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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For those having a crap Christmas- come here and rant

241 replies

ReformedWaywardTeen · 25/12/2022 11:12

Just that really.

Mine are:
Yet again, no Christmas gift from DH. He's had weeks. Ive literally done everything else, every gift, every bit of food planning, been cooking since Friday for it. Not one fucking thing.

My house is damp and crappy, landlord is a wanker so no point asking him as he'd already made comments about our rent being way under the value for houses in the area. Despite the fact the only thing the tosser does each year is a gas check and we've lived here ten years. So I went to put something nice on today as I live in jeans and never go out really bar to the supermarket, to find my tights have rotted through due to damp. The back of the drawer they were in is disgusting but I didn't realise as it's not a drawer in regular use. So now, fuck all to wear.

I have anxiety about my looks anyway due to my toxic mum who used to call me the ugly sister to my younger half sister. I always think people wonder why DH is with me when I'm fat, ugly and useless, or so my brain tells me, so now when everyone else looks nice I feel like a joke.

DD very obviously didn't like their gifts. It's difficult to know what to get them as they're an older teen, and don't conform to typical teen fashion from PLT and the likes. They barely smiled at anything but have said it was all nice they just don't have to jump around about gifts as they're not a little kid anymore.

DS is unwell with a cold. He's really trying to get in the spirit but can tell he'd rather be in bed bless him.

So yes, if you're having a shit time and can't say anything to your nearest and dearest, say it here.

OP posts:
Emotionalfuckwit · 25/12/2022 12:47

In comparison mine is nothing like many of you. I have always disliked Christmas. Coming from a family that don't celebrate but as a child not understanding this always being crushed when Santa didn't bring me anything.

Spent much of my teens and early 20's working on Christmas days then even after marrying felt this awful loneliness on Xmas day. I initially thought it was because I was desperate for kids and for 7 years it didn't happen for us. Now we have 2 boys and still feels as horrid as previous years.

This year I have spent a lot on sound proofing to block out my neighbours playing smooth radio really loudly... Turns out it hasn't really worked as well as I'd have liked. It triggers my anxiety quite badly. Seems they have decided that Christmas eve and Christmas day are the days they are choosing to do this so now I'm not only miserable, I'm anxious, had no presents again, DH wallowing around ill - again and I can see pictures of the actual love of my life enjoying his day by the beach

Many of you are having a much worse time of it and I'm sorry you are having it tough today and most days 😔

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 25/12/2022 12:47

girlfriend44 · 25/12/2022 12:38

Meanwhile people are dying in America through the cold, there's a war in Ukraine, yesterday a 4 year boy died at Centerparks, kind of puts things into perspective dosent it.

Your post is really out of order. Why even open the thread just to pour scorn on what are some sad and heartbreaking posts. Those posters have opened up for a bit of support, solidarity even - and here you are. Being a twat. Hmm

Wishing everybody on the thread at least one bright spot to the day. Christmas is so full of expectations and the reality is really different in so many cases. Brew

brusselspout · 25/12/2022 12:48

BeansMeansBeans · 25/12/2022 12:45

This feels insignificant in comparison to some truly shit Christmases on here. But here goes

Staying with my parents with DH and toddler DS. The house is so cold (they're very wealthy, btw). We have had 1 cup of mulled wine and are now allowed nothing but sherry. 1 bottle between 7 people. I really need a drink but it tastes like I'm drinking a massive raisin

You should've smuggled some booze in! That's what me and DH do with his mum 😂

FlorenceOrTheMachine · 25/12/2022 12:48

Diagnosed with myelodyplasia a couple of months ago - a rare form of blood cancer. There are various forms of this, with median survival rate between 8 years down to 8 months. Last week got confirmation that genetic testing showed two mutations with "poor survivability" and "poor prognosis" respectively. Nice. Also, my poor (and dearly beloved) GSD rescue pooch has been battling with a malignant nasal tumour which, despite chemotherapy, is now getting rapidly worse. She's tentively booked into the vet on Tuesday for you know what. As a recent Santa based meme goes: "ho, ho, fucking ho".

