For those having a crap Christmas- come here and rant

[ReformedWaywardTeen]

Just that really.

Mine are:
Yet again, no Christmas gift from DH. He's had weeks. Ive literally done everything else, every gift, every bit of food planning, been cooking since Friday for it. Not one fucking thing.

My house is damp and crappy, landlord is a wanker so no point asking him as he'd already made comments about our rent being way under the value for houses in the area. Despite the fact the only thing the tosser does each year is a gas check and we've lived here ten years. So I went to put something nice on today as I live in jeans and never go out really bar to the supermarket, to find my tights have rotted through due to damp. The back of the drawer they were in is disgusting but I didn't realise as it's not a drawer in regular use. So now, fuck all to wear.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

DD very obviously didn't like their gifts. It's difficult to know what to get them as they're an older teen, and don't conform to typical teen fashion from PLT and the likes. They barely smiled at anything but have said it was all nice they just don't have to jump around about gifts as they're not a little kid anymore.

DS is unwell with a cold. He's really trying to get in the spirit but can tell he'd rather be in bed bless him.

So yes, if you're having a shit time and can't say anything to your nearest and dearest, say it here.

Got covid feel like crap plus being on the toilet all day didn't help... Bah humbug

Lost my job a week ago. Had to give important speech at a Christmas event today and completely fluffed it due to stress. Got the period from hell bang on Christmas morning. Spent loads on presents for DH, who did not appreciate or reciprocate. Both parents very ill with covid. Ugh.

And after all the emergency vet etc the cat died a little while ago, so merry fucking Christmas.

Back in A&E with DP, his oxygen levels have fallen through the floor again.

My Mum is an extremely difficult person. The only time I see her is Xmas. I’m on mumsnet as a way to distract myself, I usually barely use the site.

My baby's Dad (now split) was demeaning and offensively rude to me as he was leaving. He's a selfish narcissist but I was in tears after he left. Following on from that my (almost as) narcissistic mother gave me a load of abuse as I went round there late afternoon and not when it suited her. Came home and just cried. Worst Christmas Day I've had. Next year I have to be away from them both.

I was having a really nice Christmas with family - phone call about 6pm from police saying that my shop (I'm a small business owner) was being broken into.
Arrived at the shop to meet the police - they were lovely, but told me I wouldn't be happy when I viewed the CCTV. My shop was broken into by my ex - the father of my 3 (fairly) young children. He was caught leaving the shop.
We (my DH and I) haven't told the kids - but they are due to see him tomorrow.
He'll have been released on bail - but I just feel so upset about the whole situation. He's always desperate for money and has become such a pathetic character over the last few years. When we were together, years ago, he was always heavily into drink, drugs, there was intermittent DV and general aggressive behaviour - but now he's like a shambling mess.
The kids love him - but often don't like him.
I had children with him, knowing his massive failings as a human-being, so I feel guilt and sadness that this is the father that I've 'given' my lovely kids.
Hey ho - onwards and upwards. I have a wonderful family and many things to be grateful for.
Sending love and hugs to anyone who needs them.

I'm so sorry.

Every Christmas my family asks me to bring a treat — cookies, pie, a cake.
Every year they find something to criticize about it, to purposely embarrass me. They make an effort at this. I don’t know why I’ve put up with it for for so long.
This year, instead of giving up, I took my dish to the most elegant, most popular bakery in the city and paid a fortune for them to make an apple cake in my dish.
Sure enough, the criticisms began: too dense, too many apples, not enough spices, blah blah blah. I didn’t say a word. They hardly ate any of it.
When I left, I said, “by the way - Bishop’s made that apple cake.” Their faces were worth the $90. I left with my apple cake in tow.
I won’t be attending any more family dinners.
Families can suck. F**k em.

To the posters whose Christmases were sad, I’m so very sorry - my heart is with you. To the posters whose families are cruel, I empathize.

@MyMumSaysALot my family are like yours. I am NC with my chef sister and my mum is no longer with us. Good on you re the cake. If you go next year buy the cheapest cake you can. Funny how bullies think they have superior taste buds. I did something similar once with a triffle. Plonked it in my crystal bowl. Silly sods didn't know the difference.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

I feel this. I empathise most sincerely. My dad and stepmother used to make similar comments to me as a girl and a teen. As a result, I have never ever felt pretty, acceptable or any other thing. I see myself as a sort of troll lumbering through, never feminine, never beautiful, weird face, annoying voice, horrible figure. And I think every single compliment I get is a joke or a pitying remark.

Oh god yes! This!

When we got married, I was so happy to, but the whole dress thing and being centre of attention filled me with abject horror.

I'm probably one of very few people who was chuffed with lockdown indirectly, as my absolutely lovely eldest sister in law had planned on keeping a family tradition on DJs side or buying the dress and taking the bride to be out for a lovely day out. The idea of trying on dresses, in public, and in front of her made me feel so anxious, to the point of wanting to be sick. And then, the week before it had been planned, the first lockdown started.

In the end I got my dress from eBay, it was lovely but I'm not great at clothes on any normal day and feel silly in most things, like mutton dressed as lamb. Everyone commiserated over me not having my yes to the dress style moment but internally I was pleased!

And now, I can barely look at the photos. I think I look dreadful. My hair stylist cancelled the week before so was stuffed there. I think I look fat and manly in all the photos so I don't have any on the wall other than one of DH and the DCs who all looked amazing.

Deep down, I know I'm being stupid, hyper critical and letting my anxiety rule me. But I literally grew up with being told how I was ugly, too tall, too broad shouldered and the best one was when I dressed up for a school function and she told me I looked like a drag Queen (except she didn't say that term, she used a very outdated slur beginning with T and ending in Y). I was also bullied at school over my looks.

DH bless him does compliment me but again, in my head it's him trying to be nice.

It's bloody horrid isn't it? I've had counselling over the years but it's done nothing, I don't think anything can ever take away someone who should build you up knocking you down.

I just wanted to say thank you to @ReformedWaywardTeen for starting this thread giving me somewhere to vent then get my head back in the game for rest of the day and to @CheeseyOnionPie for the sympathy and realising that yes being upset was normal.

I'm sorry so many people are having so a bad time and I hope where it can it improves next year.

I was just blind sided - had a think today as cats have been very affectionate to day unlike them pinning me down- and I need to make some changes - joining the nearby sliming club and few other things.

I don't look at my wedding pictures or have any up- family were very difficult - though the day itself wasn't terrible we've had better and I don't think I looked great and it felt no-one was that bothered with me the bride. However there have been many better days since then and have some photos from them - often just luck of angle as apparently my jaw not right for photos.

Got nothing at all from dh, Kids or father in law. Feeling a bit hurt as I spent a fortune on the kids. And they had a big AI holiday thrown in just before Xmas. Dh hated his Paul smith tie and his other bits. Kids loved their gifts but as they are 16 and 18 I expected something. Husband is blaming me for being upset that he got me nothing. And I’m not a martyr. I’m just hurt.

Hi Op
Brilliant thread 💡 idea, thank you for thinking of it,and doing it,
I have very mixed feelings at times about this time too.