For those having a crap Christmas- come here and rant

[ReformedWaywardTeen]

Just that really.

Mine are:
Yet again, no Christmas gift from DH. He's had weeks. Ive literally done everything else, every gift, every bit of food planning, been cooking since Friday for it. Not one fucking thing.

My house is damp and crappy, landlord is a wanker so no point asking him as he'd already made comments about our rent being way under the value for houses in the area. Despite the fact the only thing the tosser does each year is a gas check and we've lived here ten years. So I went to put something nice on today as I live in jeans and never go out really bar to the supermarket, to find my tights have rotted through due to damp. The back of the drawer they were in is disgusting but I didn't realise as it's not a drawer in regular use. So now, fuck all to wear.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

DD very obviously didn't like their gifts. It's difficult to know what to get them as they're an older teen, and don't conform to typical teen fashion from PLT and the likes. They barely smiled at anything but have said it was all nice they just don't have to jump around about gifts as they're not a little kid anymore.

DS is unwell with a cold. He's really trying to get in the spirit but can tell he'd rather be in bed bless him.

So yes, if you're having a shit time and can't say anything to your nearest and dearest, say it here.

Also, other peoples pain and upset are real and so depressing for them. They want sympathy and someone to understand, if you can't do that its better to say nothing then to come in with your moralising.We all know the state of the world, it is not helpful to point that out to poor people who have personal issues tonight now is it?

For those commenting about how different our moans about Christmas are, and how dare we.... I think threads like this are really helpful so people realise they're not on their own, and the whole perfect Christmas is as elusive as a lottery win. Its a reality check for those of us moaning about minor inconveniences when people have it much worse. So personally I'm grateful for all the contributions.

And what have you been doing today to help them? Apart from exploiting them to score crappy internet points?

Mine isn't near as upsetting as some of these, but I've just generally been so down this year. I've just not given a crap about Christmas, but I still went to the effort to make it special for everyone else in my house.

I spent an entire day the other week spending the money I'd saved up over the past few months on gifts for my husband and children. I make 1/4 of what he does for reference and don't have a lot of disposable income. I put a bunch of thought into husbands gifts (5 of them) and spent a couple hundred on him, as well as took the family out for £100 lunch in London for his birthday 2 weeks ago. I also got all of the stocking stuffers and stuffed everyone's stockings including my own. As well as the stuff for the Christmas crackers I made.

Husband goes completely overboard each year on gifts for the children. This year between the 2 children he bought them: a bike, a PS5 gaming steering wheel and pedals, a £360 Lego set, a new iMac computer (apparently it's for all of us, but I will never use it), a wooden toy kitchen, an iPhone (second hand), designer back pack, 2 pairs of slippers, sticker books, novels and books, some games, craft supplies, and I honestly can't even remember what else.

My son was handing out the gifts to everyone to unwrap while I sat there watching them all. My poor lovely boy kept saying how bad he felt because I didn't have any gifts to open. In the end I got a MAC lipstick to me from the dog under the tree, and a small handbag I'd sent him a link to in the Black Friday sales, but he ordered the wrong colour so it has to be sent back anyway.

My son kept on saying how bad he felt for me that I didn't really get anything. The bag was a nice gesture, but it's got to go back.

@girlfriend44

Meanwhile people are dying in America through the cold, there's a war in Ukraine, yesterday a 4 year boy died at Centerparks, kind of puts things into perspective dosent it.

Well I hope you never complain about anything again for the rest of your life as there are starving children in Africa.

Sending much love to all of you. My rant...DH and I have covid. Feeling awful and missing out on baby's first Christmas with the family. And to top it off, I now have a blocked duct which I'm dreading developing into mastitis 😩

@AmazonPrim I am sorry you are so under appreciated by your DH. Maybe next year get him a token gift and spend the money you would have spent on him, on yourself.
And suggest gifts are from both of you. Unless you are separated it is strange to have different presents from mum and dad.

Hey all you lovely people. It's hard with all the expectations and fuss around this day.

I'm at my mum's with my oldest daughter. She's 83, increasingly frail and losing her marbles out of sheer loneliness. Living in her abusive partner's house, reduced to tenant status by his equally charming daughter since his death. No shop in the village, no car and she refuses to move.

She's very good at creating a nice atmosphere and we managed to get a small tree etc, it's nice. But then she comes out with things like her backside hurts because she fell on her sloping driveway on an icy day 3 weeks ago. 'It's much better already'... She's charred two figures in her nativity scene by placing them near a candle and forgetting about it.

Basically she's not safe here and however much I liaise with neighbours and social services, pad her stairs etc. I can't really make her safe.

I’m with my mum who’s grieving my dad. It’s just the two of us. To make it worse this year I had to call the police to break in to a friend’s flat. None of us had heard from him for days. Anyway he was apparently found dead by ambulance crew two days ago. I’m devastated. Had to phone all his friends last night to tell them he’s dead

Just posted a threat but currently sitting with DC concentrating on Lego and not bursting into tears after Christmas dinner was ruined by DH shouting at us all to fuck outselves and fuck off, double middle fingers before going to the pub.

dh has just taken my dad back to the care home.

