To reject nanny’s gift

[Likesicecream]

our lovely nanny brought Xmas gifts for the kids today and one was a doll stroller for my DD, perfect gift for her

problem is my mum got her the same thing (different style), it’s wrapped and ready for Xmas. My mum is crazy about Xmas and wanted to get her this for a while. Obviously our nanny would realise what had happened when she saw that one after Xmas, and it seemed silly to have two of them, we don’t have tons of space - and I wanted DD to be excited when she got the one from my mum

so when the wrapping came off and nanny was about to take it out of the packaging, I quickly mentioned that my mum had got her one too

she said oh she’ll get her something else then, of course I said don’t worry about that, but we put the stroller aside to return (DD too young to realise what had happened and there was something else small for her that she was happy playing with)

I was apologetic about the whole thing and said thank you etc but felt really bad about it afterwards and DH said he wouldn’t have said anything

Was I BU to say something?

Although a nanny can be completely central in importance they shouldn’t feel OK to buy a significant present without checking with the family first. I wouldn’t do same even as a close family member. I wouldn’t put child and family through that confusing experience.. nanny should have checked first

Going to be shot down here but isn’t a nanny an employee? I’m not meaning by this that they aren’t significant and of course they become part of the family and of course they are lovely and brilliant and important. But I would probably feel a family member has to be given priority especially a grandmother. That said I think anyone should check with parents before buying a gift bigger than say a book. These things have to be stored. Obviously the MIL did this and nanny didn’t. The nanny behaved a bit inappropriately IMO. The OP did the only thing they could in the circumstance due to Nanny’s over assuming action. She should have checked it’s not sort of gift that can be a surprise.

I don't think you were rude per se. It's an automatic reaction when you know a
similar gift is coming. The nanny may have been upset initially but would realise you were right. She should take the gift herself and change it so that she'll still have chosen thel gift herself, but again I do agree about what if one gets broken. But I still feel you were not rude.