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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been entitled over Xmas sleeping arrangements

128 replies

EntitledIthink · 23/12/2022 12:34

Staying with PIL over Christmas. 3 bedrooms and 7 adults.

Obviously PIL stay in their own bedroom which leaves a spare room with a double bed, spare with a single bed and sofa bed in living room (which is horrendously uncomfortable).

I have pushed for us to have the double spare bed and:

BIL 1 have single spare bedroom which to me makes sense because there’s one of him and it seems madness that it was a possibility he’d get a double while a couple share a single.

BIL 2 and SIL get awful sofa bed. I feel guilty about this because if I don’t want to sleep there, why should they?

Normally I go with the flow and usually get a raw deal but I’m 7 months pregnant and can barely sleep as it is and the thought of that uneven, springy bed for 4 nights makes me not want to go.

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 23/12/2022 14:59

EntitledIthink · 23/12/2022 12:49

@fancyacuppatea go to my parents! This will be the last year everyone is child free so unlikely to come up again

Why will this be the last time it’s going to be a problem? What do you foresee the sleeping arrangements being there in future?

Coffeellama · 23/12/2022 15:01

Shinyandnew1 · 23/12/2022 14:59

Why will this be the last time it’s going to be a problem? What do you foresee the sleeping arrangements being there in future?

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She said she’s going to her parents next year with the baby, that’s why the sleeping arrangements will be different.

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 15:02

toomuchlaundry · 23/12/2022 12:46

I would have stayed at home 😳

This. They don't have enough room to host 7 adults.

Thedaysthatremain · 23/12/2022 15:02

OoooohMatron · 23/12/2022 14:50

If you're the type of people who would deny a pregnant woman a bed, I doubt anybody would be queuing up for an invite TBH.

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Eh, let her sleep in the stable, it's traditional!

IsItThough · 23/12/2022 15:04

Does anyone else mind?

I don't think you should feel guilty - travelling and very pregnant - you need a decent bed or you will be in agony.

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 15:04

Thefriendlyone · 23/12/2022 12:58

How’s it the last year everyone is child free? For this to be the case your sil must also be pregnant?

Everyone won't be child free next year as OP will have a child Confused

It's a correct statement

NotQuiteUsual · 23/12/2022 15:05

Pregnant women and disabled guests get first dibs on sleeping arrangements. Surely this goes without saying??

MrsTumblebee · 23/12/2022 15:06

It’s not nice at all that no one has automatically said you should have the comfy bed.

I wouldn’t go if I couldn’t have it.

Thedaysthatremain · 23/12/2022 15:07

NotQuiteUsual · 23/12/2022 15:05

Pregnant women and disabled guests get first dibs on sleeping arrangements. Surely this goes without saying??

You'd think so wouldn't you?

Shinyandnew1 · 23/12/2022 15:10

Coffeellama · 23/12/2022 15:01

She said she’s going to her parents next year with the baby, that’s why the sleeping arrangements will be different.

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I said ‘in the future’, not next Christmas. I’m just thinking that surely this is going to be an ongoing problem, unless the OP never visits her in laws again.

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 15:10

On the other hand, it’s immensely irritating to know that because you’re the single, childfree one you’re always expected to go on the sofa or a floor.

Exactly this.

Theeaglesoared · 23/12/2022 15:17

Mary had to make do with bedding down on some hay in a stable when she was nine months pregnant. She would've considered a sofa bed a luxury.

<gets coat>

Purplepurse · 23/12/2022 15:18

I too was wondering why it will never be a problem again. Will having a child mean not visiting again at Christmas.( mother of sons here!)

rookiemere · 23/12/2022 15:19

Theeaglesoared · 23/12/2022 15:17

Mary had to make do with bedding down on some hay in a stable when she was nine months pregnant. She would've considered a sofa bed a luxury.

<gets coat>

Some nice hay would be considerably more comfortable than some sofa beds I have slept on.

OoooohMatron · 23/12/2022 15:19

Theeaglesoared · 23/12/2022 15:17

Mary had to make do with bedding down on some hay in a stable when she was nine months pregnant. She would've considered a sofa bed a luxury.

<gets coat>

They don't know they're born these days 😂

Purplepurse · 23/12/2022 15:21

I agree about the single childless one always landing up with the floor or bunkbeds. When booking for a holiday I always make sure the single adults get a proper bed and room. It's more difficult when it's a bunking down at a relatives house for Christmas though.

Whatdoyouthinkno · 23/12/2022 15:26

Makes total sense to give the heavily pregnant woman the decent mattress.

rookiemere · 23/12/2022 15:31

Maybe BIL2 and SIL haven't had to sleep on sofa bed before, sp don't know how awful it is. Maybe after everyone can club together and buy ILs a good quality inflatable mattress.

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/12/2022 15:46

EntitledIthink · 23/12/2022 12:57

@Notyetacatlady its not a semi and it’s not in the UK. Hotels are hundreds of pounds per night - I have suggested it before but DH thinks his parents would be deeply offended.

If they don't want to be 'offended', they should replace their uncomfortable sofa bed.

I'd be insisting that DH make sure I am in a comfortable bed for the four-day stay, or I wouldn't be going. 7 months pregnant? Not comfortable even in your own bed, a crappy sofabed would be intolerable.

And if I got there and didn't have a comfy bed, I'd be springing for a hotel, regardless of the cost.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 23/12/2022 16:06

Bless you OP - you seem to have DH problem? Why is he incapable of telling his parents that you must have the double bed (as you're 7 months pregnant) or you'll be unable to attend. Anyone who has a problem with that really isn't the type of person you need to be around at Christmas. They should all be nurturing and caring for you and if they're not going to then maybe stay at home? Not too late for a last minute shop tomorrow.

MeridianB · 23/12/2022 16:16

Twiglets1 · 23/12/2022 13:19

Exactly- I would be getting my husband to check the sleeping arrangements with his parents before committing to a 4 night stay potentially on a sofa bed 🥴
It’s not unreasonable to expect some extra consideration at 7 months pregnant.

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This! Not sure if you’re also travelling overseas to get there but the hosting arrangements sound very flimsy.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/12/2022 16:31

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 15:10

On the other hand, it’s immensely irritating to know that because you’re the single, childfree one you’re always expected to go on the sofa or a floor.

Exactly this.

The single one is getting the single BED tho

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 23/12/2022 16:40

Definitely NBU! I'm still a little salty because I got left to sleep on a thin foam mattress on the floor at 28 weeks pregnant at my inlaws. I slept horrendously and it gave me sore hips for weeks!

Cherrysoup · 23/12/2022 17:23

Of course you should get the comfy bed. However, 4 nights is way too long. I can’t do more than 2.

Blossomtoes · 23/12/2022 17:33

Thedaysthatremain · 23/12/2022 14:05

At which point, it would be obvious how little respect you had for my wife, we'd leave.

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No mate, your wife would get a bed. You wouldn’t. You don’t demand stuff in other people’s houses and get away with it.