Cocaine

[oystercatcher5]

We have come away for Christmas with our children and our parents.

Last night we had a meal in and sat around chatting and drinking.

Half way through the night DH went upstairs and did a line of coke.

I’m pissed off.

He thinks he’s done nothing wrong.

AIBU?

I completely agree, county lines, all the children stabbing children. Not to mention it’s carbon foot print is fucking astronomical.
it’s all pretty grim and a lot of turning a blind eye going on.

Ifailed, thank you.

I'm usually the one saying this and it rarely goes down well. I feel the same about all drugs, including weed. There, I've said it.

I spent my teens and early twenties doing lots of drugs, and and lost so much because of it. The intimidation and coercion, violence and fear, forced labour and pathetic deprivation of dignity that reveals itself to be endemic the minute you transition from casual 'recreational' use (how I hate that phrase) to getting in deep is real and we see the impact on people's lives and on impacted communities all over the country and by extension, the world.

To say "... but was any harm done?" is so utterly disingenuous and blind it's shameful. Massive harm is done, all the time and every day. And to pretend not to see it reveals not only unchecked privilege but also a profound lack of empathy and consequence-think.

OP, your husband, while procuring his drug of choice, is propping up a business model that shits on long strings of vulnerable people as a given, and women in particular. My friends at the time and I all had brushes with coerced prostitution and work in the sex industry and were all victims of serious threat and violence at various points, while nice guys like your DH scored from our boyfriends and enjoyed feeling a bit risky.
Misogynist crap.

You do have a very valid point

Can't sit around at an ordinary family occasion , with his kids nearby, at his in-laws place without snorting coke .......

Seriously, why are you still with him?

Completely agree. Wish people who just pass it off as a normal social habit would think about the wider consequences. Personally I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who used cocaine, let alone feeling the need to take it around kids and family.

🤣

I don't understand if you are upset that he did coke at all, or just in this particular scenario.

Illegal drugs are totally unacceptable to me, so I would leave him.

And before anyone asks, no I don't take drugs, including alcohol, myself. I hate the fact they inhibit your judgement, are addictive, and obviously the illegal ones are illegal and have terrible production lines. I have never enjoyed being around drunk or high people, they are boring or unpredictable.

Oh grow up🙄

Who does he think he is, Hunter S Thompson or something?

Did you know about the coke use? I can't gauge whether the cocaine is the surprising bit for you or the fact it was at a family meal.

Either way, if it was me, I'd pull him aside and threaten the bejesus out of him that if the kids find it I'll put him where no one will find him. Then I'd keep my counsel for the rest of the trip and leave the cunt in the new year. This wasn't a piss up with friends, this was a family meal and he's doing lines - what the fuck is that about.

Jesus that was all fun and giggles in my 20s. Not now in my 30s with a family. I’d kick him out, but you won’t, as I guess this isn’t a one off and you know this about him already.

The sort that do this, did they not do any experimenting or partying when young?
It just looks sad, these middle aged, middle class types, hyped up, talking shite, thinking they look cool and getting aggressive if you dare to question them.
A glass of wine isn't the same.

I don’t do drugs but I’m not usually bothered if it’s something others want to do. I do think there’s a time and a place though - out clubbing with your mates, maybe, but there’s something a bit desperate about sneaking off to do it alone at a family meal with kids present.

I have never enjoyed being around drunk or high people, they are boring or unpredictable

It's like they concentrate all the idiocy, selfishness, irresponsibility & baseness of humans.

There is literally noone more boring and cringe than a drunk or high person.

On the irresponsibility & selfishness front; he's clearly got coke in his bags or clothes, what happens if one of the kids comes across it somehow and thinks it's sherbet or something. Visit to A&E cause your kids in Columbian marching powder, or so you just let them ride it out and risk any complications cause going to A&E will expose what your household is like.

If, big if, you choose to do coke etc. everyone but the worst fuck wit knows to do it out socially; not at your in-laws house, with your kids, just sitting around as a family.

Sounds like he's an addict.

Dint bother doing the addict support honey cokey for x amount of years, just get rid of him.

*hokey cokey

He can't make it through one family evening, with children present, without getting a hit?

He has a drug problem.

😂😂😂

Well dad, as I presume you are a parent, I hope you gave up driving for the full duration when you were still doing night wakes with tinies.

Any medical professional or sleep expert will assure you that driving after having little or no sleep carries far higher risk factors than ONE line of coke taken 12+ hours previously.

Admittedly, it's unlikely that the first time OP 'caught' him is the first & only time he's ever done a line. It's more likely this is the thin end of the wedge, & I'd direct her energy into finding out how big that wedge is rather than dobbing him to the police or putting a driving ban on him.

How would you propose she stops a grown man from driving, out of interest? Whip a wheel clamp out of her handbag? Hide the keys? Issue a home-printed driving ban chitty? Can't see any of those being a long term solution. Talking about it & understanding WTF he's playing at might be, though.

YANBU to be pissed off.

YABU if you expect any more helpful comments without drip feeding the rest.

I can well imagine why he’d want to do drugs at a large family gathering.

We have come away for Christmas with our children and our parents

6 adults and probably a couple of kids is a large family gathering?

If someone bought frogs into my home I’d be ecstatic @OrlandointheWilderness!

@Ifailed
You nailed it. Nothing good comes from drugs. Could not be in a relationship with this type of weak person that relies on cocaine to get him through a family meal.

Well it's your choice to stay with him.

Parents and in-laws. Enough to drive you to drugs.