Cocaine

[oystercatcher5]

We have come away for Christmas with our children and our parents.

Last night we had a meal in and sat around chatting and drinking.

Half way through the night DH went upstairs and did a line of coke.

I’m pissed off.

He thinks he’s done nothing wrong.

AIBU?

I'm sorry to give my two pence worth, but I am totally against any recreational drug since I was born 3 months prematurely because of heroin, weaned off it, and now have several health problems because of it (hearing loss, affected how I've reacted to medication etc). And other people I know have been seriously affected by various drugs like weed and ketamine, having problems like calcification of their bladder etc.

I understand some people's reasons for taking them as an escape from emotional pain, used for socialising etc but I've explained my reasons for being against them. I'm sure my opinion won't be popular though so...

I am sure someone would be hopping mad

I've never taken it, been around plenty who have and IMO were never improved by it. However, social nights out with your mates is one thing. Doing a line while at a Christmas gathering of your parents and children is frankly incredibly odd and speaks of dependency.

*recreational drugs

Stupid typos 🙄

I just hope those who see drugs as not really a big issue have their kids dragged into county lines dealing and mine aren't affected. Maybe then it'll dawn on them that the fun little weekend toot comes with a few strings attached.

Appreciate all angles, thank you.

His circle of friends do coke on nights out. Rightly or wrongly I turn a blind eye to this.

It is the fact that he has brought some with him and snuck upstairs for a line. His wild eyes and shit clean up job are what gave him away.

I used to take a lot of drugs.

Then I grew up, had kids and became a responsible adult. Now I don’t touch drugs (and before any of the ‘BuT wHaT aBoUt AlCoHoL?’ brigade turn up I don’t drink either).

Your husband has a problem. It’s time to tell him to get help or get out. If he is taking coke during a family evening sitting around he has a problem and it will only get worse.

IF this is a real post then put your children first and tell him to get help or leave. Not negotiable. I have seen the horrific things drug use can do, don’t let your children get dragged into this. Plus, you want to find out how much coke goes for these days because instead of saving that money for your kids he is sticking it up his nose.

I take the point about the human cost of drugs - I hadn't really considered it before so good to see things from a different perspective.

My point about the difference between wine and coke in a family situation where children are present is the danger in particular that children may pick them up and take them by accident not knowing what they are. That is far less of a risk with wine as society normalises one but not the other.

KetrickenSmiled, i hope you're right. Unfortunately neither of us know what strength the cocaine was or what it was mixed with or whether it was even cocaine at all. I work with doctors who tell me that someone is likely to be still be over the limit for cocaine 3 days after use, I have never used drugs before but there is no way I'd knowingly allow my children to be in a car driven by a drug user.
On your other notes I'd never drive if I felt that I was impaired by substances or tiredness, etc, as you say, that's very dangerous as well.

Sorry but it’s wrongly. It’s time to put your kids first before your husbands idiocy. Either the coke goes or you and his kids do. You need to be the parent your children deserve.

Rightly or wrongly I turn a blind eye to this.

Then what did you expect.

Sure thing.

Personally, I find people doing coke a bit sad. We all have our own limits on what we’d put up with: I couldn’t stand this, but if you can and do (and you say you turn a blind eye) then I’m not sure why you’re asking this question? You’re not going to change him.

If he needs cocaine to sit in the house with his family he’s got a big fucking problem and that would be a deal breaker for me. There’s a huge difference between a line on a night out clubbing with other adults and a line when you’re staying in with your children. Like a pp, I wouldn’t want that anywhere near my kids. Don’t really care if that makes me a goody two shoes, at least my past time isn’t responsible for untold misery in this and other countries.

She expected him to keep it to pubbing and clubbing (or house parties or whatever the wankers do).

Not a small family gathering with her kids there.

Unfortunately he's one of the many who can't do that.

That says he a lot about his character as well as his predisposition to adduction.

The fact they'd be doing it in the first place makes them a bunch of wankers.

Boring people bored by themselves and each other.

Plus, you want to find out how much coke goes for these days because instead of saving that money for your kids he is sticking it up his nose

Another good point.... Total waste of your family money.

It wasn’t just his circle of friends though was it? He was clearly using. And now he carries it with him to use at family events. Then tells you you’re overreacting when you object to illegal drugs around family and kids. You’ve definitely done the wrong thing by turning a blind eye. This would be a hard no for me.

I'd hazard a guess that he's come to associate drinking with the next stage/the enhancement, being coke.

(Since you were sitting around drinking).

Maybe he'll be one of the few who gets help and stops, or maybe he's going to lead you a dog's life of lying, falling back, breaking his word, selfishness etc. for the next few years. Perhaps you should evaluate your circumstances if you separated and prep for that. You won't even be able to let him have unsupervised access in case the kids come across coke in his accommodation, it he takes it and his judgement is impaired while looking after them.

I would say if its got to the point he's doing at home in the middle of a family meal he has got a problem and been using it far more than you realise probably.

You tolerate him taking drugs so I don't think it's that surprising that this has leaked into less appropriate situations. I don't think YABU to be annoyed though.

Everyone has their own take on it. Mine is that those who can turn a blind eye to the murder and people trafficking that goes hand in hand with them having their bit of fun are the scum of the earth. I would have dumped him the first time.

Lie down with dogs, get fleas.

Fuck around with addictive substances, find out.

I've lost sympathy here OP, you knew it was going on and I cannot believe anyone is stupid enough to think that turning a blind eye to drug use with friends won't eventually bleed into family life.

Instead of enjoying your kids and your family life he's doing lines. Instead of putting money towards your kids he's spending it on class As. Instead of respecting you and the fucking weird boundary you'd set with this he's put shoving whatever it's mixed with these days (could be fentanyl, btw - that'll be an interesting one to explain to your children, family members, school mums...) up his nose and by the by if he's getting to the stage where he's wild eyed enough to not do an efficient clean up job in front of your parents - it's over. He's lost control and is on the inevitable downward spiral.

But I'm sure the blind eye will fix it.

Coming from someone who used to do cocaine recreationally occasionally with DH in our twenties and enjoyed it, I would NOT be happy with this and would be having a serious conversation about not doing it again, I’d also be worried that he was addicted as seems a strange time to do it? due to the children and parents being around and it being a family occasion. Me and DH haven’t touched it since the kids were born but we both agree that IF we were it would have to be when the children were away, out of the house and we would also need a day to recover. There must be more info here and you must do it a lot for him to be so casual about it?! What’s the backstory?

There's a guy I know of who snorted a line of coke which was laced with fentanyl (he didn't know) and he died. Just not a risk I think any parent should be taking.

@BatshitBanshee is spot on