Cocaine

[oystercatcher5]

We have come away for Christmas with our children and our parents.

Last night we had a meal in and sat around chatting and drinking.

Half way through the night DH went upstairs and did a line of coke.

I’m pissed off.

He thinks he’s done nothing wrong.

AIBU?

Probs not ideal, but was any harm done

I couldn't give a fuck if the OP's DH harms himself, bt I do care about the trail of murder, rape, kidnap, enslavement and general misery caused by the illegal cocaine trade. Just look at the situation in many central American countries where cartels are in open warfare with the government and local population.

People who take and trade cocaine are directly responsible for this, and should be suitable punished.

You do realise that “logged” means fuck all? A call handler will note the details, but unless police actually make enquiries (which they won’t for something like this) you’ve wasted your time and theirs

Are you abroad & has he travelled with this coke?

Sorry posted too soon, “logging” is basically making an unsubstantiated allegation

Is he a regular cocaine user?

MN is fucking weird when it comes to drugs (and alcohol), many insist it’s just fun and ’everybody’ does it.
And those who don’t are boring and whatnot according to them.
And apperently it’s same as little speeding…

This place is so weird sometimes.

In real life, I don’t know anyone like that, thank goodness.

And the saddo dealers that deal the shit...

Mind you, I work in a place where there's plenty of the fuckers locked up regretting dealing and using,big time. Lots of regret

It’s not that I don’t agree with you, but unfortunately recreational drug use isn’t enough for access to children being restricted.

Other issues that may come with it if there’s a serious addiction, neglect or emotional abuse for example, would be different of course but sadly neither the police or social services would be interested in a parent taking a line of coke occasionally.

So when doing the going away packing he went socks, jeans, cocaine, toothbrush?

This is normal for him and you? (As in knowing about it)

Was it a real shock or just wrong place type thing?

If it's normal for you 2 sure I don't ge it but seems to be about I guess

Context is key here.
Husband takes a line of coke on a night out with friends in a bar or at a party… well I personally wouldn’t because I hate cocaine but it’s certainly not unheard of and is the kind of setting that means if drugs are your thing then you would use them.
A family Christmas break with the in-laws … nah. That’s weird. It implies he’s on a different track to the rest of you. A party hard, selfish track and it’ll be bloody obvious that he’s had a line whether he can read the room or not. I’d suspect he had a problem. It’s both inappropriate and worrying.

@OrlandointheWilderness leave the frogs out of this! 😂

I agree with you.

I agree.

I don’t mind party drugs like MDMA or Mushrooms or people smoking weed. I don’t think they should be criminalised and should be legalised and regulated. Lots of police and lawyers have made this point .
Cocaine is highly addictive and dangerous with a shockingly awful route to consumer. Child exploitation, murder, environmental ecocide. I have a moral issue with it. But not a moral issue taking drugs per se.
It would be noteworthy but not completely shocking to see cocaine amongst my friends. We are professionals with kids 5-18 ish.

I would never take drugs now I have children and wouldn’t be married to someone who did either. That aside, if you’re fine with him using it occasionally it’s still very odd to use it at a gathering with his parents and children. I’ve had a close friend who was a coke addict and this behaviour smacks of addiction to me. Like a pp said, some people feel almost compelled to use it once they’ve had a drink. I would be very concerned about this behaviour

I think for me the difference between drugs and alcohol is that you can walk into a supermarket and buy a bottle of wine if you're over 18.
With drugs you have to contact a dealer - it's illegal, secretive, a lot of lies go on, there's the ethical aspect of manufacture/trafficking etc. it feels seedy to me.
Needing to do a line at a family get together just adds another level of ick to this.

I don't drink or take drugs myself, so it's not a particularly personal issue to me, I'm just interested in different opinions. I don't think there's much difference between alcohol and some drugs, apart from the legal side and the exploitation involved in production and distribution, which is a major issue. The substances themselves...I'm ambivalent. I think it's situation dependent. Generally, I wouldn't report someone for having a bit of alcohol, and I wouldn't report them for having a line of cocaine. I think that's quite an extreme thing to do, and pointless really.

I think this post sums it up for me.

Alcohol is regulated, you know what you're getting, nobody is exploited or has to risk their life to transport it etc.

With illegal drugs, you don't have a clue what you're actually putting in your body. Why risk it? It's selfish.

I agree with this - context is key. Drugs aren't for me but I can't take the moral high ground as I can put away a few glasses of wine on a good night out occasionally so don't judge those who take recreational drugs in the same way.

For me the deal breaker with this would be the specific occasion - a family dinner and with children in the house - both of which would make it unacceptable (and possibly even dangerous) in my eyes.

Aye, it’s Christmas!

I don't not see wine being the same thing as cocaine

But I also see taking random chemicals found under the sink or laundry being the same as cocaine, I don't do this either

But either cocaine is ok or not, if there is nothing wrong with it I don't see why it matters where it is done

I’ve never done cocaine, but if I’d had to go away for Christmas with both sets of parents I might start.

If my partner did any drug at all that'd be the end for me. Zero tolerance. Who needs that in their life?

@Ifailed Totally agree with you - vulnerable children (in the UK and overseas) are exploited, abused and end up in the criminal justice system because of the illegal drugs trade, so I have very little sympathy for middle class recreational users who have their nice seeming dealer and turn a blind eye to everything going on that they don’t see. Alcohol is totally different.

Are you annoyed because
He didn't ask you to join in
Or you think it's inappropriate he decided he needed something to get him through the meal?

He clearly uses cocaine. Doubtful this is the first time. Be mad at that and if you think he has a problem tell him that in a conversation so he can decide what help he needs if he wants it.