Christmas tears and fucking festivities

[lookingforafantasy]

Is there anyone else who is just wanting it to be over? My family are sat in the kitchen playing games and I am sat in the lounge quietly sobbing to myself, wishing it was Boxing Day already. This time last year I was on an amazing holiday with the person I thought I'd marry, I'm now just coming out the other end of a painful/abusive breakup with this man. On top of that, my sister has upset me.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to have to pretend I'm feeling festive. I don't want to have to pretend that my heart isn't aching. I don't want to pretend that my sister hasn't upset me. I don't want to pretend I'm okay ffs.

This is a terribly morbid thread, I know, but is anyone else's day feeling a similar way?

Much love & big hugs to everyone who's having a shit time right now. Hang in there, it's nearly over. 2023 is a week away, we can brush ourselves down & start again ❤️🎄❤️

My dh has been like a bear with a sore head since yesterday. No fucking idea why and if he doesn't want to say, l am not even going to pander to him.

Usually l give more fucks but actually, he hasn't asked how my mum got on at hospital today, nor if l need any help with dinner so quite frankly, he can jog on while l try and enjoy the day.

Last boyfriend ruined several Christmasses, damned if that is going to happen again. Always dread this time of year.

Same OP. Last Christmas I had covid, February I had an emergency spinal op, June I had a traumatic motorcycle accident which has left me with a debilitating injury to my arm. I’m have some sort of bug and I exhausted. My oh just told me to pick myself up, you know, because it’s that easy.

I have searched mumsnet tonight for a thread for those having a shit/lonely Xmas.

heart goes out to you, op.it is very hard.

here, it’s just me and DS. Going to spend Xmas tomorrow with sister & family…and her new boyfriend (of 10 weeks). Was doing fine until I looked on FB and saw loads of loved up photos.

following that one with narc parents on Boxing Day.

all solidarity from here. It’s an endurance test for sure.

I sobbed today, I'm heartbroken. Finally broke off with the father of my children, it became toxic i tried desperately to make things work, but the more I tried the more less interest he showed. I ended it, and he hasn't bothered seeing me and the kids for the last 6 month. We communicate for child maintenence bur that's about it. I'm heartbroken, to say the least. I feel sad, and empty today even though I made some progress the couple of weeks. Xmas has just brought me down, and the sadest thing is I doubt we are on his mind. Xmas sucks

I've been home alone all day crying and I can't get myself out of it.

This time last year I was married to a nacissistic bastard and this year I'm not but the thought of him versus the thought of me meant to be happy because I escaped is both equally shit and it's reassuring to know that other people are in the same position.
It's just all crap and I can't wait for it to be over.

Dh and I just had a fight because it was supposed to be our first evening together in months and was supposed to be my belated birthday celebration. Yes he cooked dinner and we watched a film but then he wanted 'time to himself'. Happy fucking Christmas Eve.

I've gone for a walk and he's still being a twat. I have called him out on it. I don't know if we will make another year.

Ahh guys he's just contacted me 😢 (blocked on everything - did it through an alternative method) x

Oh no hope you managed to block. Hugs

I've an idea how you feel. Went to pick up non driving DS earlier in the week, had to drive both ways as DH in the middle of a course of Radiotherapy. Stayed overnight, dropped into Sainsburys for sarnies for the journey home. Rotary were collecting with Carols, I sobbed as I gave them a donation and in front of the sarnie section. DM and DF collected with them every year, Mum died in 2006 and dad in 2014. It just hit me all over again that I won't have another Christmas with them.
Love to all having a sad time.xxxx

Thank you

@Wingedharpy and so many others- a huge, heart filled hug

What did he say? be strong and remember why you left him in the first place

Just want to send hugs and love to you OP and so many posters who’ve shared their sad situations this Christmas. I hope you all get through the next few days and have at least some moments of comfort and happiness- and next year you look back from a happier place. Take care and big hugs

Thanks guys. He sent a link to a video that basically said "I get jealous when I think of someone else having you, because I don't want someone else to realise how amazing you are and take you away from me" quite obviously so narcissistic, but yet comforting to know he's thinking of me as much as I am him? Totally crazy, right?!

