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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband lay on sofa when I shouted Help

313 replies

darkbluenails · 23/12/2022 00:36

This has been bugging me all week. A few days ago I was in the back garden alone, went over on my ankle and fell against a sharp bit of wood causing my arm to bleed quite badly and me end up in a pile on the ground.

As I fell I shouted, then I lay on the ground shouting help. OH was just on the other side of the door watching telly, instead of getting up he told our 8 year old to go see what I wanted. 8yo came out and got upset as saw all the blood which by now was all over my top. He helped me up, hobbled inside and OH still lying on the sofa, no effort at all to see what was wrong.

I'm so angry as he heard me, I've never shouted Help before so it's not like a Peter cries wolf regular thing and he must havev heard the urgency in my voice. When I asked why he didn't come out he said "I didn't know why you were shouting". WTF?! As if I would have to inform him what my emergency would be for him to move.

AIBU being annoyed about this? I could have been lying with an artery severed for all he knew.

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 23/12/2022 02:17

This thread is a typical example of AIBU at its worst. Certain pp scrabbling around to pick apart the Op just to get some weird pleasure from sticking the boot in.
Ridiculous.

nettie434 · 23/12/2022 02:23

I'd be really upset if that happened to me. It's quite common to experience a sudden drop in blood pressure after a fall and to feel faint. Of course the OP's OH should have come out to check.

There are some quite unsympathetic replies here. It must have been a bad cut to need 8 stitches but even if it was just a small cut I'd have still hoped for help to get up and go back inside.

Ponderingwindow · 23/12/2022 02:25

Do people really have such uncaring marriages that they think someone is being dramatic asking for help when they fall? If we are available, DH and I help one another with even small cuts just because it can be easier for another person to get a good angle to clean a wound and apply a plaster. We want to take care of one another.

aurynne · 23/12/2022 02:25

I am grateful to other women for taking absolutely uncaring, helpless, useless and lazy men out of the dating pool and putting up with them. I don't understand why on earth anyone would have a relationship with such pieces of work, but at least that will leave fewer of them out there to waste my time on.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 23/12/2022 02:38

I slipped on some icy stairs Home Alone style and I was in a daze afterwards even though I hit my back just because it was so painful. I did get up alone but I would absolutely have called for help if I'd known someone was nearby.

It's never nice to really hurt yourself and it can send you into shock. I'd be doubly upset that someone was blatantly uncaring.

Aprilx · 23/12/2022 03:59

aurynne · 23/12/2022 02:25

I am grateful to other women for taking absolutely uncaring, helpless, useless and lazy men out of the dating pool and putting up with them. I don't understand why on earth anyone would have a relationship with such pieces of work, but at least that will leave fewer of them out there to waste my time on.

It is quite a few years ago now, but I had an accident and it turned out I had five stitches in my hand. I walked into the other room and said I have really cut myself badly here, who can take me to hospital. I didn’t lie on the floor shouting “help”.

This was well prior to meeting my husband, and actually my husband takes great care of me when I am ill. But I don’t roll around in the floor because of a cut either, including the one that resulted in five stitches for me. That was long before I met my husband and my dad took me to hospital after I calmly suggested I needed to get some treatment.

aurynne · 23/12/2022 04:02

Aprilx · 23/12/2022 03:59

It is quite a few years ago now, but I had an accident and it turned out I had five stitches in my hand. I walked into the other room and said I have really cut myself badly here, who can take me to hospital. I didn’t lie on the floor shouting “help”.

This was well prior to meeting my husband, and actually my husband takes great care of me when I am ill. But I don’t roll around in the floor because of a cut either, including the one that resulted in five stitches for me. That was long before I met my husband and my dad took me to hospital after I calmly suggested I needed to get some treatment.

Show quote history

Yes, but a husband has no idea if the fall caused a mildly sprained hand or a broken neck. Surely anyone who cares about you will run to you if you shout "help!"? However, if it is acceptable to you that your significant other ignores your call for help and stays on the sofa, then please go back to my initial post, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Suzi888 · 23/12/2022 04:07

Happened to my aunt, (my uncle is deaf though). It took awhile for him to realise she couldn’t get up (fractured wrist)he thought she was lying down, resting 🥴 she went nuts. She’s 86, why the hell would she be flat out resting. They still laugh about it now, he absolutely worships her.

Anyway, YANBU your other half was probably too engrossed in what he was watching/doing.

Aprilx · 23/12/2022 04:11

aurynne · 23/12/2022 04:02

Yes, but a husband has no idea if the fall caused a mildly sprained hand or a broken neck. Surely anyone who cares about you will run to you if you shout "help!"? However, if it is acceptable to you that your significant other ignores your call for help and stays on the sofa, then please go back to my initial post, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Show quote history

Please refer to my first post in the thread. I have previously said that unless OP makes a habit of this hysterical kind of reaction (and it does seem plausible) then of course her husband is in the wrong.

