home, you can tell I’ve been crying though. Cannot wait to get my pjs on later and just get into bed. Sending love to everyone having a shit day today!

So sorry to read of some of the situations on here. Sending gentle hugs.

I am coming down with a terrible cold, got the shivers despite cold relief etc. We are on MIL duty (she is declining and in bed all the time now); that means we also have to deal with SIL who is an addict. It has been the elephant in the room for years, but DD21 won't have it not acknowledged anymore. She is right, but not sure what anyone can actually do unless SIL is willing to acknowledge it. So have a sense of doom. DH is dealing with it by doing all the cooking etc which I appreciate but makes me feel sad as I know he is feeling low. Kids being great really.

Ugh. The expectations of Christmas make the stresses and strains that much worse.

I'm ill. DS is ill. DH is so frightened of getting ill, he decamped to our caravan. He has health anxiety and Covid seems to have tipped him over the edge but it's also a convenient way for him to completely disengage with us and avoid doing anything. He popped his head in to see DS opening presents, decided we'd be better just video-calling him and then fucked off.
I've spent all week getting by on hardly any sleep (DS running a fever and vomiting for 3 days). It's the first year since I lost my mum and the first year without a family home to go to. And, for the first year ever I haven't got dressed up for Christmas. I feel like for the last twenty years I've worked against DH's inherent Scrooge attitude to Christmas to make it wonderful and I'm just done. DS has lovely presents. I've popped the turkey in the oven and I'm cuddled up in bed. It just all feels a bit meh and I miss my mum.

What a long thread! I am sorry so many are having a miserable Christmas. 😥

We all have covid. Absolutely destroyed by it. I can hardly bloody type! So our guests can't come and I haven't even the energy to wrap presents yet! Only put the tree up this am.

Sending ❤️ to everyone having a cr*p day

grieving my miscarriage of our much longed for IVF baby, first pregnancy in 4 years and I lost it, and having to put a Christmas face on, another long wait to start again and dreading 2023

Wine to all

My ex used to be just like this. Dd is 19 now and I am so glad I never have to talk to the fucker ever again. Disengage and block as much as you can. Don’t respond unless it’s literally related to contact times etc.

Can I just say I started this thread because we all sometimes have stuff we would love to say but literally get close to piercing our own bloody lip for biting it and not saying anything at all.
This was the no judgement space we all need sometimes when we are putting on that brave face to get it out, and hopefully, feel a tiny bit better (or in my case not ring DHs bloody selfish neck)
I'm so aware that some people's situation is far worse than my own. And that some have what appears to be trivial issues in comparison to others. However, it was not started as a competitive thread of who is having the shortest Christmas.
After I wrote the post, I went downstairs, had a very disgustingly early gin, put on my heels and got on with the day. I still would like to swear at DH but what's the point?

So for those who got the natural of the thread, whether you had something to add to it or not, and however minor or major that was, love to you all in a very non-MN way.

To those who think we are all dreadful and want to bring Ukraine and such in, bore off to you.

@ReformedWaywardTeen thank you for the thread.

More gin here

@Watermelonsugarbye I'm so very sorry 💐 unMumsnetty hug.

Thank you ❤️

@MontyBoston thank you ❤️

I second this .

Thank you.

With regards to the gifts for the children, my husband and I think very differently on them. There were a few things I wanted to get the children so I did. They gifts were all from both of us, except some personalised Emma Bridgewater mugs I got them which I put were just from me. Husband also has a habit of buying things for himself and giving them to me to wrap and then give to him for Christmas as well, so there were a few of those as well 🙄

He also isn't keen on stockings, so I'm in charge of those. If I didn't do it, there'd be nothing to put in them. The children love them. He also spends loads on our son but is pretty clueless when it comes to girls toys, so I usually have to go out and supplement my daughters gifts because otherwise she wouldn't get nearly as much as my son

Such a sad but heart felt thread. Christmas is so emotional. So many struggle with it. X

💐💐 and ((( ❤️))) to everyone having a shit time for whatever reason - especially to those struggling with the bastard big C.

Big squeeze to a fone who has lost someone or generally feeling off today.

Written down I’m having a much better Christmas than a lot on this thread, but I feel so incredibly lonely.

I’m single with no family left. I’m spending Christmas with a friends family who have been incredibly welcoming, there’s been lovely food and plenty of wine etc., but I don’t think I’ve ever felt sadder about my family (or lack of) situation. I have a pretty full life so can normally muddle through ok but Christmas just makes everything worse.

Anyone not fone. 🙈

I hope you’ve finally found some peace after all these years, it’s bloody awful dealing with abusive ex partners isn’t it 😔 sounds terrible to wish the years away my daughters only four but I can’t wait till she’s older so I don’t have to deal with him no more. I’m waiting to be referred to MH team with ptsd so don’t like to be around him. but Ive bit my tongue and followed his orders today otherwise everyone will feel his wrath and everyone’s day would be ruined then! Wish you all the best for the future!