Remember Christmas is one day - come Monday the shops will be open and everything will be near enough back to normal. You don't have to spend tomorrow with your family if it is not helping you but even annoying siblings can be a good distraction from feeling heartbroken. Problem with siblings is that they know exactly where to hit us where it hurts - they know us so well.

5mins on fb and I'm depressed as hell...all the family "merry Christmas" photos and newborn photos to hit me where it hurts. My son died this year and this is not the Christmas I had planned for us..all.of December has been a struggle leading up to this day and I'll be glad when it's over.

That’s an awful message. He doesn’t miss you as a person, he just doesn’t want others to have what’s ‘his’. Stick it out, 48 more hours and the worst of it is over. Don’t message him back, think about starting the year having go through your first Christmas staying strong.

I am thinking of you all. Posters feeling alone, in shit relationships, with crap family, those who have been bereaved recently or in the past, or those suffering hideous illnesses. And all the other dreadful situations some age in. It’s shit and it’s ok to say so. Life can be so damn unfair. Wishing you strength and love.

OP, I was in a your shoes 5 years ago, things came to a messy end a few days before Christmas ending with the police advising me to go to a woman’s refuge with my dc (I refused to do this). Christmas was really hard, I couldn’t eat, didn’t want to celebrate but also didn’t want to be on my own. I struggled to make it special for my dc and was pleased when it was all over. I did try and join in with playing board games and spending time with family and it did help a little. Eventually you will get over this and stop missing him, you will realise that you are better off without him.

I have struggled with Christmas ever since but I am pleased I got rid and have moved on. Things do get easier. Keeping busy and spending time with family can help a little.

I hate Christmas.....it's such a lonely time of year...I have a family, and I'm not on my own, but I feel so, so lonely...it builds all the way through December and I cry at everything...most early mornings are just spent sobbing.....I just wish I knew why I felt like this......virtual hugs to all those that feel alone, no matter what time of year it is.

Hang in there do not reply yes fucking with your head bit like my scammer used too it’s all lies stay strong we’re all with you.

Yes. Even though so far is better than this time last year (teen Dd kicked off big time on 25th).

But teen Dd has been grumpy about spending less than 4 hours at my DPs with 3 of my DSibs and 1 DNiece.

We have travelled to DMIL and she has "Embarassing Bodies" very loud as she snores away but Dd still recovering from concussion on top of her general ASD issues so the kitchen tv and all lights off, DH lying on couch in conservatory in the dark. There are no other spaces except going to bed.

I managed to sit down for 20 minutes enjoying a coffee this afternoon with DM, DF and 1 DSis and Dd before the others arrived. And sat down here 45 minutes ago only. Getting things done.

Pretty much no nice treats here (I have insisted on wine tonight but need to drive around lots tomorrow again).

Under pressure to go to mass tomorrow.

No quiet time to just relax and watch movies or read a book or enjoy a nice walk. Lots of very heavy rain preventing outdoor activity. DBIL and DSIL being too intense. DMIL is on a very negative spiral again.

Way less bad than many here, but after a hellish year, in fact hellish 3-4 years, I just need some quiet time and a chance to unwind. But cannot get it. Anytime I manage to get a few precious days off, there's always something or lots of somethings needed for others.

It’s ok not to be ok.

Ive been sobbing because no family who want to see us/can see us, and I seem to have developed chronic pain conditions this year. It’s been such a flipping hard year - ground into dust by work and all the time in so much pain. I feel like I don’t have any real friends and I’ve hit such a totally overwhelming low point today that I’ve realised I’m going to have to go ask for ssri’s again as soon as the GP’s open again. So worried I’m going to loose my business I’ve bust a gut building up because of this pain. Can’t even get any proper help on the NHS.

Trying desperately to hold it together for the kids, thank goodness DH is doing all the wrapping so I can rest.