StoppinBy · 23/12/2022 04:15

Are you sure he heard what you were saying?

Hubby and I often call out loudly to each other from outside and while you can hear the voice, the words aren't exactly clear.

If I couldn't understand him I would send one pf the kids to find out what he wanted if I was busy.

If he did hear and understand you, then that's pretty shit of him to not respond and help you.

HowVeryBizarre · 23/12/2022 04:44

Your DH is a lazy dick for not coming to see what had happened regardless of your injuries, I can’t imagine anyone in my family not running if someone called help. I slipped and fell in the bathroom on holiday recently, it took me quite a while to get myself up and hobble out. First thing DH said was “why on earth didn’t you call out so someone could have helped you”. The low standards people here accept from their partners never cease to depress me.

poefaced · 23/12/2022 04:50

Sorry that happened, your H sounds like a dickhead..

I hope you will show the same level of care to him (I.e. zero) next time he has an accident or is ill.

Tiani4 · 23/12/2022 05:00

Yanbu
Your DH is lazy and doesn't appear to care a jot for you. Is the TV or his phone regularly more important to him?

How did DH react when you hobbled in all bloody with your DS helping you?

Has he genuinely apologised to you OP?
And said he regrets not reacting and running out himself ?
Was he then caring & concerned getting you to A&E and supportive to you afterwards so that you can rest arm? (Has he got on with dinner housework etc)

How does he treat you generally?
(With care and thought and he participates in his share?
Or does he expect you to do everything & has reverted back to that before your strict he's have healed?)
Has he apologised to your DS ? (who had to help Mum in that bloody state. 8 stitches? I can imagine a fair bit of blood, not fab for 8 year old to see)

I think it's time for a talk with your DH. If he's emotionally checked out of any basic care to his wife in this marriage, then you both need to address this. Starting with he gets nothing done for him by you (no dinner no laundry no childcare so he can go out) and he sleeps on that sofa he's so attached to.

nokidshere · 23/12/2022 05:05

Surely the point isn't how badly OP was hurt but that she called for help and her DH, not knowing what had happened, didn't bother to even find out.

dolor · 23/12/2022 05:10

Fucking hell, what an absolute barrel of shit your partner is. I'd be off.

orangegato · 23/12/2022 05:27

LTB

Beanbagtrap · 23/12/2022 05:32

Yesterday I was preparing dinner and the timings went off and I ended up with overboiling pans and struggling to lay the table. I shouted "can I get some help please" and my entire family ignored me. That pissed me off so based on that which was about plates, not bleeding everywhere, yanbu.

KatherineJaneway · 23/12/2022 05:36

Is he always like this?

DaftyInTheMiddle · 23/12/2022 05:42

I once cut my entire arm off and didn’t shout for help OP so you’re obviously a drama queen.

Or, back in the real world. You cut your arm, saw a fair bit of blood and we’re in shock, also after rolling your ankle which, as someone with weak ankles can attest, that’s all it takes for a massive sprain / break sometimes.

I could be shocked at some of the replies but not surprised looking at the usernames, same typical mouthpieces 🙄

IncompleteSenten · 23/12/2022 05:43

He's a piece of shit.

As is anyone who would ignore someone shouting for help or not give a crap that someone was hurt.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/12/2022 05:43

Aprilx · 23/12/2022 04:11

Please refer to my first post in the thread. I have previously said that unless OP makes a habit of this hysterical kind of reaction (and it does seem plausible) then of course her husband is in the wrong.

Show quote history

I am imagining maybe you are prone to dramatics.
That post? I must say I agree with the post from aurynne.

Op has a dodgy ankle. Her ankle gave way causing her to collapse and cut her arm severely needing hospital attention and stitches. She couldn’t just get up and dust herself off because she has a dodgy ankle and was likely in shock.

I am not a well woman. It is bloody scary to know you are vulnerable and could collapse and hurt yourself at any given time. Please have some empathy for op. By the sound of it she is and was not being dramatic.

EmmaAgain22 · 23/12/2022 05:48

aurynne · 23/12/2022 02:25

I am grateful to other women for taking absolutely uncaring, helpless, useless and lazy men out of the dating pool and putting up with them. I don't understand why on earth anyone would have a relationship with such pieces of work, but at least that will leave fewer of them out there to waste my time on.

Let's hope the women sticking the boot in on this thread aren't in the dating pool either 😂

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 23/12/2022 05:51

Yanbu.

Tubs11 · 23/12/2022 05:57

Ignore the nastiness on here OP. Even if you were being dramatic, which I don't think you are btw, it's very unreasonable for your DH to send your child out to see what happened as you could have been bleeding out for all he knows and no child should be put in that position. It's also utterly uncaring.

Willowswood · 23/12/2022 05:58

How did your DH react when he saw your injury?

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