Sorry - we aren't supposed to mention anything to do with cancer, and I've just mentioned it twice. Bugger.

Angeldelight81 · 25/12/2022 12:50

@Mybloodycat I completely get it and I would encourage you to start putting yourself first a bit more often, because I have had 10 years of them think in the sun shines out of their father’s arse, despite him making them homeless I’m more than one occasion. They never see it. Everybody always says they see it when they grow up and they bloody don’t.

brusselspout · 25/12/2022 12:50

girlfriend44 · 25/12/2022 12:38

Meanwhile people are dying in America through the cold, there's a war in Ukraine, yesterday a 4 year boy died at Centerparks, kind of puts things into perspective dosent it.

Sadness top trumps? Ooh can I play???

Seriously, this thread is for anyone who wants to have a grumble that a day that is often built up to be the best day of the year has turned out a bit shit. For WHATEVER reason. Some minor, some major, but all valid on a personal, individual level. So let us complain, please?

FestiveCrunch · 25/12/2022 12:50

I'm lying on the sofa listening to festive music and drinking coffee with a dash of Baileys. I have no cooking to do or visits to stress over. Just need to decide what film to watch later. Dh is in the same room doing a jigsaw.

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it?

Be careful what you wish for.

The reason we don't celebrate is that our only Ds died suddenly two years ago. The light has gone from our lives. All that remains are shadows and memories and ghosts of a future ripped from us.

I'd give anything to be in some of your shoes today.

susiesuelou · 25/12/2022 12:51

FestiveCrunch · 25/12/2022 12:50

I'm lying on the sofa listening to festive music and drinking coffee with a dash of Baileys. I have no cooking to do or visits to stress over. Just need to decide what film to watch later. Dh is in the same room doing a jigsaw.

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it?

Be careful what you wish for.

The reason we don't celebrate is that our only Ds died suddenly two years ago. The light has gone from our lives. All that remains are shadows and memories and ghosts of a future ripped from us.

I'd give anything to be in some of your shoes today.

Oh my goodness this hit my heart so hard. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss Flowers I can't even begin to imagine. Xx

DumpedByText · 25/12/2022 12:52

Sending love and hugs to all of you who have lost loved ones. My mum passed in August so 1st Christmas without her, so we're all going out for lunch xx

Whaleandsnail6 · 25/12/2022 12:52

So sorry for everyone who have lost loved ones or facing very serious illness.

I was so excited to host this year, had lots of family coming over. I started vomiting after present opening and am now under 3 duvets shivering and puking. Have sent my husband and family to extended family with all the food so at least they can have a nice day but I'm so disappointed.
Today and tomorrow are my only days off work as well (I'm a nurse) so whilst I will hopefully be well enough to return to work, that's my Christmas break over.

Deathraystare · 25/12/2022 12:54

@SafeMove

Not much help this year but your partner/Husband is a rare breed. You MUST hire him out next year. There are plenty of women on Mumsnet with totally useless plonkers who would pay any amount for some help!! Of course, he would be spread very, very thinly!

PurpleParrotfish · 25/12/2022 12:54

Thinking of all of you on this thread having to deal with grief, illness, or those supposed to care for you behaving like shit Flowers

Smashingpumpkinsatchristmas · 25/12/2022 12:59

VioletLemon · 25/12/2022 12:30

Here is someone wishing you Merry Christmas ⛄.
Sorry things are shit. Do things you like and try to forget about guy with the habit. Better days will come.

Thank you so much for your kind words,that made me smile 💚

Collywibbles · 25/12/2022 12:59

GalwayShawl · 25/12/2022 11:23

My mum’s funeral was on Monday

my dad is taunting me about her death

one of my sisters has been appalling dismissive and nasty

I am heartbroken

I am so very sorry. They both sound vile. Yes grief affects people in strange ways but they both sound plain nasty. Can you leave them to it and go out for a walk?

lurker2003 · 25/12/2022 13:00

Very insignificant compared to other posts on this thread but my boyfriend told me the roast potatos were done so i’ve gone to check and they’re black and rock hard!
Now having to make more so everything’s going cold whilst I do that so gonna end up having to reheat everything which isn’t going to be great.

yoyo1234 · 25/12/2022 13:02

Me and toddler up. Teenager in bed (still?). DH working. Done nothing Christmassy yet . Was going to have DF and his DP round but he decided earlier in week not to visit etc as toddler has chicken pox (please note DF will have had it as likely had shingles few years ago and had no issue with other children etc and as a family me and siblings have had it ).

yoyo1234 · 25/12/2022 13:04

Sorry, Only Christmassy thing i have done is texting others .

