MIL changing Christmas plans at the last minute

[ShittyGlitter]

Sorry a PIL one. PIL and other family (all between 1-2hour away) are coming to ours. We have DC 8 and 10 looking forward to them coming. Food is prepared and ready to be thrown in the oven tomorrow.

MIL is upset on the phone to SIL and DH that she wants everyone to come to hers (no real reason other than her own comfort) Except she doesn't want to host! So no food, and we'd be bloody lucky to get a drink as she typically has a single bottle of wine in at a time.

She did this a few years back, where she insisted we all come to hers that year. We happily excepted and brought some food nibbles, cheeses, drinks etc. MIL had a complete melt down as she hadn't bought any actual food. So we all survived on the stuff we had brought, thankfully enough for everyone, but not a Christmas meal by any stretch!

I felt bad as I thought maybe we had misunderstood the invite, but no she just didn't have time to buy food or drinks.

So now on Christmas bloody Eve she's wheezing on the phone wanting another go at it.

I'm annoyed as obviously have gone to a lot of trouble to prepare everything. Asked DH does she have everything to host? Apparently MIL has proposed I just bring everything I have prepared to hers! As clearly she hasn't had the time pick anything seeing as she's decided 5 fecking minutes ago!!!

Now I would say I'm reasonably flexible, but she'll be wanting me still to cook it all too! her kitchen cookware is minimal and from the 70s. There's no serving plates and I'll bet not enough cutlery, she's the type to have four forks, knifes etc only in the drawer.

DH feels really tied, SIL is trying to see what she can get at the last minute and I feel like the grinch as no one wants to say no to this crazy idea except me.

What am I supposed to do here!?

Either tell her the DC's are looking forward to Christmas at home, or take everything with you - crockery, cutlery, the works.

Absolutely not. Shes welcome to come to yours or stay at home by herself but you arent taking everything to hers. Ridiculous to make that decision on Christmas Eve

You say no. You're not changing plans last minute and your invite to host is still open to those who want to attend.

Then you don't engage any more.

Easy, you just say no!

Your husband is torn between sticking up for his wife and a crazy, hideous idea?? Weird.

Say no, it’s too late to change plans, they’re still welcome to come to yours but otherwise you’ll see them another time. Your DH needs to grow a backbone, his mum is being so rude.

Sod that. I would say you are cooking at your house and it’s up to the others if they come or not

I would just say no, its too late in the day now.

If she wants to do it next year then fair enough

That's plain rude. She accepted an invitation, she should follow through

This is a situation where ‘no’ is a complete sentence.

Just say No. Why is her happiness more important than yours/your kids?

It is too late to change plans. Simply say No.

That’s ridiculous. Say no, it’s far too late to change the plans now. Perhaps next year we can come to you. Be firm. You should absolutely not all pander to her whines

'Sorry no, dh dc and I will be staying here. Please let us know if any of you will be joining us.'

It's so frustrating that the burden so often falls on women. If DH feels obligated to fall in with this plan then at the very least, surely it's his job to cook.

No, no, no! That is so unreasonable.

So unreasonable! I’d say you can all do what you like but we’re staying here with our food!

Whoever moans or cries the most in a family seems to get what they want. It pisses me right off.

Your dh needs to tell her to cop on. Everything is sorted for your home and it's a pain to transfer to hers and expect to cook in a kitchen that's not your own. She can do it next year with a bit of help prepping and shopping.

Hell no, does she somehow want to 'claim the glory' for hosting but not actually do any hosting?! Stay home and tell dh he can go if he wants but the food stays with you! @ShittyGlitter

NO.

Your food doesn't leave your house until it's been eaten!

She has the choice. Either she comes to you as planned or she stays away.

Why is your MILs suggestion even being considered. This is insane behaviour. Just say that you would love to have her over as previously arranged but if she wants to stay at home that's up to her.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous what's wrong with you that you're even considering this?!

Wait... you all went to hers when she wanted to hoat and arranged to host but she didnt have any xmas dinner for anyone? At what point did she tell you all?

Did she actually wait until everyone was there and all shops closed before admitting she had no food?

And this year, you're hosting and it is all sorted and arranged and now she wants you to all go to hers?

This is a really easy one. You send a group text, "Hi everyone, this is a ridiculous situation. We're cooking xmas dinner here. Everyone is welcome. We wont be changing plans and bringing all the food and everything to MILs house. There is absolutely no point to that when we are ready and I am the one cooking so will be doing it in my own kitchen. I hope to see you all tomorrow but it is totally up to you if you decide to stay home."

What the fucking hell. No absolutely not, no way. Insane.

Tell her it's to short notice and you will be sticking to the original plans.

So she waits til all the shops are closed.....hmmm

This was planned

Clearly you've had a skinfull and would both still be over the limit in the morning 😈

Although I imagine you'll hit the gin shortly so it won't be a lie.