Cocaine

[oystercatcher5]

We have come away for Christmas with our children and our parents.

Last night we had a meal in and sat around chatting and drinking.

Half way through the night DH went upstairs and did a line of coke.

I’m pissed off.

He thinks he’s done nothing wrong.

AIBU?

But it's also the difference between buying it in Asda or from a county lines child who carries a knife.

Government did that

I do, I think very hard about it, and have cut back a lot of my buying from Amazon/Apple etc due to concerns about working conditions and so on.

However, even these are legitimate businesses not gun-wielding criminal cartels.

I just really really fucking hate prosperous lefty middle class hypocrites.

So grim. If he feels the need to do
coke whilst hanging out with his kids and his parents, then he has a problem. Really scummy behaviour.

Oh god that's a slight over reaction! My goodness

I'm not surprised by his behaviour - there's a reason it's called wanker powder after all! It's partly your fault for tolerating it previously though, you should have given him an ultimatum from the start, it's you or his drug habit.

But she hadn't made up some reasons to lose her shit over as you say. I could say the same about you. Keep telling yourself it's all OK though if it makes you sleep any easier at night.
The illegal drugs trade is abhorrent and provides nothing but misery from production to using it. You sound like you just don't want to accept the truth.

The hypocritical one is you.
The people who aren't the hypocrites are just living their lives and not moralising everything (when it suits).

I DGAF about the backstory to everything I buy. Not my problem. "I don't care" are some of the most powerful words I know.

Don't want to accept the truth? I know the truth. I just don't care. There is a huge difference.

At least I'm honest. You pretend to care about everything - but not when you buy all your cheap stuff

Illegality is not invented.

What a jolly world we would live in if murderers, torturers and rapists could employ the argument that not everything is their problem and people are busy losing their shit over nothing. What’s a little bit of unhypocritical murder, when other people are hypocritically, legally, behaving badly? Let’s all be absolutists - if we can’t be saints, we should all be as depraved as possible instead.

Oh god, how embarrassing is he. I’d be absolutely furious. Lay down the law with him now, tell him you believe he is doing it more often than just on nights out with mates, after what he did last night.

Him saying he thinks he did nothing wrong just simply isn’t true. He knows really that it was wrong.

If you're fine with him using drugs, then you can't really be upset when he uses drugs. He's clearly lost perspective. You're going to have trouble ahead.

It makes a change to find a drug user being honest about this. Of course you don't care about the human cost of producing your cocaine. Neither does anybody else who uses illegal drugs, but not many of them are willing to admit that.

So you turn a blind eye to the coke use some of the time?

You do understand about how these things escalate don’t you ? What happens when he carelessly leaves it around and a kid ingests it ?

Why in god's name would anyone want to be coked up around their parents, I can't think of anything worse

Oh stop clutching your pearls!

Not every one has lived such a sheltered life as you....

Urgh, the whataboutery crew are here. Fuck the kids getting screwed over by drugs because there are other kids getting ducked over by fashion so fuck all of them!!

Such a base, empty-headed argument @Postapocalypticcowgirl. This doesn’t excuse the drug taking. And as I said previously, I used to take a lot of hard drugs, I’ve seen the damage it can do. Stop making excuses.

Not everything is our problem, you know.

I bet you don't dwell too hard when you buy stuff made overseas. You think it's all lovely working conditions do you? But when its something you don't like, you make up some reasons to lose your shit over it.

You're right that not everything is our individual problem. We should be able to rely on governments to regulate for good working conditions. It's unrealistic to expect every consumer to look into the working practices of every company from whom they ever buy anything.

What isn't unreasonable imo is to expect people to abide by the laws of the democratic country they live in, and thereby (for example) not support the illegal drug trade.

This post is an underreaction in my opinion. It sounds rather casual and only the beginning of the story.

No way on EARTH I would ever have anyone doing drugs around my children, in my home or anywhere near me. Others on this thread might call be a prude, but drugs are not normal, not common and shouldn't be treated as so. And cocaine?! That's some hardcore shit.

I'm not sure Mumsnet is the best place for advice, because for a lot of people even doing a line of coke socially is really really shocking.

And why are their opinions less valid than yours? And why would someone who's unhappy about her husband's drug use want advice from someone who's going to say 'Nah it's fine - totally normal!'.

I'm not saying cocaine use is ever 'right' or has a place, but it's a bloody bizarre thing to do while having a meal with your parents and kids.

He's got a problem, clearly, as he can no longer compartmentalise it and restrict it to nights out with his crappy mates (while you stay at home and look after the kids? How nice for him.)

Anyone using drugs in these circumstances is dependent or rapidly going that way. You need to tell him to stop it 100% and if he's got a problem with that...well, you're married to a addict.

I’d be worried that he’s beginning to have a real addiction problem. Whilst I don’t condone taking coke with his mates, he’s a grown adult and can make his own decisions when he’s with a group of likeminded people. But being unable to go a day without, whilst in the company of kids and parents, is troubling.

Would he be happy if a drug dealer moved in next door? If your kids couriered the drugs all over the town on their bikes? If one of them joined a county line and started getting the train to Birmingham with a rucksack full of crack? Or if someone he knew got into a drug debt and had their fingers chopped off by a dealer? No?

Because that is the reality that his habit causes, one that I see in the courts every day. It’s not ‘just a bit of coke’.

You can tell who the cocaine users are on here.
Probably the same middle class parents I see in real life who looked down on me when I gave my young kids (they are teens now) a bit of fizzy pop. Oh the horror! But anyone objecting to the use of illegal drugs is apparently a pearl clutcher.

By the way it is pretty easy to tell when someone has taken coke. They always seem like massive arrogant pricks who talk bollocks. I never say at the time, but I have spotted obvious use at various times.

you have children. Do you like the idea of your children doing drugs too? presumably not. Hope he agrees to get clean, if that's the right phrase. All the best OP. YANBU