PocketRainbow · 25/12/2022 13:07

Might sound trivial but my mum has had 2 meltdowns in the last 24hrs in front of me, crying, blaming me for ‘destroying things and all her graft for the past 3 decades’ because I won’t go over to spend Christmas Day night with my narcissistic sister like she and my dad are doing. Felt utterly crap to watch her so upset but all the accusations directed towards me were wild. I can’t even be upset at her as she has spoiled me and DH absolutely rotten. Just feel so unfestive and really quite sad.

womblesofwimbledon87 · 25/12/2022 13:08

My best friend died recently.

DP never got me a present this year for the first time in 16 years, not sure what that means.

I woke up with a UTI and the last time that happened I had bladder pain for 2 years.

womblesofwimbledon87 · 25/12/2022 13:09

I am grateful to God for everything I have been blessed with though.

Afterfire · 25/12/2022 13:15

Anonymouslyposting · 25/12/2022 12:42

No fun here either.

At the in laws and so far zero sign of any food at all - I’m nine months pregnant and am going to start chewing the table if there’s not even a mince pie or something soon. Present from in laws was the rejects from MiL’s beauty advent calendar - I don’t wear makeup and they didn’t even take them out of the numbered boxes so it was very clear what they were. DH has done most of DC’s stocking with her even though I bought absolutely everything.

Constant criticism of two year old DD (well, really of our parenting rather than her), no food provided for her and lunch timed for right in the middle of her nap.

Nothing major just generally disappointing and unChristmassy.

That’s terrible! Reminds me of the Christmases we used to have at my pils before we went no contact with them (not just for that, but all kinds of things). Once they gave me a set of little silver metal spurs that you put into jacket potatoes with cowboy hats to make them look like cowboys… which would have been a fun gift had she not given everyone else more thoughtful and expensive things and I got this weird one 🤷‍♀️🙄 😆

SerenaB12 · 25/12/2022 13:19

Big hugs and positive wishes to you all .. 🌺

MyOtherCarIsAHearse · 25/12/2022 13:21

I’m so sorry to all of you who are struggling (for whatever reason!) today.

i just don’t feel that well today. Christmas is a struggle for me anyway because of childhood stuff, so little things can end up feeling monumental. OH has had the flu bug the last few days and though he’s much brighter today and very much trying, I feel worn out. I didn’t sleep well last night and I got my period this morning, so I’m also cramping and having minor seizures (triggered by period). I feel I’m unwarranted to moan compared to many and I have many things to be grateful for today. But I am having to keep telling myself to just breathe and be easy today.

Xtraincome · 25/12/2022 13:24

To anyone on this thread who just wants to talk about anything else other than Xmas, DM me and I will ping you back over the day to distract you.

We usually have easy going Xmases. Have suffered huge loss throughout our lives but stay buoyant by leaning on each other. I appreciate not everyone has this luxury. Sending love to everyone 💗

JadeSeahorse · 25/12/2022 13:24

FellOnMyArseToDay · 25/12/2022 12:25

Landlord just before Xmas told us he is selling up. Hence a made rush to find a new place to rent. Applied for a new place got turned down so January will be a mad panic to find a reasonable priced place to rent. But I’m with my lovely housemate for Xmas and I’m lucky to have them here. I think there needs to be a cull on landlord s though. Fucking greedy bastards. Hope everyone’s day improves and being get better. X. Thinking of you all Christmas can be so blady hard

My best friend and her partner are experiencing exactly the same.

Such a twatty thing to do just before Christmas.🤬 Fingers crossed you find somewhere very soon as I know how worrying this is from supporting friend who lives in London and I'm 300 miles away.☹️