To have been entitled over Xmas sleeping arrangements

[EntitledIthink]

Staying with PIL over Christmas. 3 bedrooms and 7 adults.

Obviously PIL stay in their own bedroom which leaves a spare room with a double bed, spare with a single bed and sofa bed in living room (which is horrendously uncomfortable).

I have pushed for us to have the double spare bed and:

BIL 1 have single spare bedroom which to me makes sense because there’s one of him and it seems madness that it was a possibility he’d get a double while a couple share a single.

BIL 2 and SIL get awful sofa bed. I feel guilty about this because if I don’t want to sleep there, why should they?

Normally I go with the flow and usually get a raw deal but I’m 7 months pregnant and can barely sleep as it is and the thought of that uneven, springy bed for 4 nights makes me not want to go.

If you want to come across as a bit more flexible, I would say offer to have either the double or second choice the single bed and DH sleep on the floor?

Who has objected to your suggestion though? It doesn't seem clear if there's actually a problem here.

Yes so everyone won’t be child free, some will have a child and some won’t. What’s hard to understand about that?

Exactly- I would be getting my husband to check the sleeping arrangements with his parents before committing to a 4 night stay potentially on a sofa bed 🥴
It’s not unreasonable to expect some extra consideration at 7 months pregnant.

Nah bedroom should be yours and horrible sofa bed could be reaped by decent camping bed

Bring a good thick mattress topper for the sofa bed. Makes a world of difference and then you won't feel guilty that your SIL and BIL are sleeping on it. You get the good bed but you also make an effort to increase their comfort.

We have one we bring various places and use as needed and it turns awful beds into sleepable beds.

Of course it’s not unreasonable to ask for the comfy bed. I can’t imagine anyone would be planning otherwise anyway. But fine to ask just to make sure.

Has any bed allocation actually been made; I can't tell from your OP.

Maybe you're stressing about something that doesn't need stressing about?

Surely the hosts will be allocating beds? Nobody in their right mind would allocate the double to anyone except the pregnant woman. If it was my dil I’d give her my bed.

4 nights is too long anyway. Sounds like an absolute nightmare all those people cooped up in a small house for all that time. You should definitely get the decent bed this year and if not I would use it as a reason not to go (unless I actually wanted to).

I've often been allocated worse beds at my parents previously which was annoying but I wanted to go and see other relatives so it was worth it.

It’s better to clear these things up before arriving.

Why leave it to when she gets there?

As long as BIL and SIL are reasonably fit and healthy, you should get your pick of the beds as your pregnant.

I am 5 months pregnant and have asked SIL and BIL if me and my husband can have the proper double bed and can they have the uncomfortable air bed. They said it was fine. Don’t feel bad, although I felt a bit entitled asking them 😂 but I’m sure they would of offered anyway

I'm not sure. I don't think the fact you are seven months pregnant should necessarily mean you get a better bed. At seven months pregnant I was perfectly fine and couldn't have justified taking precedence due to pregnancy alone! It more depends how bad you would honestly struggle with sleeping on it. However pregnancy aside, I wouldn't want to stay on an uncomfortable sofa bed anyway and would always choose to stay elsewhere.

If this is the last year you are going, then if you can cope on the less comfy bed I might say go with the flow.

in the future get in early and invite PIL to you.

As far as I'm concerned a pregnant woman should get the bed unless another guest has a real disability than would make sleeping in an uncomfortable bed more difficult for them than for her.

Honestly, I'd get this settled before I traveled any distance! There's nothing wrong with either OP or (preferably) DH calling the PiLs and just asking simply "What are the sleeping arrangements going to be?". If I were the iLs that certainly wouldn't bother me. And if I didn't like the answer, first I'd politely ask if we could have the bed and explain why. If I was still told no, I'd either stay elsewhere (first choice) or pack a blow up mattress.

Are there any reasons for BIL and SIL to have the bed - if no health reasons etc, you are not being unreasonable

Why is increasing their comfort her job?

You've not met my 5yo

It'll be me waking him on Christmas day. As I do nearly every day for school etc

Hell yes. Only 2 nights for us. My sister heading back to London was a good reason to expedite this arrangement.

Oh I'd probably want the single for myself and have DP share the sofabed with his brother.

Is anyone complaining? Frankly in your position I'd far rather have been in a hotel, but would have absolutely stated that I either got the decent bed or would happily book in somewhere. Absolutely no way would I be 'camping' out whilst pregnant.

You need to ask DH to call his parents ahead and insist you have the double. Don't underestimate how selfish people can be, secure it now don't leave it to chance.

Ask, not insist. You can’t insist on things in someone else’s house. If he tried that here he’d pretty much guarantee he was getting the sofa bed.

Same (regardless of being/not being pregnant).

Even if his wife was 7 months pregnant?