MIL changing Christmas plans at the last minute

[ShittyGlitter]

Sorry a PIL one. PIL and other family (all between 1-2hour away) are coming to ours. We have DC 8 and 10 looking forward to them coming. Food is prepared and ready to be thrown in the oven tomorrow.

MIL is upset on the phone to SIL and DH that she wants everyone to come to hers (no real reason other than her own comfort) Except she doesn't want to host! So no food, and we'd be bloody lucky to get a drink as she typically has a single bottle of wine in at a time.

She did this a few years back, where she insisted we all come to hers that year. We happily excepted and brought some food nibbles, cheeses, drinks etc. MIL had a complete melt down as she hadn't bought any actual food. So we all survived on the stuff we had brought, thankfully enough for everyone, but not a Christmas meal by any stretch!

I felt bad as I thought maybe we had misunderstood the invite, but no she just didn't have time to buy food or drinks.

So now on Christmas bloody Eve she's wheezing on the phone wanting another go at it.

I'm annoyed as obviously have gone to a lot of trouble to prepare everything. Asked DH does she have everything to host? Apparently MIL has proposed I just bring everything I have prepared to hers! As clearly she hasn't had the time pick anything seeing as she's decided 5 fecking minutes ago!!!

Now I would say I'm reasonably flexible, but she'll be wanting me still to cook it all too! her kitchen cookware is minimal and from the 70s. There's no serving plates and I'll bet not enough cutlery, she's the type to have four forks, knifes etc only in the drawer.

DH feels really tied, SIL is trying to see what she can get at the last minute and I feel like the grinch as no one wants to say no to this crazy idea except me.

What am I supposed to do here!?

Oh she can't make it? That's a shame. Well she knows where the free food is if she wants some

Fuck that for a game of soldiers

How can DH even be dithering after the last dabacle?! What did he say then?

Everyone just panders to her. Stop pandering and she can't pull this shit

Of course you don't agree to it! Are you all mad??

You need to get DH to say no to his mother.

If he won’t, them he can fuck off to hers alone, and you have all the food with your kids.

Do not let him take any food with him.

My response would be three words:

"Er... fuck, no."

You say no.

Is she just having a mad wobble or what? SO odd, stick to having it at yours!

"No, that doesn't work for us"

Just refuse. And if it’s brought up by her then tell her what a fuckwitted idea it was.

A week before Christmas this sudden suggested change would annoy me, but Christmas eve? Christ no, get lost!

No, she's being an arse don't reward it and make a rod for your own back.

Another thread about food etc.
Don't forget the real reson behind Christmas. Having said that the only reason we celebrate it is excess food, drink, banter, more food, drink, presents and getting over the buying of presents etc with more food and drink - thats the Christmas spirt.

I don’t really understand why anyone is even considering her request. Is there a reason DH and SiL haven’t just said to her “Mum, we love you but don’t be ridiculous, it’s Christmas Eve and this has been planned for weeks.”

This.

And wow... How is this ridiculous idea even being entertained. No. We will collect you tomorrow as planned. End.

No!! The only thing she has to do is get to you. You tell her to come to you, that the Dc want Christmas at home, that it's too late to change plans but she can host next year...

No, I've already prepped the food, cleaned the house. It's all ready to go. YANBU

WTF is her problem? Wants to be the hostess without doing anything that actually involves hosting?

A hard NO FUCKING WAY from me. Don't be mugged off OP.

Why are you even half considering this? Good lord some peoples boundaries are frightening!!!

And your kids get to spend 2-4 hours in the car tomorrow? Lucky them. Your husband definitely needs to set this straught, why is it even being considered? Ridiculous pandering to MIL.

Just no. She can't insist on changing plans like that on Christmas Eve. If she actually would have got all the stuff in and prepared everything, I'd find it annoying but go to keep the peace. But with zero preparation it's really not on for you having to take everything over there and the cook in her kitchen. What is her reason for changing plans last minute?

Just say no! And tell your DH he’s free to go there for Christmas dinner but you and the kids won’t be as you aren’t prepared to be manipulated by her (and make clear to the rest of the family who were attending that their invite stands). Don’t bow down to her or she will do this every year!

This.

It would be a NO from me, there is no way I would even give head room to such a batshit request.

So rude of her! Tell her to do one and stay home

Absolutely do not give in! It sounds like a clear recipe for misery for everyone!

Continue with your plans, and she can come or not.

Just say no it's too late to change plans as you've bought everything and don't want it to go to waste. Suggest that she makes plans earlier next year. Ask other family to let you know asap if they are still coming so that you can cook the right amount.