MIL changing Christmas plans at the last minute

[ShittyGlitter]

Sorry a PIL one. PIL and other family (all between 1-2hour away) are coming to ours. We have DC 8 and 10 looking forward to them coming. Food is prepared and ready to be thrown in the oven tomorrow.

MIL is upset on the phone to SIL and DH that she wants everyone to come to hers (no real reason other than her own comfort) Except she doesn't want to host! So no food, and we'd be bloody lucky to get a drink as she typically has a single bottle of wine in at a time.

She did this a few years back, where she insisted we all come to hers that year. We happily excepted and brought some food nibbles, cheeses, drinks etc. MIL had a complete melt down as she hadn't bought any actual food. So we all survived on the stuff we had brought, thankfully enough for everyone, but not a Christmas meal by any stretch!

I felt bad as I thought maybe we had misunderstood the invite, but no she just didn't have time to buy food or drinks.

So now on Christmas bloody Eve she's wheezing on the phone wanting another go at it.

I'm annoyed as obviously have gone to a lot of trouble to prepare everything. Asked DH does she have everything to host? Apparently MIL has proposed I just bring everything I have prepared to hers! As clearly she hasn't had the time pick anything seeing as she's decided 5 fecking minutes ago!!!

Now I would say I'm reasonably flexible, but she'll be wanting me still to cook it all too! her kitchen cookware is minimal and from the 70s. There's no serving plates and I'll bet not enough cutlery, she's the type to have four forks, knifes etc only in the drawer.

DH feels really tied, SIL is trying to see what she can get at the last minute and I feel like the grinch as no one wants to say no to this crazy idea except me.

What am I supposed to do here!?

Christmas is happening at yours - the end .

No way! How bloody rude!

Why are you even giving this any headspace OP?

It's beyond bizarre to try to change hosting arrangements on Christmas Eve. Even odder that SIL didn't explain this to her clearly in words of one syllable when she started yakking on about it today. Surely a more appropriate response at that point was to point out you would already have bought all the stuff, that she could host next year or have you all round on Boxing Day.

You’d be a fool to go OP.

Christmas is for children and you’ve said yours are really looking forward to it all tomorrow. Don’t spoil their day for a spoiled in law who expects to click her fingers and you all jump. Let your SIL go over and sit eating nothing all day but your DH needs to be at home with you and your children.

This is making me feel stressed too.
It's gone 8 pm on Christmas Eve - and she's unsettling everyone's plans!
The answer is NO.

Lol. no.

As @BatshitBanshee said - "When SIL and DH are doing the planning, the buying, the preparing and the cooking then they get an opinion. Until then they can run off to their mum's and leave a lovely Christmas dinner behind them while they pour out a singular bottle of wine over an empty fringe. This carry on gives me absolute rage."

She's 101% right.

It gives me the rage too.

Also tell your DH to recall that it was you he married, not his own batshit crazy mother. So he should be putting YOUR feelings first.

Is there something wrong with her? That behaviour is not normal

Oh my fucking god, what? Just no!

@ShittyGlitter - OP, it is after 8pm on xmas eve, everything is ready to host at yours AS ARRANGED and you have 2 children still at an age where Christmas is magical and they are expecting it at home. You need to knock this on the head now by making it clear to everyone that plans are not changing. Do not get into any arguments (including either your DH). This is crazy, you are not going to entertain this silliness and you are going to have a drink, go to bed and wake up tomorrow and enjoy your day. Leave the rest to it of that is what the want but do not let this drama ruin your day (which it sounds like you have put a lot of effort into preparing) or that of your children. Just do not engage and make the decision that you and the children will have a great time whatever! Stay calm and refuse to talk about it any further- even if it is to DH.

Surely your DH and SIL can see how ridiculous she's being demanding at 7pm on Christmas Eve that everyone now goes to hers??? How can your DH seriously be thinking of putting her whining before your DCs' excitement? I'd be saying flat out no. If he wants to schlep over there with a bowl of Brussel sprouts he can knock himself out, but you are staying at home with all the food and so are your kids. Hold firm!

'Don't be silly mil, it's far too late notice to change the plans. See you tomorrow at x o'clock at ours as planned'

No way! What is her rationale for wanting you to come?
Short of illness plans are fixed by the time it's Xmas eve!

No chance would I entertain this. Let her have her own meltdown and have your Christmas at home as planned.
Whoever doesn’t turn up, doesn’t turn up otherwise this will keep happening.

OP stop ruining our Christmas days. Tell us you have stood your ground so we can relax.

This- straightforward and non negotiable, no room for any attempt at any emotional blackmail from her!
This whole situation is utterly ridiculous!

She can fuck off

I'm getting stressed reading this. WTF!?

Many more polite posts ahead of the thread. I'd say no. Let everyone know the plans are still the same for you to cook dinner at yours. Everyone is welcome as before, but you won't be traveling on Christmas day/ you understand if others cannot make it.

I wouldn’t go. No way.

if you do give in and go, have nothing to do with the cooking, your DH and his sister can cook.

Nope, fuck that. She's a proven shit host. Why would anyone choose something like that for Christmas?

No no no

Simple

oh I can sympathise OP! We’re hosting this year, everything all organised and tonight my mum has started backtracking. She was coming tomorrow and staying til Boxing Day so only one night. But now it’s a hassle, she doesn’t ‘want to be a burden’ 🙄

SIL'll be lucky at 7pm on 24/12. All that's open round us is the Tesco Express, supermarkets shut at 6.

She sounds an absolute nightmare. Do not give in and do not let her ruin your Xmas Eve. Say you’ve bought everything, she can join you if she wants to and if not, you’ll see her another time. How rude to try and change plans at the last minute when you’ve been so welcoming to her.

Something tells me this behaviour is deliberate. Is she generally quite difficult? Does she often have form for sabotaging your plans?