Two years ago, my dad was fine. Now he’s a
shadow of the person he was, the dementia came on so fast. It’s better than last year though when I had a stand up row on Christmas morning with a duty adult care social worker and the police arrested HER because she tried to punch me (my dad was in respite care when he was first diagnosed, they abused him there it was terrible).

In laws didn’t even give dh a card as I finally had enough of their racism towards me this year, he told them, they punished him in this way.

I fucking hate christmas anyway but this year is testing me.

Difficult relationship with my DC, and my ex whom they live with. Received a fairly vitriolic message from my youngest today. Christmas has always been difficult, more so since the split which was a good while ago now.

it’s made me feel like the worst mother in the world (likely).

I’m sorry and send love to everyone who is having a difficult time, to everyone who has lost someone or who has a challenging relationship with their family, or for whatever reason finds today / is finding today hard.

I'm currently in work for my third Christmas in a row. It's shit thanks to the absolute fucking miser that is the owner (care home). I watched the kids open presents on FaceTime. That was shit.
Nevertheless, next year shall be better. I will not be working here.

First Xmas with a very longed for dd but had a huge dampener put on by MIL deciding to inform us she feels not wanted, all because we decided to do our daughters first birthday on our own and then visit family after (spending entire day with her the day after and to avoid her having to travel through to us). Some of the in laws don't get along, both sets of parents separated so it was just easier for us to say we'll stay home (it's also extremely close after Xmas so things are closed and can't have party).
Messaging all day being a bit guilt tripping about it and now have a sinking feeling in my stomach and can't get over it. Don't like arguments at all. DP has been arguing with some family members recently and I seem to be getting the blame for it despite never getting involved

Christmas ruined by DP sending rude messages to his dad telling him what a shit parent and grandparent he is and being really unkind and rude and getting into an argument then being in a bad mood.

It was just me, DP, DD and my mum and my mums first Christmas since losing her mum a few weeks so wanted to make it extra special but instead DP sulked about presents he got but didn't like, was rude about my mum singing along to a hymn on TV and loudly asked if we could "turn this shit off" and just generally being a horrible grumpy arse

So sorry to everyone that has lost someone special, sending you all love.

We’ve had Covid for over a week so still feeling a bit rough so just me and DH this year. DH wanted to eat Xmas dinner on the sofa as we never sit at the table and complained about me setting up the table. Spent quite a while making the table look nice and Christmassy and trying to make it nice for us and said “do you like the table?” and got a “I’ve already seen it.” Had a couple of mini arguments as he’s been miserable and grumpy all day. Then he’s buggered off to bed and left me cooking the dinner. Sat with a gin watching Gavin and Stacey whilst he sleeps wishing we were well enough to have gone to see family. But hey ho! It could be worse!

Erm not for the posters who have just lost a relative. Are you always this cloth-eared?

I'm heartbroken that my eldest son doesn't have a clue it's Christmas.
He's a young adult now, but just a baby in his mind.
I gave him his presents and he just looked confused and carried on shaking his rattle.
Life is cruel and Christmas highlight just how cruel it is.
I've made the day special for my younger children, out on a brave face, but there will be tears later!

Bless you all

And I am sorry for only commenting on one but AmazonPrim I am not surprised you have been down all year if what you have described is typical of your husband’s character and behaviour.

Just DH and I at home.
we should’ve been at my sisters with our parents - mum has dementia and I worry this might be the last Christmas she knows us.
i have caught the ‘not covid’ bug from DH who was feeling much better but suddenly seems to have got worse now I am ill.
i am on the sofa trying to watch Tv but he keeps turning it over to ‘watch something better’ …. And just as I get into whatever it is … zap! It’s something else.
i cooked him a full English for his brunch. I couldn’t eat mine - it exhausted me. I am planning a Christmas party food buffet for tea.
i feel so poorly I can’t even face chocolate!

i have obviously upset him - he has such a face on him. I just want to go to bed but he has stripped the bed ( colostomy based accident this morning) …. I am trying to lie on the sofa…

fucking hell

condolences to everyone that has suffered loss, either recently so magnified by Christmas, or older losses that are, nonetheless still devastating to you.

To those struggling with family members, I hope you find peace. There are too many expectations crammed into one day.

I feel rubbish because I have a bad cold, but everyone is pulling together, so I know I am lucky.

Thank you for creating a place for those who need it, to have a rant. I’m sorry about your lack of DH gift op and the other issues you are having. DH and I struggle massively over occasions like Christmas and birthdays. Our expectations are very different and there are built up resentments on both sides. In between times we see many things eye to eye and manage to work through problems but I feel very sad today that I don’t see this ever changing, it’s been a really hard few weeks. Sometimes there are solutions but today I just need a moan.

Sigh. Thanks for the thread. Joining you this year. Love to all those going through the same madness.

I miss DC1. They came into this world too soon, born and died on the same day. This is our 2nd Christmas without them. I think part of me died that day too. Sometimes it feels like the rest of me is just waiting to catch up.

DC2 is here this year. I love them with all my heart. I wish I could give them the mum they deserve instead of this shell of a person.

There's one child asleep on me. There should be two.

I saw that thread. Really sorry you are having such a tough day because of his atrocious behaviour. Has he come back yet?

My ex ha ignored his kids to spend the day with his new girlfriend's family, no contact all week and not even a call to say happy Christmas, but you know what, I feel lucky compared to some of the stories on here.